Why are they so bitchy?

[motherfiver]

Basically DP who I have happily been with for 6 years and had two children With is a photographer, he used to specialise in glamour photography (basically taking photos of women’s tits). He is the most respectful man I have ever met and part of this is down to his career in the industry.
After spending my last 20 years as a mother being shunned by other parents at school I’ve just began to make friends, or at least acquaintances I can chat to a drop off and pick up.
But after chatting about are partners jobs with one other mum before Christmas , our relationship has become the gossip of the playground, it really does seem like we are the ones at school.
Dp now just gets ignored or stared during the school run and I’ve had constant ‘leave him’ ‘he’ll cheat’ ‘he doesn’t respect women’ ‘how can you be with him’ ‘get out now’ ‘how can you let him near your daughters’ etc from a group of about 5/6 other mums and these aren’t just jokey comments.
I was sent a long serious text from another mother expressing her concern for me and my daughters and how her and the other mums would be there to support me get out of the relationship.
It’s like I said he was a convicted sex offender!

I guess I’m just ranting I already know I’m not being unreasonable but surely they could just be less bitchy and worry about their own relationships?

Why did you tell them so much detail? Surely "he's a photographer" would have been fine.

Them's the breaks if you marry a pornographer.

< shrugs >

Yep. Just worry about you and yours and not about what they think of you. Of course other people would think that about a man who has made a living taking erotic images of women - it’s not like he’s an engineer or something. But only you know your DP, right? So that’s all that matters.

Frankly, their snotty behaviour is unwarranted. I am guessing that at least one of them has bought the magazines that used to celebrate and hire Terry Richardson. Now that is a real predatory creeper. Not a guy that provides a service, boobs or not. This new puritanism is a drag, and hugely hypocritical.

You are behaving as if the models have no agency, are victims of a lecherous man out to exploit them. That's patronising and frankly stupid.

Why did you need to give them so much detail?

Yes because of course women in the porn industry aren't exploited are they?! Let me guess you think it's "empowering"

Glamour is not porn. I know glamour, and I know porn. Two very different kind of businesses, that happen to cross over from time to time, with a glamour model joining porn.

Well why did you tell them he takes pics of tits
What's your partner do? He's a photographer
Oo what type?
Models
End of conversation 🤦‍♀️

I guess they think he's a sleazebag. Funny that.

Of course porn isn't glamour!

So he used to do that, but doesn't now?

I can't understand then why it would come up.

i wouldn't want to hang out with your husband, and therefore would be looking for other people to pal up with.

i wouldn't send you texts about it or discuss it with you, i would just not make an effort to become your friend because I would not want to hang about with your husband.

God almighty.
Why the biscuits?
What has the OP done to deserve that?
Her partner takes glamour pictures of women showing their breasts off. He is not photographing six year old kids naked.
The women who go to him will not be dragged there and forced by their Neanderthal husbands to “get their tits out for the lads”.
These women will be doing this of their own volition and will have agents or be looking to get one. And I’m pretty sure that a lot if not all will be accompanied.
Why should people be awful to the OP because her partner has a perfectly legal job which some people may find tasteless?
I know someone who thinks the police are utter bastards [ not going into why, no,point but she is justified to think this] but wouldn’t be a bitch to someone in the playground who was married to a copper! Would you expect a vegan to tell a woman whose husband is a butcher to leave him??
Why can’t people just be nice? No wonder kids have trouble at school with nasty kids when their parents can’t even behave nicely in the playground.

OP you have my sympathies. Some people are just narrow minded and ignorant and there’s nothing like a gossipy witches covers in the playground to make some people miserable is there! New year, new victim must be their motto.
Just learn from this. Just say he is a photographer. You are not ashamed of him but if other people are that stupid it’s easier just to not give the full story. It’s nobody else’s business. Dont stress too much They will move onto somebody else soon.
Just ensure your dc are not being picked on at all or left out because of things that the witches covers may have said to their children.
And there must be some really uptight people on here if they think your DP is a pornographer! They have obviously never been to a beach on the Med in the summer! Tits galore!!

Just because the photos are euphemistically referred to as "glamour" shots doesn't detract from the fact that yes photis if tits for the sexual gratification of the viewer - the very definition of porn.

Regardless of what you call it I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who was a "glamour" photographer. I wouldn't be a dick about it and gossip but I wouldn't want to see you socially

Why on earth did you tell them? Sounds like you wanted the reaction you got tbh. That way you can judge them all for being bitchy. Is it lonely up there on the moral high ground?

waits for the dripfeed about lacking a social filter...

Well this is clearly fake lol.

Most people: My partner's a photographer.

OP: My partner's a photographer. They used to specialise in glamour photography. That's taking pictures of women's tits in case you didn't know.

What exactly did you say about it? This seems pretty unrealistic

Why should I not of told them? I was asked, 'models' isn't a type of photographer and it is likely they would of asked further anyways, like any famous models? Which magazines? etc
Me or DP are not ashamed of him being a glamour photographer, it's not porn (which he is against). It shouldn't need to be kept a secret, he did it professionally, it's not an illegal profession, nobody is being hurt or abused.

I don't get this, so he works in a different field of photography now?

I don't know how you could be with someone like that to be fair,but anyway people have their opinions that's up to them if they think he's a sleaze and your own fault for bragging about it!

@BulletFox

Yes he no longer specialises in glamour photography, but the point of the conversation was about our partners careers and I was asked about what work he had done before.