Borrowed and almost destroyed a car

[Muffette]

Before Christmas I was having car trouble and needed to get some work done on my car. My father generously loaned me one of his cars. He is generous like that and I was extremely grateful. He told me several times that the car needed a service at 30k miles and he would take it back from me then. He is very careful with everything and gets his cars serviced every 10k miles. I felt very secure driving his car knowing that it was so well cared for it was unlikely to break down (unlike my own jalopy).

As the car reached 30k the service light came on (a spanner light), I told him and we arranged to swap cars a week or so later. l didn't do much mileage in that time and so handed his car back with thank you's and so on. When he got home he dipped the engine to check the oil and discovered that it was nearly empty, he called the garage and they came with a tow truck to collect the car and bring it to their garage. He is beyond livid with me and will not speak to me. Now I know I should stick more rigorously to "neither a borrower nor a lender be" but I was in a pickle and he insisted at the time.

The thing is, should a car which is serviced every 10k run out of oil? (assuming the oil is changed at every service) and secondly, am I really thick not to have dipped the oil myself? Honestly, it never occurred to me. I checked the manual to make sure the light was an automated one and not something more sinister. At no time did the oil light come on. I am really upset at being so thick but at the same time my father is often very angry with me (i am in my 40's btw, not 19) and I really didn't need this excuse for him to turn on me again. However, I feel that his reaction to me is extreme, AIBU? (would you have thought to check the oil?)

Haven't read TFT but DH's car, at c 180K miles currently, is serviced every 15,000 miles & he literally never checks the oil (afaik)

His is a diesel - yours might be petrol, but even so your dad overreacted

Not for checks no.

For a service.

oil should be checked for any long journey and intermittently otherwise. Before a long journey I would usually check, cant believe how few people do it.

However he is over-reacting and calling a tow truck is just silly.

Christ the garage must love him! Your dad must be putting the owners kids through private school.
Tow truck?!

I'm sorry he's being a dick. :(

The bloke's a complete tool. Tell him to give his head a wobble.

The tow truck driver must have been

I check the things I listed myself every week. 99 times out of 100 it costs me nothing but time (as I said).

The car gets serviced every 4.5k miles as per the manufacturers’ requirements. And the other every 9k miles as per the manufacturers’ requirements. I wouldn’t have a car with a 30k service interval serviced every 5k miles. But I also know that there are fewer than 100 of my car’s engines in the world and I don’t want it seizing up!

The Highway Code mandates basic weekly checks for all cars. It’s not OTT, it’s a standard recommendation.

Christ the garage must love him! Your dad must be putting the owners kids through private school

Yes, I think the same Uterus!

OP I suggest that your father not speaking to you is a blessing. He doesn’t treat you well when he does speak to you. Personally I would roll
My eyes and ignore. Let him get in touch with you and apologise for his appalling overreaction. Send him a tub of oil if you feel like it.

The last time he stopped speaking to me for months was because one evening I didn't answer my house phone or mobile (9pm as I was putting my child to bed and reading a story and so didn't hear either phone). He was apoplectic

WTF??? You know that this is really quite a long way from being normal right? I am so sorry you are having this horrible time and for what its worth, it would never even have occurred to me to check the oil, especially on a car that is so babied!! Perhaps you should turn it around on him - “I am terribly upset that you leant me a car without checking that it would be safe for me to drive. What if its lack of oil had caused it to seize up on the motorway?” He is being an utter git, though, so this is probably not the best way to go!

I'm cringing at the thought of only checking my oil every 10k miles. That's about a years mileage for most people.

All fluids should be checked every time you fill up.

I get mine serviced every 5 months to keep my warranty in check. It was worth it a few months back when a part went that was covered under the warranty but would have cost me hundreds if I didn't get the services done. The services are about $30 each (not in the uk). If it wasn't for the warranty, I'd get the service done every 6-8 months after wrecking a car for not getting one in 3 years.

I check the oil before all long journeys and then every now and then. I have a good feel of the car so can usually tell from the feel if something seems wrong but with regular services I've not usually found the oil low. And mines an old car.

Your dad was OTT.

Oh god, I check mine every time I get out of my car and again every time I get in it, as a minimum.

Do they teach this stuff when you do your driving test? I can’t remember if I learned it.

He sounds like an angry, controlling jerk. If I were you I'd be thanking God on bended knee that he'd decided not to talk to me!

Enjoy the peace and quiet.

TittyG - Evo?

Over the past 30 years I've owned six different cars from six different manufacturers, for 20 of those years driving 300 miles a week, and I've never checked the oil. I've never had a problem. (I do have main dealer services according to the official schedule.)

I have literally never checked oil and I've been driving for 30 years. Has never occurred to me.

From the Highway Code:

Tyre pressures. Check weekly. Do this before your journey, when tyres are cold. Warm or hot tyres may give a misleading reading.

Your brakes and steering will be adversely affected by under-inflated or over-inflated tyres. Excessive or uneven tyre wear may be caused by faults in the braking or suspension systems, or wheels which are out of alignment. Have these faults corrected as soon as possible.

Fluid levels. Check the fluid levels in your vehicle at least weekly. Low brake fluid may result in brake failure and a crash. Make sure you recognise the low fluid warning lights if your vehicle has them fitted.

Before winter. Ensure that the battery is well maintained and that there are appropriate anti-freeze agents in your radiator and windscreen bottle.

www.gov.uk/guidance/the-highway-code/annex-6-vehicle-maintenance-safety-and-security

Certainly something that came up in my test 23 years ago. My dad had me changing oil and spark plugs etc with him by 6 though so I was conditioned to do this stuff early.

UpLighter. Possibly.

I have an old Toyota and never check oil levels between services. I'd be astonished if oil would get to dangerous levels in a 3 year old car that quickly, and it certainly wouldn't need towing. The garage people must be laughing their socks off at your father.

TittyG

I've only had one car which needed weekly oil checks ancient Range Rover and the rest I've checked maybe once a month, or before a long journey when it wouldn't be easy to stop if the oil warning light came on.

If you'd driven his car around for another week with the oil light on, then yes, you could have damaged the engine. But the warning light wasn't on, just the service reminder. When he says the oil was 'almost empty' is that really almost empty... or a quarter full with a good excuse to yell at you?

My car tells my oil is ok every time I use it. We top up a few times a year, before long trips. Your father is an arse.

it wqas only 5 weeks there shouldnt have been a problem

if the oil is on empty theres something wrong with car thats not that old

and anyway u just top it up u dont have it towed-unless he knew there wa a problem and decided to just blame u for it

OP do you actually know he had it towed? Who told you he did?