To feel my husbands family are a bit racist

[Winterandspring]

I think racist is probably the wrong word I’m looking for.

I met dh when he’d already been living in England for almost a decade and now we are expecting our first child the attitude is very much that it’s time for him to come ‘home’ now They constantly slag England off, the traffic, the high price of houses. Whenever we are there they stop at houses and shout ‘how much would this set you back in England eh’ and we say £200,000 or whatever and they shout triumphantly how much cheaper it is there! Neither of us like visiting because it’s a faff either flying and hiring a car or expensive ferry trips and they won’t come to us. Plus it’s tense the whole time due to them complaining about England and the schools or trying to shove food on us.

What is worrying me though is I have no support at all and have struggled in this pregnancy. Dh has been making ‘well maybe we could think about’ noises. I would struggle to get work over there and so really my support would be his family, I’d rather not!

I don’t know why I’m posting but there was an argument last night and it’s just been annoying me today.

OP - your PIL sound annoying, but saying that you 'hate' your FIL is pretty extreme, I'd think for the sake of your own well-being and that of your family you might try to temper your feelings a bit. Maybe your ILs sense your dislike of them and are anxious about whether they'll be able to be part of their gc's life if they're not geographically close. From your comments here it doesn't sound as if you'll be very keen on maintaining the relationship.

I totally get it, it’s the kind of thing you can easily laugh along with from a stranger on a bus or when it’s an occasional comment, but it gets so tedious and becomes rude when it is relentless and it’s often the kind of people who would be hypersensitive the other way round.

I’m from Yorkshire but sound “posh” and have lived in Yorkshire, London and rural Oxfordshire and I’ve heard it all ways: the “HOW MUCH!!!???/ You call that a pint!/ They wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire” brigade from the north, and the reverse assumptions from urban southerners that I come from a post-industrial wasteland populated by dispossessed colliers/ 1950s Herriotland sharing cups of sugar with apple-cheeked neighbours as we watch the bairns play out in our traffic and crime-free streets.
Some people are just very insular and lack imagination.

I love the previous suggestion of harping on about the even greater merits of rural New Zealand every time they do it!

More seriously, your DH needs to know that you will not move there. The lovely thread on here asking whether people would marry their OH if they could go back in time, includes a significant number who qualify their yes or no with reference to the fact that they wouldn’t make the same sacrifices they have with regards to their career or moving to an area following their OH’s wishes.

I've heard so many people from other countries complain about England in the same way (including how the women are dowdy and drab), however I doubt it's racism.
American and some Europeans men think British women are not worth their time and some of the things they say are just too shocking to pen down. I don't believe it's racism.

American and some Europeans men think British women are not worth their time and some of the things they say are just too shocking to pen down. I don't believe it's racism

It’s not racism, it is xenophobia if you’re prejudiced against someone because of their nationality.

Light sorry your post did make me laugh just then

Irish food is literally the best in the world. I would move to Ireland just to have some more of that stew and soda bread. My god it's AMAZING

Sounds like a nightmare for you,OP. Sounds alike heaven to me!!

Notreally - Thanks for the link. I didn't even need to get to the end of it to grasp the full meaning. To make a joke of that is truly despicable.

SHAME ON YOU poster (whatever your name was).

@Valerion Wikipedia is just the basic outline of it, but yeah it was horrendous and joking about it is disgusting.

It's not just the potato famine. Historically the Irish have depended on potatoes as they grow well in boggy type soil and can be stored through hard winters. They do still eat a lot of potatoes. My ILs make jokes about potato eating themselves and me and Irish DH tell our kids to eat up their spuds because they're Irish. But the comment about throwing them wasn't nice.

The closet i've come to Irish food has been buying tinned 'Irish stew' from Sainsbury's , but i loved it . I hope one day i can visit Ireland and go to a good traditional pub with drums! and dance all night after having some proper home made Irish stew....then again i might not be able to dance after the stew

@Eltonjohnssyrup but the insults aimed at Irish people do derive from the potato famine. We’re Scottish so make jokes to each other about it. When I lived in Berkshire and some twat started making digs about the highland clearances and how we were put in our place that wasn’t funny.

Valerion soda bread is the food of the gods!

Soda bread, now what is that?

Irish people tend to be backwards, small minded and not interested in anything outside their village.

I actually get embarrassed for English people when I read this shite.

There was a thread a couple of years ago with some dickhead going on about how Irish villages have the town witch in them that might cast a spell!

News flash for the genius who spouted the above: there are CITIES in Ireland. Brick buildings and everything. Mad, isn’t it?

Perhaps you should educate yourself a bit before posting next time?

Oh, and whatever cunt thinks the potato joke is hilarious; let’s break it down here. The famine was genocide committed by the British. The British who occupied lands and who are still occupying lands.

So next time you want to make a joke about the murder of innocent lives, pick the holocaust and see how funny people find it.

Irish soda bread recipe

It’s just lovely, I can’t describe it but it’s so good!

Oh, and whatever cunt thinks the potato joke is hilarious; let’s break it down here. The famine was genocide committed by the British. The British who occupied lands and who are still occupying lands

So next time you want to make a joke about the murder of innocent lives, pick the holocaust and see how funny people find it

Bang on!

I think the "Home" thing might just be an Irish turn of phrase. I'm from a big Irish family, my mums Irish, but I was born in the UK and am English.
When we were last over there visiting, one auntie asked me "when were you last home?" Meaning when did I last visit them in Ireland.
I was sat there like eh?! I was at home before I came over here!!
There is one uncle who refuses to speak to anyone with an English accent though. Think he's just generally a dick.

Notreally - I had to laugh when i saw the picture on the link, i'm currently on a low carb diet so that just made me almost choke. I can squeeze in the stew but i think the bread would be a step too far.

@Valerion oh no! It’s definitely not low carb! I’m right in the mood to make some now though!

I only picked up two freshly baked loafs from my mam this morning! Think I’ll make a stew :)

@Merrz I am actually shocked at your comment and I don't know where you come from but that is irrelevant because your comment shows to you be ignorant and small minded.

There are pros and cons to both countries but just to clear up some of the unbelievably ignorant comments posted here about Ireland:

Irish wages are quite high compared to other countries. Particularly for professionals. Ireland has a very high standard of living but can be an expensive place to live.

We have one of the most renowned financial services industries in the world. This is currently increasing by the day and will increase even more one the UK is outside of the EU post Brexit.

Most Irish people are well travelled and well educated. There is a great education system in Ireland.

Yes there are small villages in Ireland but there are also cities. Not as big as the UK cities but they are multi-cultural with a lot happening in them.

Most Irish people never eat stew. Only older generations eat a lot of potatoes. Ireland is renowned for its quality food and ingredients. Ignorant people wouldn't know this.

People shouldn't presume to know any country if they have not been there and experienced it themselves.

@MadMags if I start walking now.....

I think i need to make separate a thread about Irish food and music so as not to derail this one and the seriousness of it.

@notreally mon so and I’ll insult you by offering food!

I’m off to google Irish food now! wonders if DP will agree to a long weekend in Cork

@MadMags well I am mortally offended by such rudeness! I’ll still ask for seconds though