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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shorter men

274 replies

DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 16:04

I'm 5'8 and I'm chatting to a really nice guy online but he's also 5'8. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit put off? I'm a bit overweight and feel like I'd look like a beast next to him!

OP posts:
Original poster
DusktilDawn · 17/01/2018 23:09

5'8. If not a bit taller.

OP posts:
Springiscoming123 · 17/01/2018 23:09

really pleased for you

CauliflowerBalti · 17/01/2018 23:17

I'm blown away that you met a guy online who described his height as 5'8" and he was actually 5'8"

On online dating sites, I found that anyone under 5'10" lied about their height. I'm also 5'8". The amount of men saying they're the same height or taller than me, that I towered over... It's such a stupid thing to lie about. Anyway. I digress.

You've found the one. The man under 5'10" that only tells the truth. You must marry him. SO PLEASED it went well!

Original poster
DusktilDawn · 17/01/2018 23:23

I can't believe it either. He's so lovely. Now to act calm and sophisticated! Oh my goodness, what if he is the guy I end up being with?

OP posts:
inmyshoos · 17/01/2018 23:35

So excited for you dusk please please keep us updated!!!! Fingers crossed for you!

DentalDilemma · 17/01/2018 23:42

Yay, great news, OP!

My very lovely DP and I are both 5‘11“ and I also weigh more than him. Blush Don‘t feel like a beast next to him, we look fine together in photos and it‘s great for kissing. He also scored major points with me for being a crazy cat man, so yeah, same height and a shared love of cats is a combo I can highly recommend! Wink

Ihatemarmite123 · 17/01/2018 23:49

I did internet dating and found most blokes added an inch or 2 to their height.

In all honesty I wouldn't be attracted to someone who was shorter than me or the same height.

My in laws have a huge height difference. It's like the trunchable married Danny de Vito

BitOutOfPractice · 18/01/2018 07:08

Ooo he does sound great. Have you texted him to suggest a second date?

PassiveAgressivePenguin · 18/01/2018 07:54

My DH is 6’2 and I am 5’9 and as fat as a house. Recently at a hen do there was a male stripper who was a bit shorter than me doing the entertaining. Now I really am not a fan of male strippers and have always managed to avoid being involved in the excitement, but I was a bit of a sitting duck at this event... some miracle of physical strength this man (a good few inches shorter than me) managed to pick me up and throw me around like a rag doll! I won’t lie I left that party with a smile on my face! DH with all his size and strength has NEVER tried doing that to me. Angry

So the moral of the story is NEVER underestimate the power of the vertically challenged gentlemen. I side eye them all now and smile knowing what secrets they may posess...

Original poster
DusktilDawn · 18/01/2018 14:58

The only issue is that things are clearly still raw from his break up. So I'm going to leave the ball in his court. He's been single for 10 months but it sounds like it was quite messy. I do like him though and he sent me a sweet message earlier Smile.

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 18/01/2018 15:01

My brother in law is shorter than me and I'm on 5'2" so you can imagine...Plus he has a very childlike face so I always find it hard to take him seriously (plus he is never serious) and it's like talking to a 12 year old. And I seem like a hulkish old crone.

ConciseandNice · 18/01/2018 15:02

Sorry stupid cross post. That's the sensible option. I'm glad he is nice (that goes a long way I think, so many nasties out there).

CharizMa · 18/01/2018 20:07

There are, I was supposed to meet somebody earlier today, at 17.30. I got there, he wasn't there, I stayed 'til 17.41 then just as I was outside I got a text ''where are you?'' so i rang him and he was really COLD.... apparently he'd been there and left. He accused me of not liking the look of him and doing a runner (i never saw him). LOADS of red flags, like apparently I should have known that ''i'm in my car'' meant I'm still here and if you beg me to come back I will. He was then whatsapping me post mortems for about two hours. OMG. Can't believe how quick he was to take offence, to run off, to tell me what I should have understood from words that have totally different meanings.. he was acting totally martyred and stood up yet i was the one who sat down, bought a drink, looked around for nearly quarter of an hour. He did one quick lap and didn't see me and ran off and then spent 10 times as long berating me on whatsapp afterwards.

Shock

just omg.

RoseWhiteTips · 18/01/2018 20:49

That sounds like a very lucky escape.

inmyshoos · 18/01/2018 21:14

Jeezo.. . Lucky escape indeed.

dusk does he have dc

CharizMa · 18/01/2018 22:05

yeh he has two, about 18-20 ish. He was 46. He said. Who knows. He was also weird about telling me his name. SO many red flags.

CharizMa · 18/01/2018 22:46

oh sorry! That was to Dusk Blush

Original poster
DusktilDawn · 18/01/2018 22:57

He's been messaging today but it's not as back and forth as much as it was before the date. Maybe it didn't go as well as I thought

OP posts:
Springiscoming123 · 18/01/2018 23:27

calm down and deep breath op,hes in contact thats the main thing

he probably dosent want to scare YOU of

believe me he wouldnt text if he didnt want to

Voice0fReason · 18/01/2018 23:32

it's much more to do with that than how we would look together, if that makes sense
No, that makes no sense at all!
You would be more concerned with your joint outward appearance as a couple? How does that even come into it?

Everyone can choose their potential partners for whatever reason they want to, but if you want potential dates to be open-minded about your looks, it's probably a good idea to be open-minded about theirs.

Reddlion · 19/01/2018 00:42

it's up to you op don't make anyone force you to date someone you are uncomfortable with but I will say atleast give him one date see how you get on.

chestylarue52 · 19/01/2018 12:35

I'm a very enthusiastic dater of shorter men, I think you get a lot of quality men who can't find a date because (as evidenced by this thread) many women discount them straight off the bat. My current lover is 5'7 and he's amazing - funny, clever, good looking, wealthy.

I am also now more noticeable of 6'2 + men thinking they're better/more attractive than they are and being cocky just because they're tall. Height for a man is like weight for a woman - its ok if you just don't find that attractive I guess, but give someone a chance based on their personality and you might be pleasantly surprised.

We have it so engrained from a young age that we should be chasing ‘tall dark and handsome’ - maybe when I was younger yes but now what I’m looking for in a man has changed. A lot of tall dark handsome men in their 30s and 40s are totally insufferable. Try a shorter ginger and you might end up with a wicked sense of humour and a good lover.

RoseWhiteTips · 19/01/2018 13:05

We have it so engrained from a young age that we should be chasing ‘tall dark and handsome’ - maybe when I was younger yes but now what I’m looking for in a man has changed. A lot of tall dark handsome men in their 30s and 40s are totally insufferable. Try a shorter ginger and you might end up with a wicked sense of humour and a good lover.

Tall dark handsome men can be lovely too and have an attractive sense of humour. I know: I’m married to one. Go me.

chestylarue52 · 19/01/2018 13:07

Tall dark handsome men can be lovely too and have an attractive sense of humour. I know: I’m married to one. Go me.

I don’t think anything I said contradicts that.

Havethetshirt · 19/01/2018 13:12

I am 5'9" and also struggled with the short man issue - ended up with a 6'4" husband so all worked out in the end!

I knew a really lovely man who is 5'3" but I looked like the big green giant next to him! A killer to feeling feminine (for me) :)

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