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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should toddlers be running round the pub screaming on a Friday night?

182 replies

Notevilstepmother · 06/01/2018 14:07

I’m sorry to be mean, I love kids generally, but if I go to the pub on a Friday night and it’s not one of those pubs with a soft play and a children’s menu I don’t really want to have people allowing their children to run round and scream at the top of their voices. I was trying to have a conversation with a friend and someone encouraged their children to run around our table, nowhere near where they were sitting. One of them was only 18 months old and was screeching with excitement which I get, and the others were maybe 3 and 5 and were under the bar staffs feet and nearly tripped them up a few times.

I’m not necessarily saying ban children, but maybe after 7 or something, or have them sit down and not run around. Not everyone wants other people’s kids being noisy when they are having an adult night out. AIBU?

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 06/01/2018 18:59

I don't even like taking my DDs out to a restaurant or pub that isn't child friendly. Far too stressful. I go out rarely with DH and my DM or a friend babysits. Why would you enjoy having to work hard keeping DCs entertained while waiting for your food?

ManicUnicorn · 06/01/2018 19:05

Typical parentitlement. If your child can't behave, don't bring them.
There is no excuse these days are so many places are child friendly with soft play and other stuff, there is no need for them to be in proper grown up pubs.

RatRolyPoly · 06/01/2018 19:09

isn’t it also the case that you know each other well enough to deal with the kids if they’re behaving badly?

Oh yeah, definitely Tanith, but I'm just picturing some unsuspecting NON LOCALS wandering in thinking maybe we look quaint or whatever and suddenly taking issue with the baby on the pool table and the toddler behind the bar - both of these things are normal Grin

RatRolyPoly · 06/01/2018 19:13

Maybe but if Frank from no30s kiddies knocked into me whilst I was carrying drinks or caused an accident you can't expect people to be happy about it either.

Well no, people may not be happy, but they'd be chastised and ejected far quicker than the kids round my way. Pubs are closing left, right and centre and those kids' parents keep my local thriving! No-one's rocking that boat.

Downthepubofcourse · 06/01/2018 19:19

I am/have been on both sides here. My kids are adults now but were little once I seem to recall. And I now run a pub.

We never used to have "rules" about kids, until we saw the behaviour of some parents; exhausted kids still there with getting-pissed parents at midnight, playing with darts, running about, shrieking.... So now it is kids before 9pm only, and only away from the bar area. We are strict about running about, not only because it is a pain in the ass but also because someone could trip over them and hurt someone. Children under 18 are not allowed to use the dart board. I watched a parent once let their 3 year old throw proper darts in the air, and took offence when I stopped him.

That's not to say we turf out all kids at 9. If they are sitting quietly then we let them be. But we have to have rules because some parents have the opinion that their children have too much personality to sit still. Yes I have heard that.... My method is to send the little pets back to their parents every time. "But isn't he allowed to run about?" I have heard. Nor is playing football between the tables EVER acceptable. (same child who wanted to run about). And my staff do not do babysitting while you go out for a fag. Not even for 5 minutes.

I firmly believe our pub is for the community and for everyone, but that means everyone has to behave appropriately, kids and adults alike. I was very strict on my boys behaving when they were out, now 20 years later they still remember the time we all left the pub because they weren't behaving, apparently it was unjust....but they never once did it again! As a result though we had many many happy days out enjoying pubs and restaurants.

I can rant forever about this one, my staff can too. It is a daily issue for us, to get the balance right for everyone.

RatRolyPoly · 06/01/2018 19:21

Here here Downthepub

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 06/01/2018 19:22

Luckily kids aren't allowed in pubs here after eight unless they are sitting quietly having a meal. I have never seen kids running round a pub and have never seen or took my kids into a pub if it wasn't for food or didn't sell food.

I'm in South West Scotland.

Zoop, if your two year old has a tendency to run off (it only takes one time for someone to drop a glass/hot coffee/plate of food on her) then she should be in a high chair. I have had three kids and not ones ever done this there's literally NO excuse.

HeresMe · 06/01/2018 19:24

Let's be honest if you let a kid run about in a pub where there hot food and drinks carried about you are scum, you can say oh they are learning, well why should anyone be subjected to your learning.

My niece 10 year old behaves perfectly in a restaurant. I fail to see why others cant, absolving other behavioural issues

MorrisZapp · 06/01/2018 19:29

People don't learn how to be polite and not run round restaurants by being taken to restaurants.

They learn it by not being a little kid anymore.

I'm 46, we very rarely ate out as kids, few people did back then. But I didn't rock up at Busters Burgers aged 19 and shout I NEED A POO before helicoptering round the tables.

YouTheCat · 06/01/2018 19:30

And that, Morris, is why I can never go in a Wimpy again. Grin

isseywithcats · 06/01/2018 20:15

when my kids were young and eating out if they started bickering (they wouldnt have dared leave the table except for toilet run) i would lean across the table and say "do you want to eat out in public again" they of course would say yes, then i would simply say well stop what your doing and you will, carry on and you wont, funnily enough it worked, and people poo pooing maccie ds, thats where mine were taken to eat out to start with and then as they got older worked up to posh restaurants, and eating out was considered a real treat so they wanted to keep the priviledge, and my children have brought up my grandchildren to respect that eating out is a treat not a norm, and believe me my boys were far from angels

ihatetosay · 06/01/2018 20:21

children should be made to sit in the car with a packet of crisps and a bottle of pop - never did me any harm keep them out the pub

Shouldnotwouldnot · 06/01/2018 20:32

Pubs are for adults to meet up with friends and relax over a drink Not necessarily. Many pubs encourage families eating and drinking as that’s how they make money. They don’t make much from alcohol these days it’s all about the food.

morriszap that may be true but, shock horror, some people enjoy having a nice meal with their children. It’s one of the great joys in life. I don’t want to go to McDonalds with my daughter (well maybe sometimes!), I want to enjoy nice food in a good atmosphere. And sometimes that’s a pub

MorrisZapp · 06/01/2018 20:35

Fair enough, and each to their own. Pizza Express is my own personal limit until DS is at least twelve.

Rosieposy4 · 06/01/2018 20:35

So agree Morris,
Zoo, your child will learn by grwoing up. You don’t expect a five month old to be potty trained, or a five year old to be great at algebra, they are age dependent. Similarly whilst some kids are great at sitting still from an early age, others need to grow into it. No offence to them, but don’t take them to pubs and restaurants while they are learning to sit at table. ( i have 4 boys with just over 6 years age gap from oldest to youngest, there was time when we never went out to eat as a family because they could not manage to sit and eat nicely)
Guess what now aged 17 plus they can all sit and eat perfectly politely and have not suffered from not being taken out to eat when really little.

Pennypickle · 06/01/2018 20:39

Shouldnot -

No pub wants children running around. And yes everyone likes a nice meal out in a good atmosphere. Nobody will notice children if they are sitting quietly and eating. Its the noisy feckers who run around, playing chase, whilst their parents drink and chat to their mates in total oblivion that are the problem.

No parent, who arranges child-care for their own children, will be ecstatic about sharing their night with other peoples noisy brats running around the place!

Onetwothree2018 · 06/01/2018 20:48

Unfortunatly you can’t say anything to parents about their darling child’s behaviour because they always kick off

Lizzie48 · 06/01/2018 20:54

I do hate the word 'brats', it's so judgemental. Yes you do get badly behaved children in restaurants but mostly it's because their parents are taking them out when they're too tired to cope with the situation.

Pennypickle · 06/01/2018 20:58

brat
[brat]

NOUN
derogatory
humorous

a child, typically one that is badly behaved.
"she's been acting like a spoiled brat all evening" · [More]
synonyms: badly behaved child · spoilt child · rascal · wretch · imp ·

There you go Lizzy - Brat. Badly behaved child

Llangollen · 06/01/2018 21:06

it's because their parents are taking them out when they're too tired to cope with the situation.

You can witness horrible behaviour at lunch time as well as diner time, so I am not really sure that's true.

Lizzie48 · 06/01/2018 21:25

I do know that children behave badly at lunchtime, too, but they're definitely much harder to handle in the evening. I'd much rather take mine out at lunchtime than in the evening. You get more toddlers at lunchtime, who are obviously more likely to be loud and disturb other diners. I personally feel more tolerant about toddlers being badly behaved than older children, though, as I don't expect them to sit quietly.

kierenthecommunity · 06/01/2018 22:00

I do sympathise with parents with kids who got bored and won't sit still. I used to have one. But if he decided he wanted to have a wander, one of us would go with him to make sure he wasn't noisy/annoying/running about. Sometimes a quick look at the fruit machines and the loo would be enough to take the edge off the restlessness.

It was a PITA that one of us would have to leave the table/group but hey, we chose to have a kid.

Onetwothree2018 · 06/01/2018 23:05

kierenthecommunity The parents that walk their children around restaurants are the most irritating.... you should be teaching your child to eat at the table

YouTheCat · 06/01/2018 23:08

I don't parents walking around with their kids so long as they don't expect everyone to coo over them. It's infinitely preferable than rampant toddlers or screaming.

juliesaway · 06/01/2018 23:19

OP you will get many on here saying you are unreasonable but I hate kids in pubs or restaurants late if they can’t be controlled. Trouble is, some parents think their kids are just being spirited and are in control when really they are just being annoying. Taking small kids into an adult environment where hot food and drinks glasses are all around and people are intoxicated is inconsiderate by parents - these places aren’t crèches. However I today’s “take your kids anywhere” society no place seems inappropriate and no kids behaviour is too bad to tolerate, pub, theatre, restaurant, wherever. Anything goes now. It’s a shame.