Should toddlers be running round the pub screaming on a Friday night?

[Notevilstepmother]

I’m sorry to be mean, I love kids generally, but if I go to the pub on a Friday night and it’s not one of those pubs with a soft play and a children’s menu I don’t really want to have people allowing their children to run round and scream at the top of their voices. I was trying to have a conversation with a friend and someone encouraged their children to run around our table, nowhere near where they were sitting. One of them was only 18 months old and was screeching with excitement which I get, and the others were maybe 3 and 5 and were under the bar staffs feet and nearly tripped them up a few times.

I’m not necessarily saying ban children, but maybe after 7 or something, or have them sit down and not run around. Not everyone wants other people’s kids being noisy when they are having an adult night out. AIBU?

Lucky you! Mine won't sit still longer than 5 minutes (we're working on it). She has no interest in reading or drawing when there's lots going on. I'm sure we disturb people sometimes. But IMO it's more important to get children used to dining out, than to worry other diners might not like children.

Nonsense. It's more important for your children to learn to sit still first before you start taking them out. They're not going to learn when they're hyped up because they've been taken out and they're in new surroundings with, seemingly, lots of space to run around in.

Zoop I’m aware some children find it difficult to sit still. It still isn’t inevitable that they will run about. Teach them to behave appropriately at table in your own home or family friendly places (they still shouldn’t be running about, it’s dangerous) not in a pub.

The reason why some children don't know how to behave in restaurants is because of the low expectations their parents have of how they should behave in public.

No, YANBU. To be honest I don't think pubs are really an appropriate place for kids at all, unless it's geared towards families like a Hungry Horse chain. I have a DS and I've never taken him to a pub in the evening.

I actually agree with the poster who said children should learn how to behave when eating out and I’m fine with that. She said that if her child ran off she would fetch her back and explain. That’s reasonable imho in a pub which allows children.

I’m not fine with what happened yesterday and it wasn’t the same thing.

As I said I couldn’t be doing with confronting someone last night, Friday night after a loooong week at work I just wanted a quiet drink. I don’t expect the conversation would have been helpful, anyone who thinks it’s fine to encourage such behaviour isn’t going to like having their freestyle parenting criticised.

I will have a quiet word with the manager another time.

I'm trying to imagine what the parents "actively encouraging" the kids to run round OP's table would look like.

"Come on, kids, run around that table - I'll catch you."

I currently work in a pub- the amount of parents think i'm a babysitter and not a barmaid is unbelievable.

Luckily a punter lost it at the -spawn of the devil- 7 year old last week. His parents were happily on their 6th pint while their son was tormenting the poor pub dogs. Yes, children are welcome but they're not welcome to play hide and seek, tag, throw the pool balls, make unnecessary loud noise inside which you would think was common sense.

We try to avoid restaurants with play areas purely because we want our DC to learn how to behave in a restaurant!

When we're 100% sure they've all completely nailed it, we'll take them somewhere fun

'I will have a quiet word with the manager another time.'

If they have social media I'd drop them a line right now. Or ring them. They need to know it's putting off customers.

Why is it important that "kids get used to dining out"? Dining out is a pleasure, not an essential part of life! If they're not ready for it yet, you're not doing them any favours. Surely you practice at home? When they can sit at a table for a civilised family dinner, you then try somewhere family friendly at lunchtime, and work up to more adult venues over time.

Yanbu

We had this issue last week.
7 till 10pm.

4 kids from 3yo to 12yo ish.

Running round
Screaming
Opening doors etc

Was hell

Parents didn't give a shit

I’m a parent of 3 there’s no way I would bring my dc to pub unless it was a for a meal or a function e.g christening or party which is usually hosted in a function room,other than that a pub isn’t a place for young children to be running around, it’s an adult environment.

Pubs round my way have a policy on this. Usually they’re allowed until 7 or 8 pm (can’t remember when) then time for them to leave. Personally I think it’s selfish to allow children to run around pubs or restaurants in the evening.

Where are all these pubs that let kids in up until 11pm?!
Licensing laws usually state that they have to be out by a certain time.
No, it''s not acceptable for kids to be running around in restaurants.
Mine are a little bit older now but they used to be little sods for wanting to run about. If they did start playing up though we went home.

My MIL chooses to have extended family get togethers the restaurant of a 5 star hotel specifically because she'd rather her dgcs and her db's dgcs run around and make a mess there rather than do it in her own house. Last time I was absolutely mortified. The kids were standing on chairs, lying on the floor and climbing on windowsills. My dd (9) was getting fed up as she couldn't eat because her cousins were climbing over her. Not once did any of their parents tell them off. When we left, my MIL looked at the carnage
left behind and said 'that's why we pay all that money, so they can't complain'.

YADNBU- there should be properly enforced time limits for children in pubs.9pm is late enough for any child to be out .
I have several DCs of my own plus many nephews and nieces .Our family DCs are all taught right from birth that they are part of whatever is going on and they can stay and talk /listen to the general chat .BUT to do so they must remain seated (on a chair or a lap) and not shout out. Getting down and running around is not tolerated from any age. If they are feeling the need for activity they can go out or into another room. Those who want to can stay and chat .
This approach means that we can take our DCs anywhere and they will behave. They will sit on laps and talk quietly in the adults ear if they want something .They dont squirm and scream, they ask.
Given that the older DCs are now teens and have wide circles of friends between them I know that they are not somehow stunted by being encouraged to take part in social activities in social arenas.

Yes I do judge those parents who let their children run around in adult spaces. But I also judge spineless mangement who cant ensure that the majority of their customers are not annoyed by undisciplined children.

But IMO it's more important to get children used to dining out, than to worry other diners might not like children.

Oh. Of course it is.

if your kid is too young or too active to sit still and you can't control them - then the pub or restaurant are out until this changes.

sorry, having kids adds restrictions. You signed up for that when you took off the condom.

No they shouldn't be running round the pub at all! We went for a meal last Friday at 6pm there were 5 kids running round the pub for over an hour. I assume they had already eaten as the parents just sat drinking while the kids were causing chaos. I was so proud of my kids sitting nicely talking to us and colouring in with the stuff we brought with us. The staff even commented how well behaved my toddlers were and how they wished more parents kept their children occupied rather than letting them run riot. This pub was quiet when we arrived but was packed as we were finishing our meal. Other kids had joined in with the mad kids and it was awful. Lots of screaming and crying where kids were bumping into things and each other. We won't be going back there again even though the food and service was lovely as another customer told us it's regularly like that there.

I think it's pretty frustrating when a parent gets a babysitter for her kids then has her night ruined by other people's kids .
I've been in pubs where a child will approach you and to start with you find them cute . The conversation with your friend stops and you smile and coo over the little one for this little one to become annoying and won't go away and their parents think it's funny that they've "took to you" ... Great ! Now I've become babysitter for your child for the evening whilst you enjoy your conversation with your friend .
People just have no thought for others and seem to think just coz they love their kids everyone else should too !
Pubs and food establishments should be encouraging more custom not having their custom walk out due to unruly kids

She was wandering around the pub with them as they ran round and screamed.

At one point she stood right next to my table which made me feel quite uncomfortable anyway, and of course they all then ran up to her and then ran off again.

Odd behaviour really, not like she left them unsupervised as such, more that she was watching them scream, run round tables and around the staff as though it was perfectly normal and cute. In a playground it would be fine, but it wasn’t a playground.

People should just take their kids to family friendly pubs or restaurants, Pizza Hut, Toby Carvery, any place with a soft play area or playground, if you want them to have the chance to run around. We only take ours to family friendly places as far as possible, though now they're 8 and 5 it's getting easier.

Yes Mum that's how I've felt many times in the past. I've paid a babysitter for some quality child free time only to be seated next to a table with kids running around.
You know when I was a kid, there was only one restaurant my dps would take us to because it was the only one that did a kids menu. The waitresses would tell us we'd only get our pudding if we behaved ourselves. My db and I would be on our very best behaviour so we could get our ice cream sundaes! We joke now about being terrified of the waitresses but it worked! That's how kids should be treated in restaurants.

'I've been in pubs where a child will approach you and to start with you find them cute . '

The trick is to never find them cute because kids left to wander around a pub are never cute. You just ignore entirely. If they keep trying to get your attention, go to the staff and tell them your meal is being ruined by another patron's failure to control their offspring.

I think kids should be banned after 8 o'clock. If pubs let themselves be turned into a soft play area then that's up to them. But I wouldn't be going back. And they shouldn't be running round at any time of day. Went for lunch quite a while ago and small child screaming at the top of voice throughout meal. Too little to be naughty. Haven't been back since.