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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate my baby

332 replies

Somebodyhelpmeplease · 05/01/2018 01:17

He is safe with me I would never harm him. I don’t know what to do. He cries all day and all night he sleeps a total of around 4/24 hours all day the rest of it he is crying. He cries when I’m feeding him. He cries when I’m holding him. I’ve tried all the potions under the sun the doctors have given him for reflux etc but nothing helps. Health visitors don’t help, my family don’t help, nobody can help. I’ve tried keeping him close and I’ve tried getting him used to being put down. I’ve tried white noise. I’ve tried a jumperoo. I’ve tried swaddling. I’m always consistent with what I’m trying but nothing helps. I have two other children who he wakes all night long. One has to go to school exhausted every day. It’s been 5 months of torture, I honestly feel like climbing out of my window and jumping, if it wasn’t for my other children I probably would. Help me. I know other people have been through this. What Can I do?

OP posts:
Vintagegoth · 05/01/2018 19:49

Sending Flowers. Seconding all the comments about cow’s milk protein allergy. DD1 was a shocker. Barely slept. Cried all the time. Lots of rubbish from HVs and GPs. She got even worse after weaning. Stick to your guns and keep asking for help from GPs. It does get better, but you are in the eye of the storm just now. You can get through this. Good luck.

Tippz · 05/01/2018 19:51

Haven't RTFT so sorry if this has been asked.

Could your baby be hungry?

If you are breastfeeding, your baby may still not be getting enough.

Could it be colic? Teething?

I hope you will be OK soon.

5amisnotmorning · 05/01/2018 19:52

Silent reflux here too from cmpi and soya intolerance and second child the same but allergies instead of intolerance. I went to the gp every day until I got a paediatric referral, medication and neocate prescribed. It took 3 days.

HobbyHorseGO · 05/01/2018 19:55

tippz

Yeah, I'm sure the op hasn't thought of hunger Hmm

Jesus wept, read the thread or don't comment.

phoenix1973 · 05/01/2018 19:56

I second Dr Browns bottles. My baby had terrible wind whilst feeding and she was in pain. Those bottles made an INSTANT AND PERMANENT IMPROVEMENT.
ALSO try facing baby out when you cuddle. My baby was MUCH happier

Tippz · 05/01/2018 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pasithea · 05/01/2018 19:58

Try osteopathy. I have a friend who does it and specialises in unsettled babies. Apparently it’s to doo with the speed of the second phase of birth.

HobbyHorseGO · 05/01/2018 20:05

Oh come off it tippz, you surely didn't think that in over 3 pages of posts, no one had suggested hunger?

I had a baby like this and it was SO ANNOYING having every idiot under the sun saying "have you tried feeding him?"

soontobeamum1982 · 05/01/2018 20:08

This is so hard. It is utterly awful. I have been there.

How old is your baby?

This is the hardest thing to hear but it DOES get better. Mine was just like this, and for a long time, but now cries less than 2 hours a day. It took til about 14 weeks to see a real change in her.

I also tried all the potions under the sun. TBH I think she just hated being out in the world and needed time to recover from a traumatic birth (shame she didn't give me any time to do the same!)

Hang in there xxx

Creatureofthenight · 05/01/2018 20:09

Tippz the OP says on about the 10th post that she’s not breastfeeding. And it’s not unreasonable to think that in over 200 posts hunger, colic and teething will have been suggested.

Tallulahoola · 05/01/2018 20:12

I feel for you. DD was a bit like this. Part of it was reflux and feeding problems but she changed at 6 months and it might sound odd to say but I always felt that she didn't enjoy being a small baby. She found everything frustrating. Once she could crawl around and do her own thing, she was almost a different baby. So hang in there, with time it will change Flowers

Tallulahoola · 05/01/2018 20:15

Tippz sorry everyone is giving you a hard time. For the first 3 months of her life my DD really was hungry (trying to breastfeed and failing) and it took someone pointing it out to me for the penny to drop. It doesn't seem to be the case here, but you're only trying to help

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 05/01/2018 20:16

Oh OP this takes me back. My DD had awful silent reflux and was like your DS is. It's so, so hard. Thanks My DD didn't have any allergies but reflux and allergies do often go hand in hand it's quite common to have both.

We didn't see any improvement until we saw a paediatrician and had both ranitidine and omeprazole, plus we changed to Dr Brown's vented bottles which were great. The silent reflux went by around 8 months. I also got fobbed off, and was repeatedly told 'maybe that's just how she eats' (she was a feed refuser as well as a crier) and 'she's just a bit colicky'. I got a referral when I saw the GP for about the fifth time, made a huge complaint to the practice manager and refused to leave his office without a referral.

I hope your DS is like my DD as he grows - she was a horrendously difficult baby but she's an absolute dream of a toddler! She's my first too, how I'm having another I don't know

DeStijl · 05/01/2018 20:16

tippz even if she was breastfeeding, way to undermine it! If breastfed babies are hungry you just keep feeding them, just like you'd give a bottle fed baby more milk. I'm sure after 5 months OP would've realised if it was just hunger Hmm

OP I really hope 111 are helpful. This was such an upsetting read, I can't believe you've managed to get through months of this with your sanity intact! Please keep us updated Flowers

Tini17 · 05/01/2018 20:28

So sorry you are having such rubbish time.
Mine had awful, awful silent reflux but we fell lucky and GP was fantastic and sympathetic and got us sorted super quick.
It eased off lots once she was weaned.
Osteo helped too.
Sending big hugs.

seven201 · 05/01/2018 20:33

Sorry I've only ready all your posts, not anyone's replies properly. My daughter was like that. Screamed all day and night. She has cow's milk protein allergy and silent reflux. The only thing that worked was nutramigen and ranitidine plus omeperazole . She's approaching 19 months and still on all of those. I had sooo many gp appointments where I came away feeling like a piece of shit. It's all about getting the right gp. My daughter finally started sleeping at night at 9 months when I finally saw a gp who would prescribe omeperazole (if asked for it from about 3 months and was told I didn't need it). Keep trying and ask to see a different gp. Remember it takes weeks for the milk protein to leave heir system so it won't be an instant fix. My dd still has some nights where she writhes around like she's possessed by the devil so we think she must be allergic to something else, but we don't know what. Do not give up and it honestly will get better x

captaincake · 05/01/2018 20:37

This was me 3 years ago (only without older siblings). Eventually discovered DS had multiple allergies/intolerances and severe reflux and such large tonsils that caused sleep apnea - it took till age 3 to get that operation so he basically didn't sleep till then. He ended up on neocate formula after I had to stop breastfeeding because we couldn't figure out all the foods he was reacting too. Also omeprazole after ranitidine stopped working. At one point he had to go on domperidone too as even with 48hrs on dioralyte only in hospital he still couldn't hold a single sip of anything down. We stopped EVER laying him down even close to flat, even a nappy change was on a wedge.

guest477337 · 05/01/2018 20:40

Have you maybe tried going to a walk in centre when he's really bad?

I know it's not an emergency but maybe a dr there will refer you? Or ask to speak o another doctor. Explain how bad it's making you feel and maybe they may help.

schmoozypoo · 05/01/2018 21:09

I feel for you OP my son had a milk protein allergy and it was horrific. We went down the same route as you but nothing helped. He was in pain, uncomfortable with farts but poo was fine. He cried lots and only slept for a few hours at a time at night and 20 mins max in the day. He wanted to be happy but was it too much discomfort. In the end I bi-passed the health visitor and went straight to the GP and demanded he did something within 24 hours of the prescription milk he was 100% better and the happy boy he us today. 6 months on our life us totally different. I remember the tears and tiredness but now I actually enjoy him so much, his happiness and our family unit. Good luck

Ham69 · 05/01/2018 21:44

Op, This was my DD! I look at her now (8) and can’t believe what an utter nightmare she was! For the first 2 years of her life, I wondered what i’d produced! Just horrific. She woke every 30 mins and I had an hour window in the morning when she didn’t cry. After that it was constant. I had her in a cloth sling as I couldn't put her down. I even had neighbours knocking to check if things were ok!
So much empathy for you. I like to believe that no one is let off the hook completely and you are going through it now. I can honestly say my dd is the most beautifully natured child now. Caring, calm and just gorgeous. Please just take one day at a time. It WILL get easier. Sending hugs (and plenty of wine!)

Tippz · 05/01/2018 22:15

@tallulahoola

Tippz sorry everyone is giving you a hard time. For the first 3 months of her life my DD really was hungry (trying to breastfeed and failing) and it took someone pointing it out to me for the penny to drop. It doesn't seem to be the case here, but you're only trying to help

Thank you. Smile

Don't worry. I don't let baiters get to me. Some people will try and make something negative out of ANYthing, and will do their utmost to argue. I guess it livens up their dull lives.

Ignoring them is the best thing to do.

Thanks again. Smile

HobbyHorseGO · 05/01/2018 22:22

Some people will try and make something negative out of ANYthing, and will do their utmost to argue. I guess it livens up their dull lives.

Um no, actually some of us (who have been there) were trying to point out why stating the bleeding obvious to a desperate mother when the thread is already pages long might actually not be that helpful.

Surely you can see that?

Haffiana · 05/01/2018 22:27

Glad you are being helpful again Tippz this time by making the thread about you.

Whichschool2020 · 05/01/2018 22:34

Any update OP? Hope you’re ok. Flowers

Dontknowwherethelineis · 05/01/2018 22:42

Hello how is his, breathing when he is lying down? We has this with dc - never able to sleep for long and crying all night.... Turns out they had enlarged and puds, meaning they couldn't breathe well on their back, and didn't get enough food to fill then up fir long as, it was so difficult feeding with the swallowing V breathing issues they took what they needed to not be starving then obviously became hungry again quickly.
Signs that it may be this include snoring and dribbling a lot of milk when feeding. I kept taking then to Dr and got the sane, really tip as you - some gaviscon infant but otherwise disinterest.

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