I hate my baby

[Somebodyhelpmeplease]

He is safe with me I would never harm him. I don’t know what to do. He cries all day and all night he sleeps a total of around 4/24 hours all day the rest of it he is crying. He cries when I’m feeding him. He cries when I’m holding him. I’ve tried all the potions under the sun the doctors have given him for reflux etc but nothing helps. Health visitors don’t help, my family don’t help, nobody can help. I’ve tried keeping him close and I’ve tried getting him used to being put down. I’ve tried white noise. I’ve tried a jumperoo. I’ve tried swaddling. I’m always consistent with what I’m trying but nothing helps. I have two other children who he wakes all night long. One has to go to school exhausted every day. It’s been 5 months of torture, I honestly feel like climbing out of my window and jumping, if it wasn’t for my other children I probably would. Help me. I know other people have been through this. What Can I do?

Excellent advice user. I second heading to a local children's centre if you have one.

Sorry, just realised that I should have said head to your local children's centre today if you can. Good luck. Sending virtual

I second camping in the GP surgery waiting room for a couple of hours! Let them see that it really is bad - use the power of the receptionist to your advantage. Make sure you mention that your health visitor will not take / return your calls.

Good luck

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I went through something similar with my 2nd child. It ended up being an allergy to dairy.

By the time we figured it out, I was an emotional wreck and so tired of trying different things. I hated it when people made suggestions, and I really regretted having her. I felt like she had ruined our family. We had a such a nice happy family before, but after she was born everything was horrid.

It was such a dark place to be BUT eventually we got her sorted out, and those feelings passed. She grew into a wonderful child, and then an amazing young woman. She's home from uni for a visit right now and she is the light of my life.

You've gotten so much good advice on this thread and mine is to know that the feelings you have right now, although very real, will pass. Someday, these feelings will just be a memory. Don't beat yourself up over your feelings, just remind yourself that just like the weather, they will change without you doing anything to force them to change.

Hi OP. I haven’t read all the replies I’m afraid but just to agree with absofrigginlootly. I’m a GP and you don’t need a referral. This doesn’t sound like an allergy that needs specific testing by paediatricians. You can be trialled on hydrolysed milk without a referral. I’ll warn you it smells horrible, but it may just do the trick here. We usually used Aptamil Pepti but Nutramigen is an alternative. If the trial is successful you will know within 10days but often sooner - just takes a while for the gut to settle after you’ve eliminated the milk protein. You will then need a dietician referral to help with dietary management over weaning and reintroduction of milk as baby gets older (usually >1yr).

Was going to post this as extra support for what they should be giving you (it’s from a NICE guideline website we use a lot in primary care).

There’s been a lot of stuff coming our way about CMPA in recent years so it’s a shame your GP isn’t more up on it. Sadly there is so much for us to know that sometimes things do fall through the net but it’s definitely worth fighting your corner here.

If your family won’t have the baby because they ‘know what he’s like’, could they instead help you by coming to the GP with and explaining that this is way beyond ‘babies cry, get over it’?

Just wanted to say that you have done awesomely well to hang in there so long.
I had some feeding problems with DD - nothing on this scale - but they felt tough and worrying at the time. It turned out that she was in pain from damage done during a difficult birth. I did a couple of cranial osteopathy sessions which helped greatly. Perhaps another avenue to consider if she doesn't turn out to have an allergy.

Hi all he slept 3-5 as usual and has been crying since. I do have a great friend that helps me when she’s not working but she has a young child of her own and I don’t really have any others that live locally. I will definitely find the closest weighing clinic and attend thank you I didn’t even think of that, I get really nervous to leave the house with him now so have probably subconsciously avoided them! Just getting the information ready for the doctor Can I ask if all the babies withe the intolerances and allergies had any other symptoms than the constant crying? Thank you all so much

Please go back to your GP and ask to see a specialist Dietitian or Paediatrician.

My DD has a milk allergy. Her symptoms were
constant crying/screaming
rash from head to toe (was told it was viral/heat rash for months & months)
sore red flaky face
green snot constant
watery nappy - every time
projectile vomiting after formula

I was BF as well. I bought Colief to mix with the milk.

We did get a diagnosis after a very very long time.

My son had very flaky dry skin in some areas and eczema patches over his body - that also improved massively when I removed dairy
from my diet.

Refusal to feed and not sleeping are big indicators of CMPI.

Diarrhoea, green, mucousy nappies are also a sign of CMPI.

Reflux also usually comes hand in hand with a CMPI but the baby doesn't necessarily vomit.

Sometimes there can be issues with the baby's weight if they can't absorb nutrients properly, but others baby's weight can be fine.

Other symptoms were struggling through feeds, back arching, legs kicking, coming on and off the bottle constantly. DS also had a red bottom, apparently this is due to quite acidic bowel movements. In terms of silent reflux he smelled really vinegary which was one of the big indicators that there was actually a reflux issue as he wasn’t spitting up much at all (due to not actually feeding much)! Our biggest fight was because he was still maintaining and gaining weight and drs seem reluctant to accept anything is wrong so long as a baby is continually maintaining weight according to the magic line in the red book!

Also congestion, snuffly, sneezing etc are also signs of CMPI which my son had. He frequently seemed snotty.

I think the Allergy UK website have a checklist you can print off?

Mine was projectile vomiting, wheezing and back arching. When I got her on the formula her symptoms changed overnight. It needs to be protein free formula otherwise symptoms will quickly come back.

My baby has cmpa...whilst she didn't cry too much she:
Had incredibly dry skin, felt like sand paper
Grunted and groaned all night
Mucus nappies
Blood in stools
Eventually she had a poo that was just blood , like a nose bleed from the bum. Was taken to a an e and instantly diagnosed.

Good luck today op, hope you get the support you need.

I have nothing to add, lots of useful information but for you!

This will pass.

My ds was crying all the time, it was exhausting. There was a sign, he was covered in eczema, but no one actually spotted until one HV referred us to allergy clinic. He was allergic to almost everything(dairy, wheat, egg and many others), so he was crying because he was in constant pain.
Once I went on restricted diet(was BF), he became very happy and smiling baby.

Everything Absofrigginlootly said.

Please do not leave the doctors until they have given you these three things:

• Prescription for Nutrimagen or other CMP-free formula
• Prescription for 20mg omeprazole
• Specialist referral (paediatrician or allergy specialist)

If you don’t get those three things then go straight to A&E.

I think the doctors have completely failed you and your baby up to this point.

@NameChange30
" Prescription for 20mg omeprazole " my ds was prescribed with them before diagnosis of allergy. But doesn't that mask the symptoms if the cause was allergy rather than reflux?

Sorry to hear this OP. I literally demanded allergy milk from the GP. Soy milk won't help, or often Aptamil Pepti because although that is hydrolysed they still contain cows milk proteins broken down, so you may need Neocate, or SMA Alfamino.
Good luck

The thought of anybody saying 'babies do cry' to a mother of three children and a midwife in training makes me want to weep. to you. I think you are going to be an awesome midwife and you are a great mum right now.

Since your family are clearly useless

Sorry posted too soon. I've got no suggestions about your extended family!

Good luck for today

irvineoneohone
It sounds like the baby has symptoms of both and the two often go together. IMO this baby is clearly in pain and needs immediate relief, so I would give hypoallergenic formula and omeprazole, then only try eliminating one (to see whether one or both are helping) after baby seems better.
My DS also had symptoms of both - although nowhere near as bad as OP’s baby - and that’s what the paediatrician told us to do. She has referred to a dietician and suggested stopping omeprazole before reintroducing dairy.

Also it takes a few weeks for all the dairy to get out of baby’s system and they need relief in the meantime.

Good luck today OP