to think that there is no one on here that would not be bloody hurt and angry by this

[bagpuss90]

I posted on here before about my partners close relationships with his exes and how I struggle with this. I have kind of come to terms with the main one and we rub along okay. Anyway there is another ex who he bought a house with and lived with for a time. Since they split up he admits they have had an on - off sexual relationship though he swears never while he has been with anyone else. Anyway he is going to her part of the country on business next month and he tells me he intends staying over. He think's I'm a bunny boiling irrational nutter to object big time. Who the fuck wouldn't?? Even if he doesn't sleep with her its still inappropriate and downright disrespectful I am so bloody hurt and angry about this. I am a whisker away from dumping him. I need advice please

I would dump him for the bohemien relationship massive twat comment.

Yeuk what a sleeze. He fancies himself and only himself op. Dump his sorry ass

I really agree with fizzygreenwater on this one.

The fact is, this feels really wrong and you have made this clear. Even if he goes with intentions of being honourable, it is easy to see how after a couple of evening drinks, that they could easily 'slip' into previous behaviours and end up in bed with one another.
I would draw a line in the sand and if he fails to go along with your request of not staying over, then call it a day.

I would have big trust issues with a man like this.

Just dump him then instead of tying yourself in knots about it

If you don't want the drama, walk away

troels

X post almost word for word

Get shot of him. He sounds horrible.

Seriously. You need to lose this guy. What a prick.

He takes his EX dancing and for dinner?? Yup I'd of been gone there. There wouldn't be a chance for him to sleep at his EX g house. Nope. So very disrespectful. Theyre obviosuly going to have sex. Get him sacked off. You're worth well more than that. And the fact he used 'bohemian' haha what a twat

It depends really on how long you’ve been together. A month, quite casual yabu. A year,yanbu, get rid.
The thing is he keeping you all on the go.
The bohemian thing made me laugh though.
What’s to be gained by staying together? You sound incompatible.

Bohemian relationship?

He's the type to "consciously uncouple"... a pretentious cockwomble.

He doesn't respect you or your feelings and the fact you've accepted some of he isn't going to change.

You deserve someone who doesn't need his head surgically removing from his backside.

I personally would have no issue with my DP staying at an ex house for the night.
I would have a much bigger problem with him staying with someone he has had an on and off relationship for years, wether that person was an ex or not.

But the bottom line is that it causes YOU an issue and this is YOUR boundary. And that’s fine and he should accept it wo judging it.

If him stay8ng at the ex house is such a huge issue for you (that he does t) and him (because he thinks it’s fine), then you might want to review the situation/relationship.

The dancer comment confirms he's a massive twat. Tell him you have very different values and it's best you split. As for

He says they have enjoyed a bohemian relationship since they split

What kind of prat says anything like this? Only Austin Powers. And at least he was funny.

Mutual trust here. My DH a)wouldn't do that, b) wouldn't call me that and c) would be fucked off if I did it.

He is a prick and he is getting off on your reaction to these relationships. You deserve better, a decent man would not treat you like this....please consider getting rid of this immature dickhead.

Thats true he doesn't really have male friends

He really is just a massive steaming prick.

Is he a bit rubbish in bed? Because alllll this 'oooh look I have sooo many exes and they allll want to hang round with me and I'm sooooo cool because I don't sleep with them unless I'm single and then they CAN'T WAIT for us to enjoy casual boheeeemian sex' is like him having a huge flashing sign above his head saying I AM INSECURE.

You on the other hand sound normal. Find someone else who is nice, and normal, and builds you up instead of constantly stomping on your feelings in order to prove how cool they are.

I wouldn't be a whisker away from dumping him - the dumping would have happened.

Its been nearly a year

he doesn't really have male friends

you don't say

You can correct that. He doesn't really have many friends, full stop. Because he's an arse and presumably not much fun. What he does instead is float around his exes like a still-pungent fart, offering himself up as a mirror in which they can admire themselves.

Do dump, darling. It'll feel simply wonderful.

Yanbu and don’t listen to all the ‘cool wives’

No way.

Esp no way if he’s gaslighting you by using ‘bunny boiler’ at the same time as using the phrase ‘bohemian’ - which is surely a massively wanky phrase for fuck buddy

bagpuss90 The more you post the more he sounds like a self involved abusive knobber.

There does come a point where it becomes your own choice to subject yourself to this shit

No one has a gun to your head
Walk away.

Regardless of the ex or his thoughtless comments about dancing... I’m going to give you some advice my gran gave me when I was with a guy who made me feel shitty / insecure

“Don’t be with anyone who makes you upset or feel “less-than”, only ever be with men who make you feel on top of the world”

She’s right and you need to think about that

'he doesn't really have male friends'

Surprise, surprise!

Exactly expat.

I can't believe the naivete of some posters -
'friends'?! WTF?

Dump. him. OP