To ask my parents for one afternoon per week childcare

[IndependentMum]

So they manage to get to church once a week and do all their church warden stuff weekly right.. so why not commit to looking after my son for one afternoon per week? My mum even said, I wish we could help with a regular commitment but we don't want one.. I know it would solve all your problems..

I'm really pissed off. I work in the emergency services in a stressful job and come home to more stress with an autistic 11 year old. I have no time to myself as I go to work when the ex has him every other weekend. I have no life, yet i'm still scrabbling desperately for childcare wondering how i'm going to get through each week. It's a bloody nightmare

Bubba Good point. I've had friends' mothers who roared through their seventies and most of their eighties and took care of various (older) GCs who stayed, visited, chatted etc. But smaller children can be physically taxing - so running to keep them out of harm, picking them up etc can be a problem for both GPs and GCs.

Generally if I were not going to help either of my DCs with future GCs on a regular basis I would certainly offer to help financially - even if it wasn't, as in OP's case, a question of losing a job and possibly a home if I didn't commit.

I do think OP should go to HR at her ambulance service to ask for their advice - if she trusts her ambulance trust.

Pancakeinmabelly - please tell me that's not a serious suggestion. DS with issues to move home and school? EX to move house and job when he can't help with afternoons if he's working? Really

Wow so past posters suggest he gets cared for by whoever at the school gates is willing to have him. By strangers from babysitting websites etc, but I suggest he lives with his own father (the OP said the father can't help due to DISTANCE. so I'm assuming he is not also a shift worker) and suddenly THAT would be too disruptive for him? Seriously WTF? That possibility should at least be on the table!!!

Random strangers is not what I suggested in any way shape or form. OP has already indicated the level of commitment she can expect from Dad. Virtually none. Dad has remarried so it's not just Dad but step-mum too. Asking him to take his son full time isn't an option on my reading. As I say it seemed to me that OP made that clear.

I really hope you have found a workable solution OP, I know how tough the single parent/normal work juggle is, shifts must be virtually impossible.

Sorry you are having such a hard time OP. I have two children with ASD and no family support with childcare but am lucky to have a partner and work typical hours. Next year I am having to drop hours even further to get my eldest to a special school. I accept this as part of having a child but it still makes me jealous when some of my friends and colleagues have help every single day.

I don't think this is a GP bashing thread at all as a pp suggested - plenty of people were very quick to tell the OP they thought SWBU.

Try for a little empathy people.

Bobby, you should be able to get transport with the special school? And they usually pick up quite early and return late-ish, so you should get more time.

My parents live 2 1/2 hours away so can't offer help but I know they would if they could. My father in law is 10 mins away and won't even watch her while I do some housework even if I'm in the house and the other week asked if he could watch her for 40 mins as I really needed the dentist and he said no, so I understand it's really tough and the lack of support I have does make cry sometimes. She's my child I know I'm responsible but I don't know how family can let you struggle on sometimes