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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shorter men

274 replies

DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 16:04

I'm 5'8 and I'm chatting to a really nice guy online but he's also 5'8. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit put off? I'm a bit overweight and feel like I'd look like a beast next to him!

OP posts:
Jaygee61 · 19/01/2018 13:19

I get that Havethetshirt.

What I don't get is women of average or below average height who simply won't look at a man under 6ft tall.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/01/2018 13:29

RoseWhiteTips I think that's exactly the point that chesty was making.

My current DP is 5'8" and jam packed with gorgeousness. My exDP was 6'6" and a wanker. I don't think either of them are like they are because of their height.

misspetite · 19/01/2018 13:54

I'm petite and I hate short men.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/01/2018 14:10

Well missPetite lets hope that the tall men you meet aren't as narrow minded as you then

Because I hate Hmm vaccuous people

How can you say you hate all short men. You sound really horrible

DusktilDawn · 19/01/2018 15:13

misspetite you sound delightful

OP posts:
CharizMa · 19/01/2018 17:02

Tall men can have their pick so d9nt get old or fat.

CharizMa · 19/01/2018 17:04

Chestylarue, i know, i am bored before i even meet the men whose profiles say 6'1" and nothing else

DaphneduM · 19/01/2018 17:06

Miss Petite, my lovely (short) husband always avoided 'petite' women and their issues - too much like hard work, he believed!!!!!

RoseWhiteTips · 19/01/2018 20:46

One point about some short men is that they seems to have more of an aggressive quality than taller men. Perhaps they feel they need to be in order to prove themselves.

RoseWhiteTips · 19/01/2018 20:46

...they seem

CharizMa · 20/01/2018 00:57

That is not true of the short men in my family. They're all very calm, respectful etc.

Being a knob is a big ego low self-esteem thing.

And yeh, probably when you're written off by women for being small it doesn't help your self esteem. But the two don't go hand in hand.

Tmgc123 · 20/01/2018 01:02

My ex housemate was nearly 6ft and told me I should leave the tall guys for the tall girls... fair point ;)

I personally find tall guys unattractive and find a tall guy/short woman a bit weird. I’d hate to date someone massive, it would feel imbalanced.

My oh is 5’6” like me, sometimes I’m taller, sometimes he is. He’s also bloody gorgeous and I love his height 😜

stopgap · 20/01/2018 01:20

Just curious, is anyone actually attracted to shorter men, or do you feel that your now short partner’s other qualities made up for lacking in the height department?

I’m a smidgen over 5’7 and am really attracted to men 5’7-5’9. But I would say this is fairly unusual. Most of my friends simply won’t date anyone under 6-feet tall.

Tmgc123 · 20/01/2018 01:39

Yes, I am actively attracted to shorter men. Don’t know why but I love them 😜

DusktilDawn · 20/01/2018 12:03

So he told me he's not ready for a relationship and that he feels numb from his break up.

Kinda gutted but oh well.

OP posts:
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 20/01/2018 12:05

I've also been out with a few shorter men...stocky ones appeal.

5.10 is my usual cut off...I've never been out with a man shorter than me...they're usually about 5.8 or so.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/01/2018 12:12

Aww that's a damn shame op. But at least he was honest. Makes you wonder why he's on a dating site though

hevonbu · 20/01/2018 12:22

Average height for a man in the UK is 5 ft 9. To describe men who are 5 ft 10 ish or below as short is patently ridiculous. That'd be like a bloke saying "I'm not immediately attracted to fat women (size 12 or above)".

This explains a lot, I've just realised 50% to go off my list of options, given they'd have to be taller, that I'm probably ridiculous, and on top of it I'm also considered "fat".

Tmgc123 · 20/01/2018 12:42

I know it’s crazy! I class my partner at 5’6” short, but I would say 5’8” and above is normal, 6ft is tall, like properly tall. As mentioned in 5’6-5’7” myself so not a short lady. I’m glad my partner is short because aside from the fact that I find that attractive, if he was tall he’d have been snapped up long ago 🤣

QueenFrosta · 20/01/2018 12:52

I think more of us fancy short men than we know. Famous men tend to be shorter than average. Tall actors are quite rare. I quite fancy Eminem and he can't be any taller than 5'7". I walked past Benedict Cumberbatch in a hotel lobby and he had that actor look, shorter than you'd expect with a large head.

inmyshoos · 23/01/2018 09:49

Oh no dusk was just coming back on to see how it was progressing. Sorry it's not great news. But onwards and upwards. Proof that there are nice guys put there? Short or otherwise Wink

MrSiegel · 26/01/2018 15:15

Having followed a link to another thread, I got sucked in and eventually ended up reading this one. I thought I would add my two penn'orth as a shortarsed bloke.

I'm not offended if someone doesn't fancy short men. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. It's not a conscious choice. It's partly culture and partly biology. May as well be offended that the sun rises in the morning.

For the parents worried about their short boys - I wouldn't fret. They'll be OK. There probably will be a significant proportion of the female population who don't find them attractive for that reason - well, so what? How many women will they meet in a lifetime, and of those what proportion do they need to fancy them? It may make things a little harder, particularly when they are younger (I think because it makes them appear younger), it may rule out some relationships which would otherwise be perfectly matched, but them's the breaks. There are roughly equal numbers of men and women, they eventually form long term relationships, those left single reassess their priorities and pair up. The important thing - actually for any young man - is to know that whether or not someone else wants to sleep with them is a terrible basis for a person's self esteem. Nobody is entitled to a relationship, but most people do eventually want a family life, whether that's just as a couple or with kids, and as a result most people do eventually get it.

As for OLD - well, I tried it recently, in my forties, and had got the impression from what I'd read that I'd be immediately filtered out (I'm 5'6 and didn't lie - what's the point?). That hasn't been my experience. I've not been single since my twenties, but something has changed since then. Perhaps OLD is just more efficient at putting people together. Perhaps I come across better in text than stood at a bar. Perhaps my face looks less like a melted welly than it used to (unlikely). Perhaps women my age have different priorities than they did 20 years ago, or all the tall dateable guys are taken or chasing women 20 years their junior. Whatever. Doesn't matter. There has been absolutely no shortage of women choosing to make contact. They're my age +/- 6 years or so, they mostly have kids, they're mostly 5'7 or shorter. And that's all fine by me. I'm not looking for hook-ups (it's not that kind of dating site) so it takes some time and effort to get to know people and like everyone else my free time is limited. No doubt I am being filtered out by many because of my height, but it's really no skin off my nose. They like what they like, and I hope they find it. Meanwhile, I'll find someone who likes me - in fact I think I already have.

amusedbush · 26/01/2018 15:34

I’d hate to date someone massive, it would feel imbalanced.

I like it! I'm a peep under 5' 5 and DH is 6' 3. I like cuddling up to someone so much bigger than me Grin

Tmgc123 · 26/01/2018 15:41

Haha @amusedbush... to each their own! That’s what makes life interesting 😜

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