To really dislike ex's girlfriend for trying to meddle and harm my daughters?

[CantBringMeDown]

ExH pays a larger amount of maintenance than most, but it's still "only"the set legal amount.
We have 2 dcs (dd11 months and dd 4.5yr old) he has 11 month old dd one full day including night then one evening and one day time.
He picks older dd up from school, takes her for dinner or to his home until 4:30/5pm then brings her home. This happens 1-3x a week dependent on his ability due to his very tough work schedule.
He also has older dd the same night as younger dd.
we both try to be flexible and coparent wonderfully.
A few weeks ago oldest dd started being very nervous whenever ex would try to buy her anything, she started scouring menus for the cheapest item and stopped asking for little things whenever she went into shops with ex - nothing major just the usual sweet or magazine she'd want. Ex asked if I'd said anything to her I truthfully said no. It's now come to light that, when ex left the girls with his GF she had a screaming fit at them (unsure how the youngest would've understood it but she had been very restless for a few days after) this has really effected eldest DD.
the gf said things like "your slut of a mother takes his fucking money every week! I can't fucking stand how irritating you are. Do you know how much you cost us?!"
I'm so angry and I really dislike the GF now. I don't know how ex plans to deal with it but would I be unreasonable to say she can never have the girls without being supervised by ex or someone else and ask him to limit their contact with her?
For further info, he's a high earner, she's a shop assistant. They don't live together. It's not like it's coming out of joint money. It's his money and we're happy with how things are. He has no idea why she has done this but I haven't been able to talk to him properly about a resolution yet.

So pleased you've found a great resolution and that your girls will never have to encounter that gold-digger again.

Result!

Good news OP and bore off to all the troll hunters.

I'm relieved to hear it OP

Great news, OP. You are a wise woman. So glad your ex is also doted with wisdom.

Great news!

Quite frankly I'm a bit that he hasn't already dumped her. I would never stay with a man who said that to my children.

RTFT!

AstridWhite
Please refer to my earlier posts.
Yes, I'm sure I know my own daughters age, given she came out of me.
resting please refer to my last post.

Well done you and your ex for doing the right thing. (Reasonable, thoughtful parents produce child with advanced early literacy skills is not remotely surprising!)

I don't disbelieve that a child of four can know the difference between the value of 1 and 3, I'm just gobsmacked that she's reading the menu herself and even looking at the prices, let alone caring about them or choosing food she might not actually want on the basis of price alone.

It's not a reading or literacy issue though Idont it's about the basic habits of 4 year old children, their dietary preferences and the way their minds tend to work. Or not. As the case may be.

Most children would not even have the price on food on their radar until way beyond that age or care about looking at the menu. When mine were that age it was a case of me trying to engage their attention in stuff on the menu, saying

'There's X or Y or how about Z for a change? You might like that.'

'I'll have A. I always have A.'

'But you had A last night darling. Don't you think it might be nice to try...'

'I'll have A please. A is my favourite.'

OP I’m glad he’s dumped her, she sounds a nightmare. Good for your DD that she was able to tell you what was going on. A great message for her that mum and dad can work together and they won’t put up with anyone being awful to their girls. What a nightmare woman.
And sorry you’ve had a load of hassle on the thread. Some people just live to criticise (usually without reading thread) 💐

But anyway, I would refuse to allow the ex to have her anywhere near my children in future and hopefully, if he believes you about this (or if your DD tells him herself, which would hold more water) then he will dump the bitch anyway.

Just caught up with the outcome, great news.

Some four year olds are very articulate and are more likely to remember words and phrases that they are not allowed to use or know are bad words.

I’m glad your ex is single now, best solution all round. She must be kicking herself that his money remains his money.

The only acceptable outcome! Glad your ex has seen her for the clearly manipulating money grabber she clearly is
Hope you can now work on your poor daughters behaviour after this incident these things can stay with children

Yet she accurately remembered the word 'slut' even though it was a completely unfamiliar word, the meaning of which would have been lost on her, and this conversation happened weeks ago?

Have you ever had small children? They are picking up unfamiliar words all the time and they don’t need to know the meaning in order to repeat them.

Lord knows mine repeated words they’d heard just once even though I wished they wouldn’t...

OP glad to see the update.

Wtf is wrong with you Astrid?

Great outcome OP at least you know your girls are safe

Bloody horrid woman and I'm glad your exH got shot and saw his DC as his priority.

A similar thing happened to my Dsis when she was 12, she plugged her phone in to charge at her Dads home and his mental GF went wild about her using electricity . She was GF no more.

My real dads wife on the other hand is amazing and my DD calls her grandma. Swings and roundabouts

OP - glad your xh sorted it

Thanks to a bust up that resulted in fists flying between two mums outisde my DS preschool he picked up the phrase 'come back you slag', which he then promptly taught all the others. It took weeks for us (preschool and DH and I) to get him to stop. He still has no idea what a slag is, just that it gets a reaction.