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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shorter men

274 replies

DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 16:04

I'm 5'8 and I'm chatting to a really nice guy online but he's also 5'8. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit put off? I'm a bit overweight and feel like I'd look like a beast next to him!

OP posts:
Jaygee61 · 15/01/2018 20:31

It just seems incredibly shallow to me to be put off someone who might make a wonderful partner just because you’re a bit taller than him in heels.

itsbetterthanabox · 15/01/2018 20:32

No I don’t have any specific preferences. I get to know people as individuals and grow to be attracted to some. They can all look completely different.
I also question this just being your opinion. Why do so many men and women feel the exact same way? We are told from being girls that attractive men are tall.

grasspigeons · 15/01/2018 20:35

I often think it would be nice to see eye to eye and surely the bits all line up better in bed

CharizMa · 15/01/2018 20:35

is liking cats a good thing or a bad thing OP?
I'm terrified of cats. They're like huge spiders to me

Jaygee61 · 15/01/2018 20:36

We are told from being girls that attractive men are tall.

I don’t remember being told that.

overnightangel · 15/01/2018 20:40

Talking nonsense @itsbetterthanabox

itsbetterthanabox · 15/01/2018 20:46

@overnightangel
How so?

crazycatgal · 15/01/2018 20:46

I'm 5'3 and was once asked out by a friend the same height as me, I didn't fancy him anyway but I didn't want to be with someone as short as me - we would have looked like the borrowers.

I've dated men that were slightly on the shorter side at around 5'7 and never had a problem with dating them.

Marylou62 · 15/01/2018 20:50

I was sitting on a bar stool...got chatted up by a lovely man.. definitely a spark...got up and found I was at least 8 in taller! (he is quite stocky tho not skinny) Have been married to him for 27 years now...3 kids.. but I do understand the feeling like a beast tho..I have always been a big curvy girl but had a nasty accident recently, gave up smoking and gone through a s**t menopause..I have put on approx. 3 stone in a year and HATE it..not so much the weight it self, just that I feel HUGE next to him...Luckily he loves me!

Llangollen · 15/01/2018 20:50

WattdeEll

don't worry too much about it! Even if all women preferred taller men - and that's not even the case - there are plenty of less tall women! At worst your son can move, people in the South are less tall than in the North: walk in a Spanish street and compare with a Swedish one. The average height is not the same at all.

Original poster
DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 20:51

Chariz it's a good thing, I love cats.

Sorry, l laughed out loud at the giant spiders comment Grin

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 15/01/2018 20:53

be careful some men say heir 5ft7 but are shorter

^

Indeed Grin

halfwitpicker · 15/01/2018 20:54

I do like men who are tall enough to kind of 'stoop'

Not in a geriatric kind of way though, tbf Grin

Friedgreen · 15/01/2018 20:55

I’ve always preferred men my height or shorter. I’m 5 7. My DH is probably the tallest man I’ve dated and he’s almost 5 9. Best thing to do is not have a height hang up, meet a variety of men, and play it by ear.

AmberTopaz · 15/01/2018 21:02

My mum is 3 inches taller than my dad and they’ve been happily married for nearly 50 years!

AmberTopaz · 15/01/2018 21:02

My mum is 3 inches taller than my dad and they’ve been happily married for nearly 50 years!

user1491678180 · 15/01/2018 22:47

@ISpentTheDayInBed

The Christmas episode of Mrs Brown's Boys (I'm embarrassed to admit it!) was quite funny. The Cathy character met a guy on OLD who turned out to be about 4ft tall!

It IS funny. Why are you embarrassed to admit you watched it?!

And that episode was brilliant! I don't know why people give it such a hard time. You often find that the people who bash it have never even watched it, and are jumping on the 'Let's slag off Mrs Brown's Boys Bandwagon' to fit in with their peers.

Re height, me personally, I would not like a man shorter than me, and especially 6 inches shorter like one poster said above; (she is 6 foot and he is 5 ft 6!) And another poster who is EIGHT inches taller than her husband!!! I think a couple look odd, if the man is more than 2 or 3 inches shorter than the woman.

JMHO.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 15/01/2018 22:52

Nope, you can be as picky as you like. I won't even consider anyone less than 4 inches taller than me

StandardRussian66 · 15/01/2018 22:55

I have a looong list of turn offs!

Original poster
DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 23:00

I really like this guy so far so will definitely go on a date with him. His height alone isn't enough to put me off.

OP posts:
Joey7t8 · 15/01/2018 23:06

You can’t fake sexual attraction. Whatever the OP finds physically attractive is her own choice. I don’t understand why so many people are giving her a hard time.

LightDrizzle · 15/01/2018 23:07

I’m a short-arse who isn’t attracted to other short-arses, I do wonder whether it’s biological and we are looking for “tall genes” in the hope of producing less stumpy offspring.
I think the idea that tall = better for men remains quite pervasive, certainly a lot of men lie about their height. DH is a shrinking 6ft 1”, but he has so many 6ft” or “around” 6ft friends who are very visibly inches smaller than him. I think it’s the equivalent of the 24 inch waist amongst women of my mother’s generation.

CharizMa · 15/01/2018 23:18

I'm chatting to a short guy on POF. I'm enjoying the conversation. Thing is, 5'7'' means 5'5'' doesn't it? :-/

PickAChew · 15/01/2018 23:19

I'm 5'4 and. DH 5'10 and he doesn't feel taller than me.

My first long term boyfriend was my height. He was a bit of a prick, tbh. My first husband was well over 6'. He was just a big prick.

PickAChew · 15/01/2018 23:19

And not literally. They were both the same in the bedroom department.