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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should toddlers be running round the pub screaming on a Friday night?

182 replies

Notevilstepmother · 06/01/2018 14:07

I’m sorry to be mean, I love kids generally, but if I go to the pub on a Friday night and it’s not one of those pubs with a soft play and a children’s menu I don’t really want to have people allowing their children to run round and scream at the top of their voices. I was trying to have a conversation with a friend and someone encouraged their children to run around our table, nowhere near where they were sitting. One of them was only 18 months old and was screeching with excitement which I get, and the others were maybe 3 and 5 and were under the bar staffs feet and nearly tripped them up a few times.

I’m not necessarily saying ban children, but maybe after 7 or something, or have them sit down and not run around. Not everyone wants other people’s kids being noisy when they are having an adult night out. AIBU?

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 06/01/2018 15:03

I think it would be worth a call to the manager to give them some feedback on why you'll be finding another pub in future, yes.

Absolutely not on. Either no kids after 7, or a notice up saying parents are to keep kids under control. It's for their own safety as much as anything else - nearly tripping up the bar staff? That's dangerous.

aishana · 06/01/2018 15:03

It really gets on my nerves when parents let their kids run wild round adult spaces.

My friends' children aren't allowed to do that in fact the littler ones are on reins, most of them are in bed by 7 anyway,,

I went for lunch in a bar once & this family let their approx 10 yr old sons play with a football in the bar! The staff looked but were too scared to say anything as it was a big group.

unenthusiasticfuturedancemom · 06/01/2018 15:04

If it's village day at your local pub and there is loads of familiar children running round in packs; the more the merrier.

Otherwise, in the UK, no.

We take DS out once in a very blue moon but only because he can behave and we leave the restaurant by seven thirty.

womblinglove · 06/01/2018 15:04

Of course it's not acceptable!

We have quite a few children. Often come to the pub with us. Never EVER allowed to run round. Sit, chat, eat , laugh, go home.
They can leave the table for a wee. That's it.
Can't stand Other People's Kids bothering me when I'm out without my own either!!!!

Llangollen · 06/01/2018 15:06

YANBU!

As already said, children can run around (screaming if they must) in soft plays and park, NOT in pubs or restaurants or cafes, whatever the time or day.

If you can't manage your children and they can't sit (relatively) quietly during diner, don't bring them. Practice at home until they are ready, stick to pubs with outdoor playgrounds in the summer, many options.

Yes, it means that you can't always take toddlers to certain restaurants. That's life. you can't take a toddler to the cinema (apart from kids days), to the theater, so what.

I do judge the lazy entitled parents who allow their kids to run riots. You are a nuisance for the staff, a nightmare for the others guests, and your kids are a pain for other children who are learning to behave nicely.

FurryDogMother · 06/01/2018 15:06

In this situation, I would leave, and I would tell the manager why I was leaving.

MikeUniformMike · 06/01/2018 15:06

Pubs are ideal places to let toddlers and young children run around.
Plenty of opportunity to break glass, spill hot food etc.

ohtheholidays · 06/01/2018 15:07

Have they got a page online where you can leave a review OP?

Being as the staff were young they may not have realized that they should have said something to the customers who weren't watching they're children.

But they need to be trained that they do need to say something not least because it pisses other customers off but because if one of the children had a serious accident you could bet they'd blame the pub and not they're own lack of parenting.

Jaxhog · 06/01/2018 15:08

Most parents are great, but some are an absolute nightmare.

A few months ago, we were having a quiet (we thought) sunday lunch when a large party including variously aged kids (2 -14?). Parents sat the kids at a separate table and then virtually ignored them. They ran riot amongst the neighbouring tables, including ours, commenting on people's food, throwing food at each other. etc. Parents ignored them, staff didn't know what to do. Totally ruined our lunch. We'll never go back there.

expatinscotland · 06/01/2018 15:08

I'd have had a word with the staff. Then leave a review reflecting that your experience was negative due to some selfish twat parents and the staff not doing a damn thing about it.

' But IMO it's more important to get children used to dining out, than to worry other diners might not like children.'

Wow! How shockingly rude, entitled and selfish.

expatinscotland · 06/01/2018 15:09

'staff didn't know what to do. Totally ruined our lunch. We'll never go back there.'

Make sure the establishment knows that, too.

happypoobum · 06/01/2018 15:10

YANBU

I am not keen on other peoples DC at the best of times, and certainly not running screaming around my dinner table at night.

As PP have said - the parents would presumably want to sue if their DC accidentally got knocked over or had hot food split on them. Irresponsible parenting.

crazychemist · 06/01/2018 15:11

YANBU. In my view, inside pubs in the evening is not a place for kids to be running round. They can learn about dining out at lunch time, or in child friendly locations (pub with play area, family friendly restaurant etc). If they are too young to behave appropriately it's not the right place for them.

Obviously the first time you take a kid you can't be sure they'll get it right, but you know your own kid and what they are likely to be able to handle. If you misjudged it, you should be prepared to leave it for a bit and then try again.

Having kids doesn't give you the right to let them run riot and ruin other people's adult time. I think the vast majority of parents get this!

HelenaDove · 06/01/2018 15:12

Im willing to bet this has got worse in the last eleven years post smoking ban.

Not against the ban and im not a smoker btw but i bet its made the difference.

StylishMummy · 06/01/2018 15:13

Staggered at the sense of entitlement one or two posters here are displaying Confused teach your kids how to 'dine out' in a soft play restaurant or McDonald's- not a pub!

Plink42 · 06/01/2018 15:14

Why didn't u say sumthing to the parents? It's no good coming on here to moan abt it when u did nothing about the situation 🙄

milliemolliemou · 06/01/2018 15:14

OP Have a word with the manager before you desert the pub. Check the regs - I couldn't find any because it's mostly focused at serving drinks to those under 16 or employing them. However there is nothing stopping researching further ... and I believe the landlord/lady can set their own rules including Health and Safety regulations and authorise their staff to act accordingly.

Like other PPs I would hate the idea of a small child running around with people serving hot food/coffees to say nothing of disturbing other people. Perhaps legal eagles on here could help?

womblinglove · 06/01/2018 15:17

Our local tolerates well behaved children.

Others are told in no uncertain terms, by the landlord, staff or regulars!!

YouTheCat · 06/01/2018 15:19

Plink, I think I know the sort of people who would let their kids run riot in a pub. They're not the type to take kindly to anyone asking them to do some parenting. There's little point in saying anything because all you get is a load of abuse.

MissEliza · 06/01/2018 15:19

There's a great country pub near us which has received a lot of publicity recently due to its popularity with a certain A list celebrity who lives nearby. As a result it seems to have attracted a lot of non-locals. Dh and I visited recently and there was a large table with three children who were running around and being 'boisterous.' This was 9pm. It ruined the cosy atmosphere we've always enjoyed and it was quite galling as we were getting Pizza Express atmosphere at twice the price! The management are lovely there and I felt reluctant to complain but looking back, I should have.

Shouldnotwouldnot · 06/01/2018 15:20

StylishMummy thinks children should only be taken to soft play restaurants (whatever the hell they are) or McDonalds. Classy. And you wonder why some children don’t know how to behave when dining out....

Helpadvicepls · 06/01/2018 15:20

I have the same problem in costa ,nearly dropped my extra hot black coffee on a little one running up and down today...thankgod I didn't ,she actually tried going through my legs as I walking with it 😥

RubMyRhubarb · 06/01/2018 15:21

Irritating. My local has a "children under 16 are welcome until 9pm if supervised by a responsible adult" sign up. But it's flexible, if under 16's are behaving themselves they will hardly boot them (along with their parents by extension) out at 9 and no one really cares as long as they're not being a pain in the arse.

I'd reckon that on Friday/Saturday nights it's a little different, though. Lot's of things can go wrong for kids in pubs and the weekend seems more of a problem to me. Pissed up idiots etc who can't even string a sentence together, forget that the toilet's aren't in the bar but shockingly in a separate designated area of the building.... that sort of thing.

YouTheCat · 06/01/2018 15:22

Letting your kids run around a restaurant or pub is so 'classy'. Hmm

Definitely stick to McDs if you can't be arsed to parent.

DancesWithOtters · 06/01/2018 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.