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AIBU?

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AIBU This is so heart breaking! **Thread contains article about Poppi Worthington - title edited by MNHQ**

322 replies

Meadowflowers · 15/01/2018 12:32

How can this man be getting away with this. What a beautiful baby and her life is now over because of that monster!.
I've been in tears this morning reading it. In fact I couldn't finish reading it. What is the system coming to???

OP posts:
mirime · 18/01/2018 23:14

And didn't go to find out why her child was screaming?

Because she thought she was safe with her father? I don't go running everytime I hear DS cry out if I know he's safe with DH or my DPs.

Can we please stop blaming the mother here. The best mother in the world wouldn't necessarily know that her child was being abused. Poppi's mother was a vulnerable person but from the facts I've seen it doesn't look to me like she was abusive. Of course we can't know for sure and it's unlikely we ever will.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 19/01/2018 11:52

The report doesn't suggest ongoing sexual abuse. The injuries were attributed to that one occasion with an absence of any physical evidence which would suggest it happening previously.

So what was the mother supposed to know?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2018 14:30

She wasnt under social services Enthusiasm every single professional who came into contact with her described her as coping not one reported any concerns documented any issues or raised anything other than large young family (repeat pregnancies) after the event. She hadn’t had involvement with social services since baby 2.

user764329056 · 19/01/2018 14:33

How can any mother not NOTICE her child has fractures?

Clawdy · 19/01/2018 14:37

Exactly, user

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 19/01/2018 14:46

The fractures continue to be a bit of a mystery. That they occurred in a young premobile child is unusual and that they weren't spotted is even more so. Poppi did have contact with other people and nobody seems to have been aware of her being in pain. And nobody who has spent time with Poppi's mother, including the police and judges, seems to have any serious concern that she was either implicated in or wilfully ignored the fractures. She had her hands full, but she was never viewed as neglectful or as not caring for her children.

RoseWhiteTips · 19/01/2018 14:56

A child with a fractured arm would cry fgs - especially when being dressed and so on. I have experienced the pain of a fracture as an adult and it was excruciating until it was put into plaster. Obviously.

That no one noticed the child was in pain is frankly unbelievable.

RoseWhiteTips · 19/01/2018 14:56

Or fractures...Sad

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2018 18:03

As I said upthread one of my kids had a accident in School during the first lesson of the day he spent the entire day in School having seen the on site medical staff (private special needs School so doctor and nurse) and obviously school staff (so social workers teachers as well as other support staff).
I took him to a&e after school because of the head injury and a sudden bad headache turns out he had several fractures and no he gave no indication of this with his behaviour

BashStreetKid · 19/01/2018 18:24

How can any mother not NOTICE her child has fractures?

If you've been on MN any length of time, you must have seen a number of threads where people post to say that they weren't aware of their children't broken bones for some time. I remember one where the OP as feeling dreadful because she hadn't, and several people posted to say they'd done the same. It's even easier not to notice in a child who isn't walking.

We all assume that it would have been obvious from Poppi's reactions, but we really don't know anything about it - and again we come up against the fact that no-one else noticed, either. It might simply be that there were medical reasons why she didn't feel pain or didn't communicate that she did.

Clawdy · 19/01/2018 19:33

Maybe with an older child a fracture would possibly be unnoticed, but a baby who is usually carried, picked up, nappy changed, cuddled......showing no pain with a fracture? Unbelievable, I'm afraid.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2018 19:41

A baby at about the right age for lots of yelling each time you leave the room, teeth coming through and being incredibly wobbly so lots of minor bumps that cause drama with them.

Clawdy · 19/01/2018 19:46

Sorry, that is rubbish. People desperately insisting the mother is beyond criticism.

Nicknacky · 19/01/2018 19:48

But missed fractures do happen. Christ I know someone who worked in child protection and she missed her own kids fracture!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2018 19:55

Based on the evidence we have access to directly relating to her child’s death, she is blameless and it’s pretty piss poor that she’s being blamed for his conduct

Clawdy · 19/01/2018 20:01

Not blaming her for his conduct - blaming her for her own conduct.

BashStreetKid · 19/01/2018 22:38

Why are people on here so insistent that they know more about the mother's conduct than the courts?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/01/2018 23:11

There was a review where a number of agencies who overlooked her situation and background had been called into question as to why they had not intervened more this was reported a few years ago

she was such a vulnerable young woman who had grown up having been abused herself with seven children who comes form an extremely dysfunctional family would be able to give a life to her children that they deserve

It’s not putting the blame on her she there should have been more as involvement especially when she was involved with a much older man who was known to police

Clawdy · 19/01/2018 23:22

Still nobody has explained why she was sleeping downstairs?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/01/2018 23:25

Maybe she was having a nap or had fallen asleep watching TV

I’m sure we have all done that at some point

Clawdy · 19/01/2018 23:27

People on here are desperately finding excuses for her.

Nicknacky · 19/01/2018 23:30

And some people are also desperate to claim she is guilty.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2018 23:40

There was a review where a number of agencies who overlooked her situation and background had been called into question as to why they had not intervened more this was reported a few years ago

I posted the link to the SCR a few days ago I’m guessing that’s what your referring to.
Actually go read it.
Her situation was childhood abuse -care leaver.
repeated pregnancies
6 Children.

Other than the first point which was pretty much negated by the finding of the court with baby 2 and the no further issues raised and her appearing to be coping, the other two issue are not grounds for involvement without actual additional concerns.
Unless he was known by the police for domestic abuse or child abuse or offences likely to place her/children at risk then regardless of her age if she’s past the age of consent and able to then that is also not grounds for further involvement in the absence of any reported issues.

And fwiw why shouldn’t she sleep downstairs if I recall correctly she was downstairs with another child who was possibly unwell

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/01/2018 23:44

Here’s the link again www.cumbria.gov.uk/eLibrary/Content/Internet/537/6683/7080/4253494137.pdf

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/01/2018 23:58

Yes it was that ine

Again are you really going to fool ourselves into believing she was a competent enough parent to give her children the life they deserve her life was chaos what support did she have

Ffs her life was chaotic sadly just right for someone like like PW to walk into she was let down her children were let down

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