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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel very annoyed about this?

279 replies

Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:27

I have a WhatsApp group with 6 of my closest friends who I’ve known since school. One of them posted on it this morning saying

“my name looks a state in her Facebook photos from last night. Why does she feel the need to wear such hideous clothes all the time”.

It was obviously meant to be sent to someone else from the group, and not the whole group. My name is very unusual so she was definitely talking about me, and I also posted some new photos on FB last night.
I sent her a message saying “Thanks for that” and she’s just replied saying “my mistake but don’t start making a song and dance out of it as I was only joking”.

We have been friends for 20 years and I thought we would have grown out of being bitchy by now. I feel really crap knowing one of my best friends has been making fun of me

OP posts:
JamPasty · 14/01/2018 12:37

Blinking heck that's horrible. She is NOT a friend

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 14/01/2018 12:38

Did anyone else comment?

peachypetite · 14/01/2018 12:39

So awkward. What have the others done/commented?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/01/2018 12:39

She's not a friend; and any of the others that had to "grow out" of being bitchy aren't, either.

I'm sorry you saw that, though Thanks

Unicorndiscoball · 14/01/2018 12:39

She’s horrible and is not your friend.

youarenotkiddingme · 14/01/2018 12:41

What a cow Shock

That's deliberate and targeted piss taking which is the same as bullying.

She set out to comment on something rather than responding to someone asking her her opinion iyswim?

I'd be tempted to add a comment on the group "I won't make a song and dance out of it because I'm far more mature than you. But consider it friendship over." Then attach a definition of bullying by link.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 14/01/2018 12:41

"My mistake" but also "I was joking"?

Fucking bitch, drop her.

Anythingforacatslife · 14/01/2018 12:42

She clearly wasn’t ‘only joking’! What a bitch, I would consider her an ex-friend now and tell her on the WhatsApp group exactly why!

Bossbaby12 · 14/01/2018 12:42

That is horrendous! I can't believe she's basically told you not to make it into an issue because she's 'joking'.YANBU whatsoever.

Snowysky20009 · 14/01/2018 12:43

Sorry but she's an ex friend.

If she thought you didn't look good in clothes, why not kindly tell you that a long time ago.

Or actually scrap that, a true friend accepts you regardless of how you look and doesn't bitch about you.

Cornettoninja · 14/01/2018 12:43

Wow, she's got some front to get on the defensive so quickly and try and minimise it.

The best thing to do would be to stone wall her and avoid (in a group that's harder I know) but I don think I could let it go. She doesn't even have the decency to be embarrassed and apologetic!

BulletFox · 14/01/2018 12:44

No, that's extremely bitchy.

Silly cahhh

alittlepieceofme · 14/01/2018 12:44

She's jealous of you in some way! Job, looks, life in general! You should pity her!

Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:44

Everyone In the group has read it and one person posted a ? and that’s it. They probably all feel terribly awkward (unless they are all in on it too and regularly bitch about me)

OP posts:
Situp · 14/01/2018 12:45

Her reaction is so typical of someone who has been caught out and immediately goes on the offenaive, trying to make you feel that you would be in the wrong if you overreacted.

If a real friend had said something tactless and accidentally shared it with you this is not what their reaction would be. Their prime concern would be having hurt your feelings.

She is not a friend. You don't need her in your life

Tipsntoes · 14/01/2018 12:45

Have any of the others been in touch with you? Obviously, she's a nasty piece of work but also, there's a person she intended to send it to where she expected it to be well received.

These message groups terrify me. I have two "secret" ones at the moment where partners are planning surprises. They both contain mainly the same people and I'm really scared that I'll be the one to mess everything up by posting something to the wrong group

Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:45

I have a hippy/boho style but always have done since she first knew me at school. Feel really let down as i’d never take the piss out of a close friend for how they dress (or anyone for that matter)

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:46

@tips one has messaged me asking if I’m ok. The others haven’t but I’m guessing they probably don’t want to be involved so are trying to stay out of it

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 14/01/2018 12:47

What a dick.
Drop her like a hot rock, especially after the shitty, non-apologetic answer. Life is too short for crap like that.
Hope your other mates stick up for you.

Alessandrocopper · 14/01/2018 12:47

I would struggle to say that about a person I didn't like. If someone said that to me about a shared friend I would remove them from my life. She's probably jealous or threatened by you but whatever, nobody needs these friends in their life. Shit Can her.

YourDaughter · 14/01/2018 12:47

Think I’d be replying, my mistake, but don’t make a song and dance when you get caught being such a two-faced “friend”.

No need to call names, but I’d be calling her out on this; it’s not ok even as a joke. She’s being spiteful simply for the joy of it.

RoseWhiteTips · 14/01/2018 12:47

Your style sounds cool.

Sparklesocks · 14/01/2018 12:48

She’s getting snappy with you as she knows she fucked up, and rather than act like an adult and apologise she’s going on the offensive to save face.

Let her stew, accept nothing less than a real apology. What have your other friends said?

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 14/01/2018 12:48

Remove yourself from the group (add a message stating why first) then block the nasty bitch.
Carry on as usual with the others.

Tinkie25 · 14/01/2018 12:48

How awful. She is definitely not your friend.