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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel very annoyed about this?

279 replies

Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:27

I have a WhatsApp group with 6 of my closest friends who I’ve known since school. One of them posted on it this morning saying

“my name looks a state in her Facebook photos from last night. Why does she feel the need to wear such hideous clothes all the time”.

It was obviously meant to be sent to someone else from the group, and not the whole group. My name is very unusual so she was definitely talking about me, and I also posted some new photos on FB last night.
I sent her a message saying “Thanks for that” and she’s just replied saying “my mistake but don’t start making a song and dance out of it as I was only joking”.

We have been friends for 20 years and I thought we would have grown out of being bitchy by now. I feel really crap knowing one of my best friends has been making fun of me

OP posts:
inmyshoos · 14/01/2018 12:50

I think that is awful. What an utter horrible cow. And her response is horrible too. Flowers

Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:51

I’ve just sent her this:

“You may have weird issues about my dress sense, but at least I’m true to myself and am very happy because of it. If you feel miserable about your own life that you have to bitch about close friends like that then you should find yourself a hobby”.

I’ve now blocked her and come out of the group chat. I’m absolutely fuming!!!

OP posts:
Pud2 · 14/01/2018 12:51

What a horrible thing to happen to you. I would rise above it and not engage in further messaging. It's nice that one of your friends has already checked in to see if you're ok. Hopefully the others will be similarly supportive when the awkwardness dies down.

LyraPotter · 14/01/2018 12:52

Fucking hell, what a cow. Bad enough that she did something so bitchy in the first place but even worse is her shitty non-apology. She's already minimising your right to feel hurt by suggesting that if you do you'll be making a song and dance when the absolute least she could have done is offered a heartfelt apology for being a total cow and taken the heat she deserved. I would drop her like a hot potato - you don't need friends who are so disrespectful and unkind.

Also - please don't take her words to heart. Style is very subjective and just because she doesn't like your clothes doesn't mean they're hideous or that you look like a state! She sounds like a bitter cow, and so her views can be discarded 😘

Namechangetempissue · 14/01/2018 12:52

Brilliant work OP, well handled. FlowersStar

Idontdowindows · 14/01/2018 12:57

Yeah, make a new WA group without her in it and see how it goes.

You are definitely not being unreasonable, she's horrible.

RhiannonOHara · 14/01/2018 12:57

Well done, OP. She's not a friend.

JustAnIdiot · 14/01/2018 12:58

You ought to be glad she made the mistake & included you in the bitching - you now know what she's really like a horribly bitchy cowbag

I have a lovely friend who wears some really quirky clothes, often not to my taste at all, but you know? So what! It doesn't affect how I see her as a person.

Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:58

Just got a FB message from her (forgot to block her on that too) and it said “wow have you really just blocked me?! Get a grip!”
I’ve now blocked her on that toon

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 12:58

*too

OP posts:
Figrollsnotfatrolls · 14/01/2018 12:58

Good for you op!! She has messed up big time. But def don't forgive and forget. She ain't worth your time.

BulletFox · 14/01/2018 12:59

Get a grip?? She sounds horrible!

LostInShoebiz · 14/01/2018 13:00

Good for you.

LyraPotter · 14/01/2018 13:02

She knows fine well she has screwed up and because she's too proud and defensive to apologise she's putting the blame on you and making it seem like you are overreacting. You aren't - she has behaved incredibly badly.

Sparklesocks · 14/01/2018 13:03

Sounds like she’s panicking and lashing out. Tells you everything you need to know about her that a) she even said that to begin with but more importantly b) she has no remorse and is unwilling to apologise for being so unhurtful.

Jaxinthebox · 14/01/2018 13:03

she sounds horrid and isnt a friend at all.

She hasnt even apologised to you - because she feels like she has done nothing wrong.

Sparklesocks · 14/01/2018 13:03

*hurtful

Kintan · 14/01/2018 13:04

Wow what a vile individual. Can't believe she is trying to gaslight you into thinking you are the unreasonable one!

MyKingdomForBrie · 14/01/2018 13:05

I cannot believe her reaction!! I’m so sorry you’ve had to find out like this, how horrible for you. Well done on being confident enough to call her on it.

Original poster
Purplerain101 · 14/01/2018 13:06

She usually comments under my pics telling me I look lovely too. What a fake bitch!
It really saddens me when people can’t just be accepting of others who like to be a little different from the norm. I don’t dress in anything too ‘out there’ anyway so I don’t really get why she has such a problem with it.

OP posts:
CornforthWhite · 14/01/2018 13:14

Well done OP you’ve made your feelings clear to her. Just move on with your other friends - you don’t want to try to get them to pick sides. Make sure you protect those friendships by being happy and normal and not bitching about her. She’s going to be pedalling the ‘overreacting’ narrative so don’t play into her hands. So sad but just remember she’s not your friend and isn’t worth it!

IwantalltheDogs · 14/01/2018 13:15

What a horrible person she is. And then to go on the defensive and tell you not to make a song and dance about it, and get a grip?! No personal responsibility taken at all for her massive cock up!

I think you handled it perfectly. Just delete, block and move on. She’s not worth any more effort.

The world would be quite dull if we all wore the same clothes and just walked around like sheeples.

KinkyAfro · 14/01/2018 13:16

You're well rid op, she's not a friend and she sounds bloody awful

Namechangetempissue · 14/01/2018 13:16

Haha, she thinks YOU are the one who needs "a grip" after her desperate facebook message? Brilliant, what a tool.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 14/01/2018 13:18

She is not a friend and I bet you a pound to a pinch of shit she has been bad mouthing you behind your back for years. She has been caught out but it will not have been the first time she has been slagging you off. Dump her, life is way too short to entertain such negative ‘friends’ . As for her opinion on your outfits, that’s subjective, I bet some people think you look amazing. Don’t forget, you’re an adult, you choose your own outfits and friends.