Shorter men

[DusktilDawn]

I'm 5'8 and I'm chatting to a really nice guy online but he's also 5'8. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit put off? I'm a bit overweight and feel like I'd look like a beast next to him!

Maid Average height for a man in the UK is 5 ft 9. To describe men who are 5 ft 10 ish or below as short is patently ridiculous. That'd be like a bloke saying "I'm not immediately attracted to fat women (size 12 or above)". If you yourself are 6 ft, feel free to say you're not immediately attracted to SHORTER men.

Fat shaming is frowned on (rightly) on mn. But short shaming is still alive and well it seems.

If tbete is such a thing as "short man syndrome" it's a result of the way short men are treated in society, not the cause. FWIW I've known a few tall men who were arrogant, smug and conceited. They're not all like that obviously any more than all short men have SMS, but some are. Some women would probably find that a turn on.

Im the same height as my dp. I dont understand the need to have someone massively bigger than me. It doesnt mean he is not strong or protective if thats the worry.

Preference is preference but you won't know that until you meet the guy in person! You might have great chemistry and not notice the height, or you just might not be attracted. But you won't know by judging a description on a computer screen

That can be problem with online dating, you are judging based on a very fleeting impression. It doesn't capture that weird in-person chemistry that can make you wild for someone who wouldn't be your type on paper. Similarly, that hot looking model-a-like that turns out to be a bit of a wet fish in person!

That isn't short?

I haven't said 5'8 is short. I've said it's shorter - i.e. shorter than average.

P.S. my OH is about an inch smaller than me (I'm 5'9). Maybe if I had met him online I wouldn't have given him a chance and missed out on the best person in my life (and sexiest ).

Understood Shatner, I guess I was trying to convey my own personal threshold of when a man becomes ‘too short for me, at first glance’, but I made it sound like I was relaying an absolute!

I am 5’4’’

Interestingly, I am attracted to short females. I don’t fancy women over maybe 5’8’’ (although can recognise when taller women are objectively attractive, of course).

Dusk No, you didn't, but Maid said anyone under 5ft 10 was short.

Maid As average height for a woman is 5ft 3, you must therefore be considered tall. Average weight for a woman is apparently 11 stone. I shan't ask

I know a couple of men who don’t find tall women attractive. It doesn’t bother (tall) me in the slightest. I don’t find everyone attractive. I like to think I’m fairly discerning tbh. So I don’t expect everyone to fancy me, (because if they didn’t they’d be height shaming).

I do t think it’s short shaming to not be attracted to someone shorter than you.

If I’m out in a bar and single, I would automatically discount any man under 6ft ish. Just my preference! I am 5’7. I am equally sure that men would discount me at that point for being too tall, a brunette etc... we can’t help our on the spot ‘I fancy that person’ preferences!

OLD complicates things because you might think ‘they sound nice’ but they’re not my usual ‘type’ or whatever and only in meeting them will you know if it’s a deal breaker or not.

Dp is 5 feet 7.
I am 6 feet.
Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Shatner I like my men tall and bear-like. I like my women short and athletic.

I’m just a bundle of stereotypical thinking

(Present tense is conversational only, I am happily married)

Mothers of short boys need to get a fucking grip.
No woman owes your son a shag!

Maid No, I meant whether you were average weight or not

There has been research on height and desirability and there is an over riding factor that tall males are seen as more desirable. I had a quick Google and a lot of research has been done in this area. So over all yes but as ever there are always people that will not agree.

No woman owes your son a shag!

Indeed.

Some of the responses to this

Pressed too soon! Some of the responses to this thread are baffling. It’s not like the OP is 5ft and saying you’re only a real man if you’re at least 6ft4 and won’t date anyone shorter

It is difficult if you’re a taller woman because - as with shorter men - society does drum into you that you’re unfeminine and, IMO, made to feel less attractive than the coveted dainty, elfin features that characterise ‘beauty’. As with a shorter man being bombarded with imagery that suggests their height negates their masculinity you can begin to understand why a taller woman might begin to feel self conscious, and that in turn translate into insecurities when dating. I’m 5ft8 and DH is a couple of inches taller incidentally. I can’t remember ever actively selecting a date based on height but my insecurities definitely made me feel that men shorter than me wouldn’t find me attractive because of my size.

Do you think society does not drum into short men that they are less desirable and less masculine?

I'm chatting to a short guy on POF. I'm enjoying the conversation. Thing is, 5'7'' means 5'5'' doesn't it?

Well, if it's any consolation, with women's OLD profiles, size 10 really means size 14, and 'medium build' is often treated as a synonym for overweight.

I would meet him to see what he was like! My fiancé is only an inch or so taller than me! Someone said meet for a quick coffee to see if there is chemistry I don’t see that you would know after just a “quick” coffee you need a couple of hours I reckon!