To not let my kids spend their Christmas money

[Mintychoc1]

I have 2 boys, age 12 and 8. They are pretty active, love football etc, but like many other kids they also like to spend ages on the bloody Xbox.

Now I always innocently believed that once you'd bought a game, that was it - you played the game. But no - there are seemingly infinite ways to spend more money, buying accessories for your character, new players for your team etc, and so the potential for spending is huge. These acquisitions enhance the game experience for about half a day as far as I can see, then the kids want more. It's a bottomless pit.

Both kids asked for some money for Christmas, which I duly gave them (as well as plenty of other stuff). Now we are arguing about spending it. I allowed them to spend a fair bit of it on these Xbox bonuses over Christmas, but now I'm being stricter. I can't bear the thought of them pissing away my hard-earned cash on such transient enjoyment. That money was meant to last them months, not weeks.

They think it's their money and they should be allowed to spend it as they choose. I think they're too young to make that decision, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't given it to them.

To put it in context, these Xbox bonuses cost plenty. One of their friends spent £250 in a week (without his parents' knowledge) on new kit for his character! My kids have nothing like that amount, but it goes to show how easily large sums can be frittered away.

So, AIBU to regulate how and when they spend their own money?

Would you let him spend it in a casino? No? These online games give these treasure chests that give the rush of gambling to underage children. They will probably need regulation in the next few years, because they are literally creating child gambling addicts who are spending substantial amounts of money on their addictions. And parents tend to get angry at the kids, rather than realizing that exposure to this kind of game, for some children, is basically irresistible.

You need to cut off the games, not enable gambling in kids. I work in the tech field and the people working just downstairs from me make games with lots of in-app purchases. They full well know they are preying on addicts. 90% of people NEVER buy a single in-app purchase. The 10% who do are how they make all their money, and they are classic addicts. I have seen their "buyer persona research" showing that they know their customers are addicted, and their response is to find new ways to work the dopamine/addiction cycle.

I have specifically declined employment at gaming companies because of this kind of predatory behavior.

The company I work above has employees making $150-200k, and their managers even more, who are focused on things like loot crate animations that give children just the level of anticipatory rush most likely to result in addictive loops beginning. They're trying to actively cultivate addictive behavior even in people who hadn't previously been prone to it.

If people understood how many tens of millions of dollars are spent to keep people engaging in microtransactions, and how contemptuously these customers are regarded by the companies they're buying from, they'd be sick and never let their kids play video games.

In the San Francisco Bay/Silicon Valley area, by the way, it's considered a sign of fairly bad parenting by tech company employees to let your kids play any video games at all, much less in-app purchase games or "freemium" ones that depend wholly on microtransactions. Those computer engineers do teach their kids to code, but they're mostly raising their children on a hearty assortment of pretend play, travel, afterschool activities, and so on. Some of the computer engineers are themselves addicted to microtransactions, and really want their children to avoid the same fate. Others simply regard it as letting your kid be a dupe to let them engage in these games.

I wouldn't give my son cash for this very reason. I grew up without regularly receiving pocket money but whenever I asked my parents for money, they wouldn't ask how I would spend it. So either you don't give them the cash or just grit your teeth while they fritter it away.

Yes I do think some posters are assuming a level playing field when it comes to child spending.

Sadly the massive and competing multimillion dollar industries out there make it a very bumpy playing field indeed. With the innocent children right at the bottom of the pile.

We need to catch up and protect our kids because sadly, no one else is.

The way to protect your kids is to teach them while giving them limited disposable cash. The Op hasn't given them 50K to fritter, just some xmas money. The lesson she hoped they'd learned from last time when they couldn't buy new boots as they had frittered it away hasn't hit home. Repetition might get the job done!

If you want someone to have something specific then buy it for them as a present. If you want them to have money to spend for themselves, then you can't take it back later!

I'm really conflicted on the games console world. I feel DD is missing out because all we have as an aged wii and we don't ever use it. But I wouldn't want her sucked into gambling or microtransaction type games either.

argh!

YANBU. These microtransaction games are disgraceful imo.

I'm really conflicted on the games console world. I feel DD is missing out because all we have as an aged wii and we don't ever use it. But I wouldn't want her sucked into gambling or microtransaction type games either.

It doesn't have to be an either/or. Ex-H makes games/I used to work for a games co so DD has access to pretty much any console she wants. We teach her to use them sensibly. In-app purchases are always banned (apart from on a game she plays where you earn "in game" money by completing quests, she saves those up to buy new characters)

She has no access to payment info and her ipad/phone are locked down and she has to gain permission via notification from us before she can download anything. In app purchases always turned off!

he has no access to payment info and her ipad/phone are locked down We have done this at the moment. The DC are allowed to play on an iPad but there is no internet access on it. I insisted that DH didn't save his card details on the Nintendo so he actually has to get his card before he buys something so the DC can't actually buy anything.

I don't know how long we can realistically keep them off the internet though.

She accesses the internet when she is with either me or her dad. She likes finding pics of minecraft worlds to build.

She also uses for homework, again when supervised

My teen boys are similarly addicted to games (fortnite, overwatch, fifa, hearthstone etc), but microtransactions are (almost) always banned in our house. DH and I play games too and we apply the same rule to ourselves. A very small number of exceptions have been made for specific things that would make a significant and permanent difference to whatever game, but I'm talking about £20 total in 2 years across all of us. For each of these they have come to us with a case for the transaction, explained what benefits it would give them, and we have discussed it. Then, if they decide to go ahead, they have paid me in cash before I put the pin in to authorise the transaction.

I think it's just ingrained into them all that microtransactions are bad, so they tened not to ask, but know they can if they believe it's genuinely important. I didn't even know fifa had micro transactions - DS has never mentioned it.

The challenge with all these games is to be good, or to get enjoyment out of them, despite lack of microtransactions. If a game is designed so this is impossible they can (and do) move onto another game.