Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Excluded from nephew's wedding

287 replies

mumwhite · 12/01/2018 09:15

Feeling really crap as I found out ( when the invite landed) that we've only been invited to the evening do of my only nephew's wedding. I know it's their day and they can do what they like but I feel really upset about it. They've had lots of opportunties to tell us before now. It's caused a whole rift, and my sister's blaming me. My mother on the other hand agrees with me.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/01/2018 09:30

Woah! It is their wedding. They can have who and what they like.

I don't see what is 'cheeky' or unfair about it!

I too can see why you feel upset, but why cause a rift? How did that happen?

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2018 09:31

Six bridesmaids just means the bride has a lot of friends and if they are paying for their own dresses costs fuck all.

Ops not explained her relationship of her behaviour. Which in itself says a lot.

Merryoldgoat · 12/01/2018 09:31

6 bridesmaids doesn't necessarily cost much - many buy their own dresses and they're usually close friends so would be guests anyway. No extra costs at all.

What does reacting 'in shock and hurt' mean? Does it mean calling other family members and bitching? Angry text messages? Passive aggressive FB posts? What?

Locotion · 12/01/2018 09:31

I wouldn't go. Very rude.

weepingangel12 · 12/01/2018 09:31

OK if it's a 6 bridesmaid do, but an aunt can't be included in the day invitations, then that's off and I'd be hurt too
Maybe aunt has a history of making scenes, after all she won't tell us about this rift and how she started it.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 12/01/2018 09:31

That's completely out of order not to invite a sibling, unless one is nc/had an affair with sibling's partner/padeaophile/abuser of sibling.

Original poster
mumwhite · 12/01/2018 09:32

Ok so I don't see them that often BUT we should have been made aware of the situation before invites went out. An explanation would have saved our feelings. That's not too much to ask is it? Sorry for the confusion - not been on here before.

OP posts:
dancingthroughthedark · 12/01/2018 09:32

Do you have children that you were expecting to be in the wedding party? My son got married recently his aunts, uncles and cousins were only invited to the evening do, They all seemed perfectly happy about that.

weepingangel12 · 12/01/2018 09:32

Why? Hearing on the phone vs hearing on an invite, what is the differnce?

What did you do?

lookingforthecorkscrew · 12/01/2018 09:33

Sorry OP but your nephew owes you nothing, it’s HIS day.

eastlondoner · 12/01/2018 09:33

I think you're being over dramatic about the whole thing to be honest. It's their wedding, their choice.

Original poster
mumwhite · 12/01/2018 09:34

Absolutely NOT.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 12/01/2018 09:35

Why should you have been made aware? Why are you so special? You have said you don't see them much and aren't especially close, therefore I think I'd be more surprised if you'd got a full day invitation.

MotheringMilly · 12/01/2018 09:36

If there has been no family falling out prior to this and it’s not a tiny wedding i.e. parents and a couple of friends only then you have every right to be upset.

I invited one of my uncles to the evening only as he’s not very nice, I only invited him at all as to not upset my nan, as predicted he never came.

It’s unusual, have you asked your sister why you've only been invited to evening?

Original poster
mumwhite · 12/01/2018 09:36

Yes I do. Ok so maybe I am being a bit over the top. It's just we are a small family.

OP posts:
Hont1986 · 12/01/2018 09:36

An aunt they barely see and causes drama at the slightest perceived snub? Gee, I wonder why you weren't top of the invite list.

TeeBee · 12/01/2018 09:37

No, they don't owe you any explanation or justification about who they invite to what part of THEIR wedding. Should you want to actually have any ongoing relationship with your family I would apologize for your overreaction, say 'thank you for the invite, we'll definitely be there and are looking forward to it'. Right now you are acting like a spoilt toddler. If I was them, I'd be regretting inviting you at all.

lookingforthecorkscrew · 12/01/2018 09:37

They can’t afford to feed you OP, it’s probably that simple.

Original poster
mumwhite · 12/01/2018 09:37

Thankyou - someone who understands where I am coming from x

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 12/01/2018 09:37

Why are posters being so hostile? OP is hurt and feeling excluded, she hasn't gone round with a baseball bat demanding an invitation Confused

thethoughtfox · 12/01/2018 09:38

'I'm just really unhappy with the way they have handled things.' Don't make this about you.

weepingangel12 · 12/01/2018 09:39

If your only aunt is not invited to your wedding there is probably a good reason.

Collaborate · 12/01/2018 09:39

It just means you don't need to spend a huge amount on a wedding gift. Look on the bright side. You're not close to them, you don't see them that much, and there are more important people in their lives. Assuming you don't have to travel half way across the country, turn up with a bottle of champagne or a toaster as a gift, stay for an hour, then bugger off somewhere where you'll have more fun.

Nanny0gg · 12/01/2018 09:39

Sigh, I've no idea why people post and refuse to explain themselves.

I do so agree. You can't help if there's no information.

QueenDaisy · 12/01/2018 09:40

Their wedding, they invite who they want & have as many bridesmaids as they want. You have the option to not go to the evening do, you should have just had a moan to your DH about not being invited, not your Mum.