to think that there is no one on here that would not be bloody hurt and angry by this

[bagpuss90]

I posted on here before about my partners close relationships with his exes and how I struggle with this. I have kind of come to terms with the main one and we rub along okay. Anyway there is another ex who he bought a house with and lived with for a time. Since they split up he admits they have had an on - off sexual relationship though he swears never while he has been with anyone else. Anyway he is going to her part of the country on business next month and he tells me he intends staying over. He think's I'm a bunny boiling irrational nutter to object big time. Who the fuck wouldn't?? Even if he doesn't sleep with her its still inappropriate and downright disrespectful I am so bloody hurt and angry about this. I am a whisker away from dumping him. I need advice please

Dump him, he has no concern for your feelings. Be on your own, or wait for someone that treats you with respect.

Just make it VERY clear to him, that if he stays over at his ex’s you will not be waiting for him when he comes back. Then it’s his call. There’s no point in making him stop with you if he wants to be elsewhere.

I've had an ex stay at my place. I put him my daughter's room and she came in with me so I know these situations can be innocent. We were also both single so didn't have to worry about our partners feelings in the matter.
What's key is how you feel about this and his attitude towards your feelings. You are not comfortable with this situation. He should be reassuring and respect what you feel and find alternative accommodation.

I've had an ex stay at my place. I put him my daughter's room and she came in with me so I know these situations can be innocent. We were also both single so didn't have to worry about our partners feelings in the matter.
What's key is how you feel about this and his attitude towards your feelings. You are not comfortable with this situation. He should be reassuring and respect what you feel and find alternative accommodation.

I'd be furious.

Bagpuss, he's horrible. He reminds me of an ex of mine who often put me down and gradually made me feel worse and worse about myself. The comment about his ex being a great dancer, when you did dance classes before you minor stroke, is just plain nasty. He wants you to feel inadequate, it's what allows him to feel good about himself.

I'm not one to say "dump him!", but you seriously need to get out of this relationship because he is damaging you and you deserve better. He is poison.

N.b. To anyone who says "he's allowed to have friends". Of course he is, but when they are all exes, when he is going to stay with a woman who is an ex and a friend with benefits, then seriously no, he is not allowed to play those games.

Nooo chance!
I'm usually of the train of thought of "oh for goodness sake, men and women can be just friends!"
Staying overnight with an ex, someone he's had an off relationship with for ages, he says stuff like she's a great dancer, bigs her up, he doesn't give a shit about your feelings - nooo way would I be comfortable at all if DH did that!
Oh, and bohemian relationship?
He's a knobber for coming out with pretentious nonsense for that alone!

Dump his bohemian ass

i wouldnt be ok with it, and i would dump him for it

I wouldn't trust him at all. He knows it bothers you he shouldn't do it x

Well Bagpuss, at least you don't have to throw him out, or move out yourself. You are worth so much more, he's chancing his arm.
Time to tell him to jog on, out of your life !

NOPE! This is NOT okay! I'd go nuts!

I don't think it matters what strangers on the internet think. All that matters is that you're not comfortable with it. You can't dictate what he does, but you can choose how you respond

Definitely not just you.

Ditch his bohemian backside! What a twat.

He is doing exactly as he pleases, then acting as if you are insecure and jealous when you call him up on it. He's not considering your feelings at all.

You have every right to be upset and ask him not to stay there. He won't change and will never put you first.

Walk away.

I remember your other thread. Life is too short for the dramas he likes to start. Sack him off and find a grown up to date.

(As PP said, my first thought was Simon Cowell aswell)
At least with cheats and liars, they attempt to cover up their sleazy antics but your arrogant twat actually gives you enough warning in advance. He actually** wants you to be losing sleep over what he could be getting up to. Red flags galore...dump!

And yes I’d feel the same as you btw.

Get rid. No relationship is worth being in if the other party ever goes ahead with something you have voiced you are uncomfortable with. Especially this kind of thing.

It's downright weird and I agree not many people would be ok with this.

Out of interest - would he be ok with you doing the same? Like genuinely. Not just him saying 'aw aye of course I would no issues'. If it actually came down to it how would he react if you told him you intended to do this?

Get rid of him OP. He sounds like a dick.

He is actually in his early fifties

He sounds deeply unpleasant and deeply in love with himself. Dump.