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Original poster

Shorter men

274 replies

DusktilDawn · 15/01/2018 16:04

I'm 5'8 and I'm chatting to a really nice guy online but he's also 5'8. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit put off? I'm a bit overweight and feel like I'd look like a beast next to him!

OP posts:
tatree · 15/01/2018 17:23

I know it's shallow and I have no reason why but it would put me off. I've never been attracted to a man who was this same height or shorter than me. My mum is 6ft and taller than my dad so I have no idea why I feel like this!

Iprefercoffeetotea · 15/01/2018 17:32

People being heightist really annoy me. It's the last bastion of acceptable discrimination of something people cannot change. Either you are tall, average or small and there's nothing you can do about it. So why judge people for it?

It is well known that small people are less likely to be taken seriously in the workplace, as well as be less able to get dates.

crackerjacket · 15/01/2018 17:33

If I was single I could not date men shorter than me.

Im only 5'5 though, so its actually unlikely anyway.

crackerjacket · 15/01/2018 17:36

And its the build too obviously that's important.

I went on a date with a guy who was my height, but his hands were smaller than mine.

Just no, no, no.

streetlife70s · 15/01/2018 17:45

@mailto

I’m assuming that’s sarcasm. I would never call people ‘fatties’ not have an issue with people with red hair or in wheelchairs. Equally I’d never force myself or tell anyone else they are ‘shallow’ because the sexual attraction wasn’t there for any reason. It can’t be forced. Does that really make someone nasty because they don’t want sexual contact with someone because they don’t fancy them? Hmm

streetlife70s · 15/01/2018 17:49

Discrimination and sexual attraction really should not be put in the same catagory.

Is it sexist to only find men attractive? Or ageist to find anyone over 70 sexually unattractive? Berating people for not fancying others and calling is ‘discrimination’ is way off.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/01/2018 17:49

My ex bf/current FWB is 5'2, it doesn't bother me at all but it bothers other people and they don't wish to date someone short, that's fine.

MissWilmottsGhost · 15/01/2018 18:01

I'm 5'6" and taller than DH. TBH its never put me off him.

Some short men do have ishoos about it, and that is a huge turn off. My XP was 5'8" with a massive napoleon complex, DH is shorter but is quite happy with being a little guy, so has no insecurities about it. DH always enjoys it when I wear heels and lean on his shoulder because it puts his eyes at boob height Grin

AuntyElle · 15/01/2018 18:09

DistanceCall, that sounds fine. Everyone is allowed to have preferences in attraction.

Llangollen · 15/01/2018 18:12

Enjoy you date!

You can't force yourself to find someone - or a certain type of men - attractive. I don't know why the height is so important, but I've never been attracted to a man who isn't taller than me when I am wearing high heels.
That's fine, I don't expect all males on the planet to find me attractive either!

It's worth meeting the guy, sometimes you do have a type but end up with someone completely different and you live happily ever after with him.

waterfall0119 · 15/01/2018 18:14

I’m 5’6, I personally wouldn’t be attracted to anyone shorter than me because I don’t like feeling like a giant or unfeminine.
Saying that, I have dated men in between 5’7 and 6’4 (DH is 6’2)
Would have done Prince back in the day as well but that’s an exception Grin

stevie69 · 15/01/2018 18:16

I tend to be taken with men around the 5'9" ish (I'm 5' 7"). Height's never going to be a deal breaker for me, but I do prefer slightly shorter than average men.

But, in answer to your question, dating/friendship is the last bastion of freedom. You can refuse anyone, on any basis, without comeback—although I'm sure that it'll fall within the cofines of the Equality Act, given time!

Llangollen · 15/01/2018 18:16

I went on a date with a guy who was my height, but his hands were smaller than mine.
Just no, no, no.

Why is that! I totally get it, I don't know why it put me off so much - and I am not that small.

I don't like men with hair longer than mine either unless it's Jason Momoa but there's only one of him

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 15/01/2018 18:23

Well I'm 5' 7" & tend to wear pretty high heels when I go out so if I ruled out men based on them being shorter than me in them I'm pretty sure I'd be missing a lot of the male population...
DH is 5' 8" so lucky I didn't have that attitude Wink

Llangollen · 15/01/2018 18:27

I am 5'76'' and a bit Grin never been an issue!

Jaygee61 · 15/01/2018 18:30

Heightism really annoys me. If a man says he wouldn’t date anyone bigger than a size 8 there would be outrage.

donquixotedelamancha · 15/01/2018 18:32

The same with fatties or gingers, right! Wheelchair users?

Does that really make someone nasty because they don’t want sexual contact with someone because they don’t fancy them?

Certainly, you fancy who you fancy, but I think excluding broad groups for shallow reasons is a sign of some prejudice. I knew a lass who would only date white men and made the same arguments made here to explain her preference.

The OP is challenging her preconceptions and willing to treat this bloke as a person- that's all any of us can do.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/01/2018 18:34

It's not heightist, it's preference, you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone.

Tisfortired · 15/01/2018 18:36

Before I met DP I would not even entertain the idea of dating somebody less than 6ft (and I'm only 5'5!)

Then I met DP who is 5'7 and he knocked my socks off and I just did not care about his height at all. Whatsoever.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 15/01/2018 18:39

It's not heightist, it's preference, you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone

Exactly. I’m sure a lot of men do say they wouldn’t date anyone bigger than a size X. I haven’t noted any outrage. Obviously, if you’re super picky then you’re limiting your options somewhat, but it isn’t outrageous to have a preference. Different if someone said they refused to work with someone who was too big / small etc.

GinisLife · 15/01/2018 18:39

There's is always the old saying - they're all the same lying down 😂😂😂

tillytoodles1 · 15/01/2018 18:40

I'm a foot shorter than my H, he's 6'4 and I'm 5'4. Our son is over 6ft and his fiancee is 5ft. On the other hand our daughter is 5'9 in her stocking feet and when she wears heels she's over 6 ft tall. Her fiance is about 5'9. She's wearing flats for her wedding as she doesn't want to be taller than him and DIL to be wears massive heels so she doesn't look so short.

Arthur2shedsJackson · 15/01/2018 18:43

I had a beloved ex who was several inches shorter than me, but who maintained that all men were the same height with their cocks on their heads..........

MagicWillHappen · 15/01/2018 18:51

Is it sexist to only find men attractive? Or ageist to find anyone over 70 sexually unattractive? Berating people for not fancying others and calling is ‘discrimination’ is way off

This.

Personally I find tall men attractive and am not really attracted to short men. Dh is 6'1 and I'm 5'5, 5'9 in my tallest heels. If I was single and looking at dating profiles I'd probably limit it to 5'11 and above.

bingbongnoise · 15/01/2018 18:56

I am 5 ft 5 ish and DH is 5 ft 10, but tbh it wouldn't bother me if a man was the same height or shorter than me (well maybe a max of 2-3 inches...) My dad was small-ish (5 ft 4,) and he never ever had a problem with it. The ladies loved him! Smile

He was a real charmer and women fell over themselves to chat to him! He looked a bit like Brad Pitt facially (I'm not kidding,) with a full head of wavy hair and a cheeky smile.

My mother was 5 ft 5, and it never bothered her that he was shorter. It only bothered her that he was flirty! Not much though, as he really loved her, and she looked a bit like Liz Taylor, so she was never short of male attention.. Smile

So I think a man being short is only a problem if you make it a problem.

You are within your rights to be put off though @dusktildawn, just as a man is within his rights to be put off if a woman is overweight. (Not a dig by the way; just saying.)

My (female) friend is 5 ft 9, and she said it would be a dealbreaker if a man was shorter than her, even by an inch. She said she wouldn't care if he was a bit ugly facially, and a bit boring, as long as he is at least 6 feet tall. Shock

Personally, I would rather have a man who has an attractive face and personality, and is 2 inches shorter. But each to their own.

I also know several men who don't care what a woman's face is like as long as she is skinny. As I said, each to their own.