To feel my husbands family are a bit racist

[Winterandspring]

I think racist is probably the wrong word I’m looking for.

I met dh when he’d already been living in England for almost a decade and now we are expecting our first child the attitude is very much that it’s time for him to come ‘home’ now They constantly slag England off, the traffic, the high price of houses. Whenever we are there they stop at houses and shout ‘how much would this set you back in England eh’ and we say £200,000 or whatever and they shout triumphantly how much cheaper it is there! Neither of us like visiting because it’s a faff either flying and hiring a car or expensive ferry trips and they won’t come to us. Plus it’s tense the whole time due to them complaining about England and the schools or trying to shove food on us.

What is worrying me though is I have no support at all and have struggled in this pregnancy. Dh has been making ‘well maybe we could think about’ noises. I would struggle to get work over there and so really my support would be his family, I’d rather not!

I don’t know why I’m posting but there was an argument last night and it’s just been annoying me today.

The food scene in Kinsale is worth a trip!

It’s been years since I’ve been to Ireland, I miss it. I always wanted to live in Ireland, but I fear I’ve left it too late now

It’s not a theory if it’s historical fact.

Where's the best place to visit in Ireland?

Cultural stereotypes are offensive, btw.

And we can assume where you land on the subject by your use of Londonderry.

And we can assume where you land on the subject by your use of Londonderry

I thought the same. It’s always been known as Derry in my family.

Incidentally, Germans and sausages and French and garlic are also offensive stereotypes. Much like Scots and haggis/being stingy/having red hair.

It’s ignorance.

I have a sense the potato thing might be considered a tad offensive because 170 years ago one million people died and another million emigrated because of a famine, and the English, apparently driven by some mad Malthusianism, didn't do anything like as much as they could have done to help.

@Valerion all of it but Cork was my favourite. The beaches are something else!

*Oh, and whatever cunt thinks the potato joke is hilarious; let’s break it down here. The famine was genocide committed by the British. The British who occupied lands and who are still occupying lands

So next time you want to make a joke about the murder of innocent lives, pick the holocaust and see how funny people find it*

Well said.

We may not have council tax, but we did have the Irish Water fiasco, the hated USC levy, got hammered by taxes during the recession, much higher car tax (sister in NI in the same car as me pays £40 pa to tax a car that I pay €191 on. We pay more for the same item from the same shop as UK folk. Our healthcare system, despite us paying for our own GP visits at €60 a go, is still creaking with overcrowding and old folk on trolleys in hospital corridors for days on end. It's practically impossible for a young couple to buy a house here or obtain a mortgage. People returning home from abroad are finding out that insurers tell you that you've lost your no claims bonus even though you had insurance all that time you lived abroad - so they can charge you several thousand for car insurance.

I love Ireland, and love living here but it's not the utopian idyll that your IL's seem to think it is - not for newly arriving /returning families anyway.

I think you need some stock phrases and set up a bingo sheet with your DH to keep you sane during visits.

They probably just do some brain washing trying to move you over there.
They also must be proper culchies living somewhere in total shticks because the houses in and around Dublin are costing fortune right now. I live in the commuter belt and we could sell the house with a huge profit compared to what we bought it for 9 years ago and our mortgage is one third of what a family would pay in rent for a similar house size in Dublin or around here.
Ignore them :)

What isn’t fact?

@bobsharedalink at the risk of starting a riot it is absolutely germane. Someone using the British name for Derry rather than the Irish one is always going to have opinions which are different to someone who doesn’t. Mocking the genocide of over a million people isn’t unambiguous, it’s really awful.

the potato joke is not funny because Irish people died when there was a potato blight while good Irish food was being shipped to England.

I don't think that happened with eg the garlic that you mention..

And whoever refers to 'Londonderry' is just being provocative tbh.

@Madmegs You obviously consider yourself to be British so may not be offended by insults to Irish people. That's absolutely fine if that is what you prefer but do not speak for other Irish people particularly those from the republic.

What???

I'm from Londonderry and couldn't care less. Germans and sausages, French and garlic ... is there really nothing that some people don't think is "really, really offensive"?

Eh no, you're from Derry. Germans don't really appreciate the constant wurst jokes and the French also feel like they have more to offer than garlic and frog legs. Cultural stereotypes can be rather offensive. Like calling someone West Brits, e.g.

It certainly isn't fact either.

It isn't fact that the British occupied Ireland? If not fact, then why was a treaty negotiated with the British government in 1922 creating the Irish Free State? What on earth did they teach you in school about the history of the island on which you live?

Why are people so offended about the "potato joke"? It was hardly as if the poster made any comment whatsoever about the potato famine.

It wasn't a famine. It was genocide engineered by the British exporting every other produce grown in the country and leaving the population with nothing but a single vegetable they could grow easily in poor arable land to feed their poor families. Which was destroyed by a blight and caused the starvation of millions, the death of at least a million people, and a million more emigrated or attempted to, all the while watching as British ships sailed away heaving with food for UK markets.

Some jokes about potatoes are funny. Ones where someone from Britian (including Londonderry) think it's funny to suggest pelting Irish people with them, are a bit sick. On a par with suggesting that it would be funny to pelt a Jew with a yellow star.

I'm from Londonderry and couldn't care less.

Displaying the attitude of your ancestors perfectly there.

@Madmegs if you are confused about the significance of calling "Derry" "LondonDerry" then I am guessing you are not from and have never lived anywhere in Ireland.

The ferry and plane are not so bad, we go back and forward with the kids 3 or 4 times a year.

Monday, love. Do yourself a favour and read the thread back. You’re embarrassing yourself. And it’s Mags.

MondayTuesdayWednesday
I think you are barking up a very wrong tree here.