To ask how you would feel if your adult child decided to emigrate to Oz or NZ

[CaraBosse1]

Be honest and don't say you'd be "cool" about it if you wouldn't really

I would be happy for them and sad on the inside.
My two are already planning to emigrate. My dbro has lived abroad all his adult life and I know my mum missed him but had lots of daughters as well. The first thing he said to me after the brexit vote was your kids will be alright because they can go anywhere.
I think it's going to be really common in the next 20 years. Lots of young people will probably leave.
So I'll be sad but I'll never tell them that.

My aunt had this happen. She and my uncle speak every Sunday evening on Skype with their daughter. Aunt and uncle visit every other year. The year they do not visit my cousin and her family travel over.

My aunt and uncle have got used to it.

I'd be devastated. In fact I am nearly am crying just thinking about it. There's me being totally honest.

I'd try very hard not to show it though and let them go there own way without me making it hard.

their not there obvs

Devastated but supportive. I wouldn’t want to move there but would prioritise saving for regular visits.

'I'm that child, you need to be supportive and visit when you can'

Which may be never for some people. Some parents will never be able to afford even the £600. Some will have health problems that preclude that lengthy flight. As long as the ones who are emigrated realise that their parents may not be able to go over there, though, well, that is their lookout.

I'd be gutted because it's so, so so far. And I'd be one of those who couldn't afford to go.

But I'd smile and wave.

I think that with all the UK is going through at the moment, emigrating children will be more and more common.

I'd stick on a big smile and say 'It's only a day away' if anyone banged on about how far it was distance-wise.

I'd miss them like crazy, but there's phone, text, skype and whatever else these days so it's not like being out of touch for months at a time, is it?

If you love someone enough, you have to be prepared to let them go.

@EggsonHeads I am interested in My only fear would be my sons marrying typical Australian women 

What is your impression of a “typical Australian woman”? Genuinely interested.

A friend of mine married a Canadian and was going to live in Canada. She told her parents that she would only go and live there if they moved there as well, they moved and one of them hates it and the other loves it but they are stuck there as they can't afford to come back and it'd mean them splitting up as one won't come back - the wife said to her husband that she was going whether he went or not. They live close to each other but my 'friend' (she's not any more) has no children, a well paid job and is travelling a lot and hardly sees her parents who are now spending their retirement in a place where they hardly know anybody, is very cold at this time of year and hardly see their daughter.

Good luck to them, as it’s become a lot more tricky and expensive to emigrate to Aus in the last few years. Visas are at least £5,000 and the moving process and re-establishing yourself in Aus can cost £15,000 in total. Assuming you can get a visa... many parents on here devastated that their kids might leave, needn’t worry as many of your children won’t qualify for a Visa nor be able to afford to finance a move. It’s really expensive to emigrate and move your whole life. Trapped in Brexit Britain 😂

We are both Australian in the Uk. My
Parents have one child in the us, two in France, me in the uk with my sister looking to move here this year. A couple of them are settled pretty permanently and Parents have only ever been supportive. It will be lovely for us to move back and be close by though in a couple of years.

From the other side of things...my DH has brought up the idea of emigrating to Canada. We haven't seriously started making plans but it's given is something to think about.

I mentioned it to my mum, who seemed really on-side with the idea. I did I was worried/feeling a bit guilty about what would happen with her in the future (I'm an only child, if she needed care the is no other family to do it). She was said that we mustn't make our decisions based on what might happen to her at some point in the future. She is the tour of lady who would tell you if she disagreed with something so I'm confident I got an honest response from her.

DH's family on the other hand? We've not mentioned it to them at all, but I know they would be heart-broken. They get upset if he doesn't see them on Christmas Day (boxing day/Christmas Eve/another day around that time are not acceptable, it has to be actual Christmas day) so I don't know how he thinks they are going to cope with just seeing him maybe one a year.

Im ignoring eggsonheads.

Julie it is indeed very expensive. I only got in because DH is Aussie and his parents basically paid for my visa! No way would we have managed it without them.

Sausages I moved to different places - main home in Sydney, but also lived in Darwin in NT for many years and have travelled all over the country, either visiting family in Perth, Brisbane, Tamworth, Quirindi, Melbourne, friends who studied in Canberra, honeymoon in Tasmania (which is actually the place I like best in the whole country), skiing at Perisher and Thredbo, walked up Mount Kosciuszko, holidays to Broome and Kunnanurra, Alice Springs and Uluru, countless trips to Kakadu , visited Cairns and the Gold Coast, and to Adelaide and SA a couple of times (the Barossa Valley does have great wine, that's for sure!). We actually took the Ghan trip when we left the NT, but didn't stay in Adelaide long. I regret never having been to the Barrier Reef or seen the 12 Apostles in person , but it's a quick trip from Asia to get to either.
I left for the UK, I now live in SE Asia, and am hoping to live in at least two or three more countries before I leave this earth. My children have only lived in the UK and SE Asia, but they have their Aussie citizenship should they ever wish to try it out there - just because I'm never returning, doesn't mean they shouldn't have the chance to.
But I genuinely wonder why they would want to! The longest I've ever lived in one city is in London, which I much prefer over anywhere I've lived/been in Australia.
Like I said, I think Australia is great for holidays (as is NZ), but I wouldn't want to live there again.
Different strokes for different folks. So glad you've found a part of the world that suits you and your family. Wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same??!

I'd be horrified (and I'm not certain that I'd manage to hide it).

There was an episode a few years ago on daytime telly of some show where families are thinking of moving to Australia. This one family included a teenage girl who'd "recently reconnected with her father". At the time (I was much younger - it was probably before children) I'd thought how horrible for her mother - the father had been absent for years and then was going to take the daughter away.

What an insular view so many people have! The world is much smaller now than it used to be and you can get great airline deals. We live abroad (US). Loads of people have been to visit us in the time we’ve been here. It inspired my DPs to travel long haul for the first time ever, the first of what became many trips.

The only thing that does get wearing is the constant - if you were here, we could help with childcare etc. And then when we go back to visit, it’s all too much hassle. The GPs certainly have a romanticized idea of how it would have been different had we stayed, which in all reality would never have happened! It’s one of the reasons we don’t count that as a factor in moving back!

2 adults for less than £600

That's not really representative though, is it? A return flight from my nearest airport to Sydney (cheapest one from the range of prices) was £895 for one person. According to Skyscanner the cheapest return from Heathrow to Sydney last month was £554 for one person. For many, many people that's just not affordable to do yearly. And that's not allowing for families who have children they'd have to take with them, only being able to take time off in more expensive times of year, health concerns etc.

It's costing us £620 to visit my sister in Spain during February half term (the only time DH could get time off work allowing for minimal school missed for DS), and that's flying to Malaga, not including accommodation (because her apartment is a flat share and hasn't got space for four of us to rock up) and car hire. It's not as simple as "Oh but you could fly at 10pm on the first wednesday in January for £30".

and EggsOnHeads deserves ignoring, timeisnotaline!

Having upped and left myself, I'd be very hypocritical if I didn't want children of mine to do it.

I'd be happy for them, but I'd make sure they knew that any move didn't have to be permanent or even for more than a year if they didn't like it. But to give anywhere a year. As I say, I've been there. The first year was Tough. I'm now over 10 years so it did work, but I've seen so many people give up after 2-3 months and I can't help but hunk they've not given it a fair chance.

I have my closest friends on 3 other continents, and my family are in the UK. The world is a smaller place than even 25 years ago with regards to moving away. There'll even be direct London to Perth flights in a few months.

But, I have severe wanderlust so I may not be the right person to comment

I think what would bug me would be the time difference, rather than the travel time. I grew up with a father in another country and the time difference was important - it meant that there was almost no convenient time for us to speak on the phone (and the time difference was much less than from the UK to Australia). Although people have said that parents can skip their children / grandchildren, it is really hard to have a relationship with them that way.

Llangollen
Yes, cruise is possible but as you say not an everyday occurrence. Cruises do go to northern hemisphere from Aust (infrequent schedules though). They are LONG - Sydney to England is 7 weeks on a cruise with 5 weeks of that open ocean cruising so a lot of motion. Still, I would walk over hot coals to see my kids if they move overseas so would do it if needed. Cruises to NZ are a dime a dozen, don’t take long and are not expensive in the scheme of things. Just can’t see why kids would live there though (nothing wrong with it, just talking in terms of opportunity) so preparing myself that at least one will be lost to the northern hemisphere.

I'd be devastated but would encourage them to live their life.

Sprinkle star my mum persuaded my sister to move from Scotland to England because she wished she could help with childcare. At that time sister had a 4 year old and mother was full of how she'd do holiday and after school care - it only lasted a week before she announced it was too much! Sister gave up her new job straight away.

My mother's absolute favourite line is "we'd help if you were closer" - no, you wouldn't though, at least not in any meaningful way!

Being in another country means retired grandparents can tell themselves how much they'd do if only they could - but what I shame it isn't practical, so I'll do a bit of gardening then go out for lunch with my friends in a similar situation and get a massage afterwards instead