To ask how you would feel if your adult child decided to emigrate to Oz or NZ

[CaraBosse1]

Be honest and don't say you'd be "cool" about it if you wouldn't really

Honestly ok. But then I have no real relationship with my mother because she was so prescriptive about how I should libe my life. I am excited when my children have their own goals.

Devastated and def would tell them!!

Sad, but it's their life, and also pleased that they had the gumption to move if they needed to do so. I'd be planning holidays.

I would be heartbroken, but encourage them to follow their heart

The thought of it makes me feel sick, but if it was what they wanted I would keep quiet!

I'd be chuffed to bits for them, it's something I've always fancied doing & I'd be glad of the chance to visit them over there & possibly relocate at some later stage myself if it wouldn't annoy them.

But we're not a family that live in each others pockets, my parents are in Spain & I see them once a year on average, my DP's parents are nearby but we don't want to see them too much to be fair!!

I'd be mortified, my 3 children are all adults now but they come home once a week.
That feels long enough without seeing them.

I'd smile and say oh wow, what a great life opportunity but I'd be breaking my heart inside.

I would be thrilled for them. Of course I would miss them terribly, but there is no way that I would be openly sad about it in front of them. They only have one life. They need to be free to go out there and live it!

I would then be planning holidays so we could go and visit them and see their new home!

I think it’s ok to tell your children that you are sad whilst still supporting and being excited for them, otherwise, they might think that you’re not that fussed!!

I wouldn't be that surprised. It's easier out there in many ways (I'm from Australia myself). If they had already secured a job I would encourage them to go if they were on the fence about it. My only fear would be my sons marrying typical Australian women

I’d miss them but be thrilled for them. My father emigrated after my mother died. I miss him but he’s happy and we have free accommodation for visiting!!

*my family has been on the move for a couple of centuries so this kind of thing may be normal to me. The last generation without a migrant was my great great grandparents as far as I know.

You cannot live your childrens lives. They must follow their dreams no matter how much it hurts. You must let them go.
I went to live abroad at the age of 23 with my parents blessing so no way would I prevent my child from doing the same.

I was thinking about this today because I feel it's incredibly likely after Brexit that they will want to. I would go myself but I'm too old. I would be very supportive, but probably very sad. I would make sure they had all the skills they needed to make it a success and I'd go to see them often.

It would not surprise me as I have lived overseas for 23 years and my dcs have lived in three different countries. I would miss them, but so much easier and cheaper to keep in contact, than when I left the UK in 1995.

My only fear would be my sons marrying typical Australian women 

What? Why? Stereotyping much?

I would be devastated - I'd be thinking about missing out on being a real part of my grandchildren's lives.

I'd want them to do what was right for them though, so I'd try my best not to show it!

Thanks for replies.

I hate the thought of DD and any future grandchildren being that far away. Years ago, Phil Spencer did a property programme about Brits moving to Oz. One family's retired parents were planning to move with them and paid something like £40,000 to have their visas expedited. That was just for the pair of them!

I'd be heartbroken.

It's just so far away. After college most of my close friends moved. (20 years ago, Ireland) The ones that moved to London I see regularly. The ones to moved to America, I see at least every year and have good contact with. The ones that moved to Australia, we might not see for years. Their parents have not met grandchildren until months after etc. It's just not something I'd want for mine but I'd support them and just make the best of the situation (there is Skype!) and as long as they're happy, I'd be happy.

I would be extremely sad but would not dwell on that. I might say, 'I'll miss you but I'm thinking about the holidays I could have.' I appreciate that I am lucky in being able to afford trips to Oz or wherever.

The last thing I would want to do is make them feel guilty (which would be about me, rather than focussing on what they consider is best for them.) Moving that far would be a very exciting prospect for them but also very stressful and I would not wish to add to that. I cannot direct my adult childrens' lives, having brought them up to make their own decisions, considering all factors.

I would do my (doubtless copious) weeping in private.

My brother moved to Australia about 10 years ago with his two children and wife. My parents visit every year, I don't go nearly as often. Obviously we miss them all terribly but they have a much better life than they'd have over here and that's what's important I think.

I’d be sad but hope I would support them in their choice and stay in contact via whatever methods around at that time, visit when possible and hope that we still keep a strong relationship

I would be very careful about what I said to them - trying to be encouraging but realistic, it won't be every weekend on the beach etc - but I would be absolutely gutted. The distance is so great, it's hard (both money and time wise) to visit very often. Whole difficult ball game to moving within the same country or even Europe.