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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shorter men

274 replies

DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 16:04

I'm 5'8 and I'm chatting to a really nice guy online but he's also 5'8. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit put off? I'm a bit overweight and feel like I'd look like a beast next to him!

OP posts:
CharizMa · 15/01/2018 23:20

lightdrizzle i know what you mean, I subconsciously put up with a less fulfilling relationship with my children's father because he was tall and good looking. I would never do that now. NEVER. I envy the women who were hardwired to find a kind provider type of man attractive. I must have been trying to counteract the genes i felt had disadvantaged me. Not sure if they had or not..... but luckily my son has his father's height. My dd is hardly taller than I am.

BuzzKillington · 15/01/2018 23:22

My dh is 5'10 which isn't that short, but he is the shortest of all our friends, so tends to think of himself as a bit on the diminutive side, especially as our eldest is 6'1.

He is 2 inches taller than me though, which is shallow, but important Grin

Joey7t8 · 15/01/2018 23:33

I'm chatting to a short guy on POF. I'm enjoying the conversation. Thing is, 5'7'' means 5'5'' doesn't it?

Possibly.

Sallystyle · 15/01/2018 23:37

At 5ft 1 I would not date a man shorter than me. I just wouldn't be attracted to them.

If I was 5,8 I am not sure if I would have a problem with dating a man the same height as me, but I know I would always prefer them to be taller than me.

Reality is, if I got to know a short man as a friend and developed feelings for him I would probably overlook it, but I wouldn't be initially attracted to a short man or choose to go on a date with one.

DH is 6 foot and I love his height. He is tall and big built and i'm small and short. I remember when he first saw me stand up and he was shocked at how small I am and I loved him towering over me.

I might be shallow, but i'm sure there are plenty of men out there who wouldn't want to date me if I was single based on not being very curvy, having tiny boobs, being full of lipomas and a whole host of physical attributes.

Original poster
DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 23:37

I'm chatting to a short guy on POF. I'm enjoying the conversation. Thing is, 5'7'' means 5'5'' doesn't it?

Noo don't tell me this!

OP posts:
Springiscoming123 · 15/01/2018 23:41

ha ha its not my ex your speaking to,said on his profile 5,7 but was 5,5

Sallystyle · 15/01/2018 23:43

Absolutely. The same with fatties or gingers, right! Wheelchair users?

Well, my first husband was ginger but I wouldn't date someone who was massively overweight. Sorry, it just isn't something I find attractive.

Am I meant to feel bad about that?

Bellamuerte · 15/01/2018 23:52

You're allowed to have whatever preferences you like and so is everyone else. Height is a pretty common preference. There was a reeearch study that said something like in order to be rated as equally attractive a man has to earn an extra 10k to compensate for every inch he lacks in height. The only way they were able to convince the women to choose the very shortest men in the line-up was to tell them that all the others were convicted criminals. Sucks if you're a short man!

My personal preference is 6ft minimum. Many women seem to pick that as a cut-off. I'd still consider dating a shorter man but he'd probably have to impress me a lot more to overcome his lack of height.

PickAChew · 15/01/2018 23:53

DH is ginger. Not a problem. It doesn't change how snuggling feels, for a start.

Gladiola44 · 15/01/2018 23:54

I think being the same height is best of all as the hugs are so much more close and it’s so comfortable for kissing!

It wouldn’t even occur to me to be bothered if a man was shorter than me though as I don’t have any insecurity in that area. I also don’t see how short, slim men can be anything like young boys — what a bizarre statement.

Tom Cruise, Michael J. Fox, Daniel Radcliffe, Alan Ladd and so on are all handsome men who are/were never hard up for dates, despite not being tall. I really think it makes no difference.

Busybeesbutt · 16/01/2018 00:09

Zac Efron is 5 foot 8 and bloody gorgeous

M00nUnit · 16/01/2018 00:10

I always thought I wanted a tall man or at least someone taller than me (I'm 5'8") then I met my DH (5'6") at age 37 and fell totally in love with him. Made me realise how silly I was in the past to be so fussy about height. When I did OLD I always avoided shorter men, which was daft really.

To be honest I try to avoid wearing really high heeled shoes when I'm out with my DH but that's more for him than for me. He's a bit self-conscious about his height whereas it doesn't bother me. I think he's really sexy!

user1491678180 · 16/01/2018 00:12

A man who says he is 5 ft 7 is almost certainly 5 ft 5, even 5 ft 4.

If he was ACTUALLY 5 ft 7, he would be stating he is 5 ft 9.

Don't know what it is about men being tall, but they are instantly more appealing if they are around 5 ft 9 to 6 ft 3. Many women prefer tall men, and many men prefer to be tall. I know that taller men are more successful in careers, and usually more successful with women. I also know a few short men who are arsey bastards with an attitude problem. Definitely short man syndrome.

But these are the ones who have a huge problem with being short!

Not ALL short men are like this of course, but some. And I do agree that some short men have not let their lack of height affect their lives.

Men who are shorter tend to fare better if they are good looking. Basically men who are not blessed with good looks, AND are short, don't have the easiest life.

overnightangel · 16/01/2018 00:20

“My personal preference is 6ft minimum. Many women seem to pick that as a cut-off”

No some really that I know
How very odd

MrsDilber · 16/01/2018 00:46

Tom Hardy is 5' 9" - just saying.

user1491678180 · 16/01/2018 01:19

@mrsdilber

Tom Hardy is 5' 9". Just saying.

5' 9" isn't short though.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 16/01/2018 04:25

5.8's not short! And as you say, you're overweight...unless you're massively big, why would you appear giant-like beside him?

These threads always make me feel worried for the Mothers of smaller boys. Height isn't that important.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 16/01/2018 04:26

User no...but previous poster was saying many women see 6.ft as a cut off.

mirandasings · 16/01/2018 08:01

Yeah but it IS online dating so he's probably actually only 5"6! Grin

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 16/01/2018 08:11

Not all men lie about their height (probably loads do though [grin[)

dusk

Going to be completely honest here

I didn't really notice now dh was 2 inches shorter (knew he was short but not that short...I probably slouched when i was younger)

But now i out weigh him by 2 stone i really notice that i look massive compared to him in photos etc...doesnt help that my children are shorter either (partly age, both boys will be taller than him eventually)

But i really didn't notice for years...for me it was the weight gain that made the difference

MaidOfStars · 16/01/2018 08:13

I’m not immediately attracted to short men (5’10’’ ish or below). But I have become attracted to men who are short and it no longer mattered, IYSWIM.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 16/01/2018 08:13

Oh stupid grin

Grin
INeedToEat · 16/01/2018 08:21

I'm 5' 10.5" and have dated men from 5'6" to 6'7". Height doesn't bother me. However, what I will say is that by dating very tall men I've learnt how others may feel intimidated by my height which has felt useful.

ShatnersWig · 16/01/2018 08:31

I know women who are 5ft 4 and refuse to date anyone less than 6ft.

As a man, I don't care how tall or short someone is. I either find them attractive or not but height isn't part of that for me.

sixteenapples · 16/01/2018 08:32

WattdeEll - me too. My son worries himself sick about being small - and the very nasty girls in his class don't help.

Preference is preference. I don't fancy X for a number of reasons, one may or may not be height - nor he me - fair enough. But saying "all short men are unattractive" is horrible.

(I know the OP is talking specifics in this case)