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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just dropped a clanger - what are yours?

262 replies

musicform · 05/01/2018 11:58

I was talking over the web to someone I know about their mother's passing and finished off the conversation by saying drop me a line after the cremation when the dust has settled. I didn't even pick up my gaffe until their response repeating my line - they took it well!

Anyone else made an unintentional gaffe recently?

Blush
OP posts:
ItMadeMyEyesWater · 05/01/2018 21:27

I used to work in a library and a lady wanted to join, I was telling her of all the items we stocked, trying to sound really helpful,I finished with, you can also get VD instead of DVD's. She just looked at me, and said, 'Christ I hope not'.

Birdshitbridgegotme · 05/01/2018 21:40

Crying with laughter over here

LoneRangerTime · 05/01/2018 21:44

Talking to a customer I got tonge tied and instead of saying if they needed anything else not to hesitate to contact me, I ended up saying if they needed anything to not contact me. they didn't pick up on it.

Also made a typo and signed off an email kind retards. This went to another staff member not a customer!!

KasunnaMattata · 05/01/2018 21:50

Colleague from across the office: KM, I'm so stealing your dress- it's gorgeous!
Me: you can have it!
Colleague: only joking! I'll never fit into that!
Me: oh you will, it's actually quite big and roomy- I've just cinched in the waist with a belt...
Everybody else in the office looked up and mouthed 'Ouch'.

The worst thing is I tried justifying what I had meant but it was too late. I'd blushed from the tips of my toes to the tips of my hair by this point.

isthismummy · 05/01/2018 21:56

As a teenager I once remarked while in a small group that I hated the name Natalie.

Yes, one of the other girls was called NatalieBlush

KC225 · 05/01/2018 22:00

Years ago at work, four of us had just completed a challenging project and I enthusiastically suggested we all go out and get totally legless. Cue awkward silence, until the wheelchair user piped up 'And wheel less'

Still makes me cringe

EdinaMonsoon · 05/01/2018 22:04

I needed this thread today! Brilliant responses :).

My own personal gaffe took place this afternoon and was definitely some much needed levity to an emotional situation. I should say upfront that I love my son very much and I don't find his predicament remotely amusing - on the contrary, I am actually feeling very scared for him right now.

I had to call the local hospital Urology department to arrange an appointment for DS (17) who has a lump in his testicle. The very kind woman I spoke to was very sympathetic & was apologetic for not being able to fit him in sooner. My response was "well, it wouldn't be such a huge concern if he hadn't been sitting on it for 2 months". I meant, of course, the fact that he had been concealing the lump & discomfort from me. We were both silent for a beat and then both burst out laughing!!

ConjugalHoliday · 05/01/2018 22:05

Emailed a colleague - 'Hi (her name)' which inexplicably autocorrected to 'Jew'. Yes, she is Jewish. I was so Blush.

KasunnaMattata · 05/01/2018 22:11

Emailed a colleague - 'Hi (her name)' which inexplicably autocorrected to 'Jew'. Yes, she is Jewish. I was so .

Hahahaha! That made me seriously LOL!

This thread should be nominated for MN classics!

ItMadeMyEyesWater · 05/01/2018 22:11

EdinaMonsoon hope everything turns out okay for your son.

Aldilogue · 05/01/2018 22:21

Rebeccaslicker your dad!! That's hilarious😂😂

EdinaMonsoon · 05/01/2018 22:33

ItMadeMyEyesWater Thank you x

YouStoleTheBowlFromTheRoom · 05/01/2018 22:43

I had a friend round for dinner: lovely woman, Black feminist activist. I was about to get back to the stove, only to find her handling several things at once.

Me, a total dick, leans back against the counter and makes a big show of relaxing: “Ooh, I tell you something; it’s not bad having your own personal slave...”

She made no sign of having heard me and I can’t bear to ask. I have no idea what possessed me but it physically hurts to recall it 🙊😭

YouStoleTheBowlFromTheRoom · 05/01/2018 22:45

Another, from a friend this time. She worked in a pub where kids were allowed but not at the bar.

She’d just called out a reminder that children couldn’t be there, when she spotted yet another child and yelled, “I said NO KIDS AT THE BAR.”

Only it wasn’t a kid, it was a man with dwarfism.

MsHarry · 05/01/2018 22:47

Edina an ex bf of mine had the same at 18. All was well. Hope the same for you. Sometimes you need to laugh to let off some tension.

YouStoleTheBowlFromTheRoom · 05/01/2018 22:48

Good wishes to you, Edina Flowers

jaychops · 05/01/2018 23:02

Walking into the wake after my uncle's funeral, the venue had put some music on. The song as we all arrived was Staying Alive by the Bee Gees Blush

CommanderDaisy · 05/01/2018 23:03

One of my closest friends was dying. He had about a week to live, and it was the same week of my birthday.
We were sitting in hospital with his wife talking , and he brought up my birthday and the timing.
My response was
"If you die on my birthday, I'll kill you. "

There was 5 seconnds of stunned silence from all of us, then we burst into semi-hysterical shrieks of laughter.

JaneyGotAGun · 05/01/2018 23:04

"Was with my boyfriend (now husband) and looked at a photo in his lounge of a white haired person ziplinning.
‘Cool granddad’ I said.
‘That’s my mum,’ he replied.
Jesus wept. I slipped through the imaginary hole in the ground."

Actual tears at this! 😂

DeathByMascara · 05/01/2018 23:07

My dad’s funeral was a couple of days ago, he passed away after an 18 month battle with leukaemia. He was a very popular man, loads of people turned up and my mum, brothers and I spent the whole wake trying to mingle with those who had turned up.

As people were leaving, one particular friend tried to say goodbye to my mum. He also has leukaemia but an untreated type, he’s monitored at the moment. He approached Mum saying ‘I’m next’, to which Mum responded ‘oh no, you have to stay positive, you’ve done so well!’ He replied ‘I meant I was next to hug you’

😂

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 05/01/2018 23:09

I was introduced to a friend of a friend who had just moved to our city. We were getting on like a house on fire...laughing and joking like we'd known each other for ages and then I asked her which other bars she had been in that night. She mentioned one and I said "Oh you don't want to go in there...it's full of lesbians!!!"

Tumbleweed.

KenDoddsDadsDogIsDead · 05/01/2018 23:20

A male work colleague announced he was to become a father.
Whilst everyone else offered their congratulations...I said " are you sure it's yours?"
I don't know what possessed me and I still cringe to this day.

HexeSauerkraut · 05/01/2018 23:21

When I was 19 I had a job working in a bookshop, in a small town. It was summer and I was new and there were a few tourists around. A sporty looking couple came in and asked me if we had anything on local psychopaths. I showed them to a recently published book on Fred West. They were from Yorkshire. They looked confused and repeated their request. I was so shocked I said loudly "oooohhhhh! You mean Cycle paaaatthhss!" Tleft without making a purchase, even though I did try to salvage it...BlushBlush

Still brings me out in a cold sweat.

DarkDarkNight · 05/01/2018 23:30

Hexe 😂

Curlyshabtree · 05/01/2018 23:32

I once told my (very handsome) dentist that I was an animal in bed. I meant to say “I sound like an animal” due to my teeth grinding Grin