Should toddlers be running round the pub screaming on a Friday night?

[Notevilstepmother]

I’m sorry to be mean, I love kids generally, but if I go to the pub on a Friday night and it’s not one of those pubs with a soft play and a children’s menu I don’t really want to have people allowing their children to run round and scream at the top of their voices. I was trying to have a conversation with a friend and someone encouraged their children to run around our table, nowhere near where they were sitting. One of them was only 18 months old and was screeching with excitement which I get, and the others were maybe 3 and 5 and were under the bar staffs feet and nearly tripped them up a few times.

I’m not necessarily saying ban children, but maybe after 7 or something, or have them sit down and not run around. Not everyone wants other people’s kids being noisy when they are having an adult night out. AIBU?

Sounds horrendous.

'I think the earlier they learn appropriate restaurant behaviour, the easier it is for everyone. People are more tolerant of a noisy, restless 2 year old than an older child who thinks it's ok to shout and run around!'

Dear god, are you really that inconsiderate of other people in a restaurant? They should be running around in a restaurant or pub unless it's a soft play/garden/playground type of place. People should not have to be tolerant of noisy, restless kids in a restaurant and it's not 'easier on everyone' to have their dining experience ruined by inconsiderate parents who are using the place as a social experience for their kids.

Zoop, sorry but I’m not tollerant of Noisy 2 year olds. We took Dd to restaurants from a very young age, if she was noisy or restless we took her outside so she didn’t disturb other people.

At a family meals ect my dd was there and as pp says kids run around and play

No they shouldn't run around in a restaurant or pub.

You'd be hapoy with your DC getting covered in hot food or scolded by hot drinks for starters? No thought not.

I saw a little kid get knocked over by a waiter once, child was about 3 & had been running around the place with parents taking no notice at all. A waiter carrying a tray with water glasses tripped over the child, knocked him over ( not hard) and spilt some water on him - the parents went totally nuts at the waiter. Imagine if he had been carrying soup or coffee instead of cold water.

I don't care if your child is 2 or 10 years old if I'm out for a meal or a drink then I don't expect children to be running around screaming.

Both my kids have additional needs. Ds is severely affected but he can manage to sit and wait for a meal now that he's an adult. When he was younger, and he couldn't, we either took him to places at very quiet times and pre-ordered our food, explained to the restaurant ahead of time etc, so he didn't have to wait long or we just didn't go.

I understand why the OP didn’t speak to the parents. You never know if they’re going to respond favourably or be massively defensive/insulting/smack you in the face. Trip Advisor might be a way of ensuring it doesn’t happen again.

Never mind a Friday night, toddlers shouldn't be running round a pub screaming. Not at any time.

I honestly wish under 16s were banned from pubs after 7pm.

Many do - we went to a city centre pub with our 16 year old (well behaved ) DS last week around 6pm, we were very politely & courteously told that no Under 18s were allowed in the pub later than 7pm.

No problem at all, of course our DS wouldn't be running around but we quite understood that adults prefer to drink in a pleasant atmosphere without children or teenagers around.

youthecat I said nothing about it being ok to let your children run around a pub screaming so there was no need for a patronising emoji. I was objecting to the earlier suggestion that the only places children should be allowed to eat are ‘soft play restaurants and McDonalds’

I take my 2.5 year old out to eat at least once a week, usually more. I used to eat in Michelin star restaurants with my mum and Dad at 5 years old. I’d like my daughter to grow up being able to enjoy and appreciate the joys of good food and company too.

My suggestion was for anyone who thinks letting little Petunia run around a pub or restaurant is appropriate. If you don't do that, then I'd have no problem with your child in a pub.

Ha! Well in theory I agree with the masses, but in reality the are certain pubs that are very much local pubs. We have one near me. I'm a "local". These are pubs that only exist to serve a certain group of people who live there, drink there day in day out and basically all know each other. Everyone's done a stint behind the bar at one time or another, everyone gets a lock-in for their birthday, and all the regular staff live upstairs

In our local pub the dogs and children of locals are all welcome, and are supervised and petted by all and sundry. Them's the rules. A frankly I can imagine the reception you'd get if you rocked up in there and told Bob behind the bar that you wouldn't be drinking there again if Frank from number 30 didn't reign his kiddies in, and shouldn't they be in bed already??

I'm not saying it's perfect, I'm just saying it how it is.

A frankly I can imagine the reception you'd get if you rocked up in there and told Bob behind the bar that you wouldn't be drinking there again if Frank from number 30 didn't reign his kiddies in, and shouldn't they be in bed already??

Maybe but if Frank from no30s kiddies knocked into me whilst I was carrying drinks or caused an accident you can't expect people to be happy about it either.

I know the type of pub you mean, Ratrolypoly, but isn’t it also the case that you know each other well enough to deal with the kids if they’re behaving badly?

However if it is for familyou gathering then you should make allowances. Not everyone be lives in getting baby sitters.
I never used to leave my dd with anyone aside from my mum dad or grandad, so At a family meals ect my dd was there and as pp says kids run around and play

Who should make allowances?
If you don't want to leave your children with a babysitter you should, at least, parent your child and stop them from running around in a predominantly adult environment. Better still stay at home with little precious or take them to a venue more suitable for children who can't sit quietly and whose parents cant be bothered to parent them. Pubs are for adults to meet up with friends and relax over a drink - not to have to put up with children from ineffectual parents!

Make allowances my arse!

Doesn't matter what time of day it is- unless its outdoors or within a soft play or similar, children shouldn't be left to run around and screech.

I say this as someone who was a single parent to a very wilful little boy for 6 years. I either took him somewhere where it was socially acceptable to allow him a bit of freedom, or made sure that he was well supervised and well behaved if that wasn't possible. I left abandoned many a coffee/ lunch when I just couldnt keep him occupied at a table for long enough.

Children chattering and making conversation/ playing near their parents is one thing- running riot and screeching, disturbing people and causing a dangrr to staff serving food and drink is quite another.

kids only run around if you let them because you are one of those parents.

What most parents cannot do is pretend the child will behave like an adult, still quietly and silently whilst adults drink and chatter away. You keep the child entertained, it's not that difficult. Going out with your kids is just not the same as going out without them. Some selfish and rude people are too quick to forget that.

Pick up random children, give them a cuddle. Take them into the pub garden. Watch their panicking parents scuttle after you and rescue their child from the weirdo, then keep them close.
Works for me.

ratapoly your pub sounds great! I think your pub is different to the one the OP is described. Yours = kids fine, hers (anonymous) = not fine

I've got a ds 4 and I don't think children should be allowed in pubs after 7pm there us no need for it. I view pubs as adult environments

This is why DH and I stick to our local restaurant: there's a little free playzone opposite so we can take it in turns to take our DS for a crawl/walk around when he starts getting bored.

YANBU at all.

I'm a single parent and find it difficult to get a babysitter. I still don't take DS to places that aren't suitable for children IMO. If it's a restaurant aimed at families and we're having a meal then fine. Not a pub that's clearly unsuitable for kids and not late in the evening.

If I can't get a babysitter then I don't go, simple as that. DS is generally well behaved in restaurants but he does have a short attention span and he talks quite loudly (4 years old). We don't hang around for ages after eating our meal because he'd get fed up, we just eat and go.

Doesn't matter the time IMO< kids should not be running around a restaurant. I do silently judge parents who allow their kids to run wild. Mine are hyper as anything but they will still sit relatively quietly when we are in a restaurant. They always have really...its never been an option for them top be flying around under everyones feet..when DD did try to work herself one day we just took her straight home instead of inflicting her on others. Next time we went out, and everytime since then, she has behaved.

NovemberWitch you are very brave

I wish I had been brave enough to do the same in soft plays!