I hate my baby

[Somebodyhelpmeplease]

He is safe with me I would never harm him. I don’t know what to do. He cries all day and all night he sleeps a total of around 4/24 hours all day the rest of it he is crying. He cries when I’m feeding him. He cries when I’m holding him. I’ve tried all the potions under the sun the doctors have given him for reflux etc but nothing helps. Health visitors don’t help, my family don’t help, nobody can help. I’ve tried keeping him close and I’ve tried getting him used to being put down. I’ve tried white noise. I’ve tried a jumperoo. I’ve tried swaddling. I’m always consistent with what I’m trying but nothing helps. I have two other children who he wakes all night long. One has to go to school exhausted every day. It’s been 5 months of torture, I honestly feel like climbing out of my window and jumping, if it wasn’t for my other children I probably would. Help me. I know other people have been through this. What Can I do?

Oh sweetheart,what a nightmare,that feels like it will never end. I know telling you,it will pass eventually,is no good to you right now! Is he too young for nursery or creche or something like that? I say this,because not only will it give you a break,but if some other people caring for him regularly,(people who do this as a profession),may be able to figure out why he's being like this,and even change this whole routine of madness,for you,him and your other children.

Some GPs call parents who bring their continuously crying babies to see them their ‘heart sink’ patients. It makes me so angry and hurt.

amoregentleman not a GP though!
Show me the randomised controlled trial data for cranial osteopathyand I would be happy to read. There have been cases where forced manipulation of an infants neck and head have caused damage to major blood vessels to the neck or to vertebrae themselves and subsequent deaths.
What governing body to cranial osteopathy have?

*do

namechange30
I disagree the advice to increase ranitidine and to consider earlier weaning is not “woefully inadequate” as this is the correct treatment for reflux. It is very difficult to tell in a thriving but unsettled baby ( ie one following growth centiles) if it is reflux or CMPI so sometimes a trial of treatment for one thing then a period of time to look for a response is appropriate. The baby does not have faltering growth here.
I absolutely agree that the GPs understanding of how poor OP is truly feeling about all of this is woefully inadequate. I see many Mums in scenarios like this and don’t care if my surgeries run late because I spend a lot of time talking and formulating a plantigethervwirh them. That’s why I was encouraging the OP to go back and see another GP because like anything in life, we are not all the same

Fat fingers! *together with them!

I hope you managed to get some sleep or help last night OP.

If you are breastfeeding, your baby may still not be getting enough.
Babies who are hungry typically lose weight and they conserve energy by sleeping a lot, so that it typically is difficult to wake them to feed properly. They don't grow and scream non-stop.

I haven’t read the whole thread, so apologies if I say anything that has been said before. My second child had severe oesophageal reflux and he simply cried all day and all night, I was like a zombie for the first few months and also had an incredibly unhelpful husband whose only input was to tell everybody I had PND (which I didn’t) and that I was neurotic. My son was on Gaviscon powders, Ranitidine AND Domperidone - Domperidone was the last medication to be added to his cocktail and made the most difference. He refused to lay on his back and would only settle on his stomach, with something solid under him (I.e. In a proper pram, in a cot), he hated the Moses basket. I had to feed him a couple of oz every 2 hours in the beginning (breastfeeding went out the window as he vomited quicker than I could produce). It was soul destroying in the beginning and I didn’t know what to do for the best, even as a Midwife/Nurse!
Hang in there, enquirer about Domperidone and good luck!
P.s. Try to ignore the platitudes of well-wishing friends who think you just have a ‘sicky baby’, they mean well but won’t have a clue x

Hello OP , first of all I am sending you a big hug. My second child screamed and could not be put down for 3 months. I developed severe PND as a result. This turns out to be reflux. All the things like bouncing, rocking and car trips just made it worse and he would not sleep lying flat. I had a maternity nurse super nanny out for a consultation at 12 weeks. Best £200 ever spent for her to come for 24 hours. She gave me a good nights sleep and had lots of suggestions. One thing was to give the gaviscon into the baby’s cheek in a small volume of water immediately before the feed. She also had me covering the cot with a dark coloured Muslim at nap time to reduce stimulation. Please tell us where abouts you live . I am sure there will be a MNer with a good recommendation. Bugger the cost - your sanity and family are worth it.

“covering the cot with a dark coloured Muslim”

😂 great typo!

Seriously though been thinking of you OP. Hope you manage(d) to go to out of hours or A&E this weekend and get more help.

Osteopath is a controlled term I think? Like solicitor, etc?

As for GPs, I appreciate they have expertise on many things. But on other things their knowledge is a bit thin, inevitably.

My osteopath refers a good third of her references back to the gp. I think they are trained to rule n and rule out musculoskeletal conditions.

I spent 6 months solely training in paediatrics followed by 18 months seeing children as a GP registrar. Ask your osteopath how much time they have spent training directly with children.
Please be clear, I’m not against osteopaths in general, it is cranial osteopathy in newborns I have an issue with. You did nt comment on my previous point regarding safety and mortality relating to cranial osteopathy in newborns?
A GP has a grounding in all areas hence the term “general” practitioner. If they don’t the answer to something it is their job to signpost appropriately.
I’ve spent years training for my qualifications and it amazes me that people hold more respect for way less qualified individuals.
I don’t want to derail this thread, so will say no more. OP I hope you can get back to a GP who really listens to you

"You did nt comment on my previous point regarding safety and mortality relating to cranial osteopathy in newborns?"

I don't do debate on mumsnet!too much like the day job.
Thanks for clarifying issue re infants v osteos

OP, are you ok? I have been following this post and haven’t had an update from you in a couple of days x

Hopefully, she is asleep!

I was thinking the same,I really do hope she is ok.

They don't need to see an osteopath for pity's sake. They need to see a paediatrician. This is total bread and butter (dairy free alternatives exist) paediatrics.

Hello sorry I’ve not updated have not had chance to sit and read all replies until now. I couldn’t bring myself to waste resources at the hospital so insisted the GP surgery allow me to make an appointment in advance (which is against their policy apparently) to see the only doctor that has been helpful, the first one that agreed something wasn’t right and initially prescribed gaviscon etc. Since then I’d not been able to get an appointment with her. I purchased Nutramigen myself to trial and am following the current advise as there’s not much else I can do. Just holding onto the fact that it will eventually get better. All the personal experiences shared have given me some strength and hope for my son and I thank you for reaching out to help a stranger in need.

Cranial osteopathy would be financially challenging for us we really are at the mercy of the nhs.

Cranial osteopaths are equivalent to homeopaths, they aren't "health professionals"

OP I hope the GP is helpful

Osteopaths most certainly are health professionals. Have a look at the NHS website.

Newbiecat Cranial osteopaths (and all osteopaths) are governed by the General Osteopathic Council. It's a registered profession.

There is no evidence that cranial osteopathy works (beyond anecdotal) and many osteopaths think it's a load of rubbish.

Are you confusing cranial osteopaths and osteopaths? COs don't manipulate bones, they feel for and align a 'cranial rhythm' (its woo)