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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate my baby

332 replies

Somebodyhelpmeplease · 05/01/2018 01:17

He is safe with me I would never harm him. I don’t know what to do. He cries all day and all night he sleeps a total of around 4/24 hours all day the rest of it he is crying. He cries when I’m feeding him. He cries when I’m holding him. I’ve tried all the potions under the sun the doctors have given him for reflux etc but nothing helps. Health visitors don’t help, my family don’t help, nobody can help. I’ve tried keeping him close and I’ve tried getting him used to being put down. I’ve tried white noise. I’ve tried a jumperoo. I’ve tried swaddling. I’m always consistent with what I’m trying but nothing helps. I have two other children who he wakes all night long. One has to go to school exhausted every day. It’s been 5 months of torture, I honestly feel like climbing out of my window and jumping, if it wasn’t for my other children I probably would. Help me. I know other people have been through this. What Can I do?

OP posts:
Dontknowwherethelineis · 05/01/2018 22:42

Adenoids!

mummymummums · 05/01/2018 23:02

Another one here who had brilliant results with cranial osteopathy. My daughter screamed and cried for her first months. The longest she ever slept until then was 45 mins. She was awake for 14 hours stretches even as a newborn.
The osteopathy helped, but she also suddenly became a really happy child when she started walking at 9 months. She's 10 now and got ADHD and I genuinely believe that much of her early upset was due to her need to be stimulated and active all the time. Not saying this is the case with you but there's many possible reasons. Since 9 months old my DD is now a very happy child and sleeps for England!

Dermymc · 05/01/2018 23:10

How are you OP?

Your posts are so desperate, I hope you get help. Flowers

Bitlost · 05/01/2018 23:15

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. My advice would be to go and see a paediatrician if you can.

Draylon · 05/01/2018 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Absofrigginlootly · 06/01/2018 01:59

No one takes you seriously if you're baby isn't dropping centiles however they don't look at the sheer amount of effort, persistence and emotional stress it takes to keep a baby gaining weight when they are that distressed all the time. I really feel for you.

This with bells on.

My DD actully went up 2 centiles because she was BF constantly - she was comfort sucking because the milk helped to soothe the burning in her throats from the silent reflux. It's not uncommon. Reflux babies tend to suffer with feeding aversions OR they over feed/comfort feed.

Stupid fucking useless GP! I'm so angry on your behalf OP. Mine was the same.... told me I "needed to adjust my expectations" ???!!!! Hmm

My HV was also a wet flannel. My GP did do a peds referral and prescribe ranitidine on my insistence. And from advice I got on MN I went on a strict dairy and spy milk exclusion diet which helped. My neighbour was a HV and advised that current peds referrals were taking 1-2 months and hinted about going to a&e so that's what we did. As I said before my DD was diagnosed instantly.

I was and still am 3 years later SO angry that my baby was left undiagnosed and in pain for 7 weeks despite me going to the Drs several times before getting the right treatment. It really did get better quickly once the exclusion diet and omeprazole kicked in. Hang in there.

Absofrigginlootly · 06/01/2018 02:09

Also just to add OP, I used to work in HV. I worked in the baby clinic and saw hundreds of babies.

You are not going mad. This is not normal. Your baby is not supposed to be this unsettled. Something is wrong. Once the issue is identified and addressed things will get better. This too shall pass FlowersCakeWineBrew

Newbiecat · 06/01/2018 02:25

Hi OP. I was really sad to read your post. What a hard time you’re having. 5 months in, that alone should raise red flags to any GP, experienced in paediatrics or not. I’m very surprised your GP issued soya milk - that is very much against advice under 6/12 as there is cross reactivity with dairy.
Your last GP was right to increase ranitidine and advise early weaning but it doesn’t sound as though they really took onboard your concerns and expectations.
Not all GPs are useless I promise you. Why don’t you give the current advice 10 days or so and go back to another GP if no further forward? I would refer you to paeds definitely. CMPI sounds highly up on my list.
Please don’t waste your money/time on cranial osteopathy- there is not robust clinical evidence that it works and I have seen it do harm on occasion.
Best of luck Flowers

Weezol · 06/01/2018 02:36

Although this is no direct help to you, my friend is a Paeds a&e doctor and she and many of her colleagues loathe the way that too many GPs fob parents off.

I mentioned this thread to her and she says some shifts there can be three or four knackered families and their suffering babies waiting to be seen.

She just can't wrap her head around how any doctor seeing a patient (of any age) in such pain can be so dismissive.

I hope you get some help soon. Brew

Absofrigginlootly · 06/01/2018 03:29

Oh yes I meant to comment on the early weaning.... I'm not sure why the GP advised that?? As far as I am aware the guidelines are still that waiting until 6 months to wean is best, especially from a food allergies point of view. I really think you need a diagnosis and Dieticians advice before weaning anyway - as I think you will have to do dairy and soy free weaning with your Lo

Absofrigginlootly · 06/01/2018 03:34

Weezol yes!!!! My GP actually said "well she's not crying right now is she??"

Uh yeh because a 10 minute snap shot is representative of a full 24 hour period isn't it??!! Hmm

Flopjustwantscoffee · 06/01/2018 03:38

Well, one of the advantages of early weaning is that it can bring matters to the fore.mine had CMPA, but he was never as bad as the ops I suspect because I hate the taste of milk so it wasn't being regularly being transmitted in my breast milk. The times he was really unhappy I assumed were something else... but when I was weaning him he had a very immediate and very obvious reaction to yoghurt (red rash all over face as well as explosive tummy) so the doctor was happy to immediately diagnose CMPA. However.... the OP shouldn't need to do this to be taken seriously, and it could be dangerous anyway. If you do wean now I suggest being careful about introducing dairy and eggs-start with very small amounts and work up and don't do both at the same time (so if he does have a reaction you know what's causing it)

Absofrigginlootly · 06/01/2018 04:03

If you wean before 6 months you need to avoid all potential food allergens: dairy, soy, egg, fish etc. The evidence suggests that you can actually make food sensitivities worse if you introduce these things before 6 months..... unless the research has changed drastically since I stopped practicing a few years ago??

Newbiecat · 06/01/2018 04:17

Earlier weaning is recommended by paeds for babies with reflux mainly not CMPA but in an unsettled infant our paeds would recommend it tho I agree clearly dairy should be avoided and a paeds dietician would be a useful source of guidance

ohtheholidays · 06/01/2018 04:20

Another one that had a baby that would not sleep,I took my DS to an osteopath and it really did help,that was 19 years ago now and I had no idea what to do and he was 18 months by the time I'd found out about cranial osteopathy and it really did work and the younger the baby is the quicker it is supposed to work.

With my youngest(we have 5DC)the only thing that soothed her apart from being on the breast constantly(which left me with exhaustion)was being in a swing,one of the motorised one's,we got ours from toys r us and it was the best £100 I have ever spent in the whole of my life.

Fingers crossed for you that you find something that helps and quickly,I can still remember what those days felt like(I felt like a zombie plodding along on auto pilot)if you were any closer I'd offer to help out with your LO,I know how exhausting it feels and how it can make you feel very emotionally vunerable. Flowers

Newbiecat · 06/01/2018 04:30

ohtheholidays there is NO evidence that cranial osteopathy works! I say this as a healthcare professional. It is expensive and I think we should focus on supporting op to get more success with her GP rather than people keep mentioning cranial osteopathy.

NameChange30 · 06/01/2018 06:48

I actually took DS to two different osteopaths (one full consultation and another for a brief assessment) and they both said they couldn’t do anything about the reflux. Makes sense because there’s no way an osteopath can do anything about stomach acid in the œsophagus. What they can do is identify whether the baby is in any pain or discomfort as a result of the birth - sometimes there is tension or misalignment that an osteopath can resolve.

So it could be worth seeing an osteopath just in case but based on the symptoms I don’t think it will be a magic fix.

NameChange30 · 06/01/2018 06:59

“Why don’t you give the current advice 10 days”
Because the current advice is woefully inadequate, she and her baby have already been suffering for months, and they shouldn’t have to suffer without adequate help for another 10 days.
It takes a few weeks for cows milk protein to leave a baby’s system, it takes a few days at least for meds to kick in, and it takes god knows how long for a paeds referral to actually materialise into an appointment. They need all three NOW.

bluesheets · 06/01/2018 07:19

Did you go to A&E last night OP?

LoveProsecco · 06/01/2018 07:22

Thinking of you OP. I hope you tried a&E as I'm so disappointed at the lack of help from your GP & HV

ThatsWotSheSaid · 06/01/2018 07:34

Hope you got some help OP.

CommonFishDiseases · 06/01/2018 07:57

My goodness OP, you are one inspiring woman. And an amazing mum, clearly.

Sending you love and positive vibes today (from a total stranger also in the Midlands - hello!)

AnnaT45 · 06/01/2018 11:20

I feel you OP my first was like this, was truly awful. It was a dairy, fruit and gluten allergy (I was breastfeeding) we figured out diary quickly but took ages for the others.

Go to a different GP. Film your baby when they're at the worse, then show it to them. You're not a first time Mum so im unimpressed with your GP attitude (not that being a first time Mum matters but you could understand some hesitation from them based on PFB)

Go to a&e or out of hours. They will know you're desperate if you're doing that. Good luck

Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 06/01/2018 12:44

" there is NO evidence that cranial osteopathy works! I say this as a healthcare professional. "
But osteopaths are health professionals too!