To be upset mums at school seem totally disinterested in helping me fundraise

[Kiwikiss1]

My children attend a private school and many of the parents there are fairly comfortable financially. I am running the London Marathon for charity and have started to fundraise. After Christmas, I put a notice on the class FB page saying that if anyone had any excess toys, clothes etc they were planning to get rid of, I would collect it and sell it at a car boot sale and donate all proceeds to my charity. I received no response. I put the same message on my town's community page and received an overwhelming response and now have a shed stuffed full of items to sell.

Tonight I asked a group of school mum friends if they could recommend a restaurant in the town my children's school is located in which would have the space to allow me to hold a fundraising function. I planned to ask the venue to offer a set menu for a discounted price and raffle off donated prizes (such as a restaurant voucher, beauty treatments and free personal training sessions). I only asked as I do not know the town that well as we live in another location. Again, I have received no response (although they have all seen it).

I consider these women to be my friends. We have gone for many nights out and I am always first to donate to any group-brought birthday presents (of which there are many, although I have never been on the receiving end of a gift for my birthday) and offer support if they are going through a tough time. I want to organise a cake sale at school to help fundraise but now I am worried my friends will not be receptive to being asked to donate some goods to sell. Trying to bake everything myself will be a bit of a challenge!

I guess I am just confused as I have always been the first to help them, and now no one seems prepared to help me, even though it is for charity. I am not a fundraising 'bore', this is the first time I have ever asked for any support. AIBU to feel a bit disheartened?

These are the issues:

1. Its just after Christmas, everyone is knackered and tapped out after all the donation requests, buy the kids Xmas decorations, donate while at the carole concert etc that happens in December, esp at private schools. Donation fatigue.

1. What you're asking requires a fair amount of effort. Most women are efforted out on the 4th January after, usually, single handeldly oranising Christmas. General Fatigue

1. Even comfortably off people can feel a bit skint after buying their children the kind of presents well off kids expect, just after a VAT return if they are self employed, just as they are about to have to pay a probably large tax bill if they are high earners. Wallet Fatigue.

My advice would be to ask in February and make it easier i.e GoFundMe page asking for donations that can be transferred quickly and easily. I did this and raised 5K from Feb to the Marathon date.

Those trips abroad where others fund seem to be getting more and more frequent. If an adult wants to do something like that or wants their child too then they pay. Asking others is grasping and greedy.

The reasons for someone's choice of charity can also be a factor - if you are fundraising in memory of a family member, for instance, or for the local hospital who saved or cared for you/your DC/a close friend, that might get more support than if you're just doing a big virtue signal and something that's enjoyable in itself.

(There's a whole other issue around little charities set up with good intentions which replicate the work of other charities and reduce the pool of available donations, but that's probably not an issue here...)

You sound like a pain in the neck. You’ve probably pissed them all off banging on about donating etc.
It’s January no one has any money, they’re exhausted from giving for Christmas then you pop up..... 🤪🤪

Sorry but as per a lot of other posters I find it incredibly annoying when people 'fundraise' so they can do an event.

I will be setting up a JustGiving page, but unfortunately, to raise £2,000 more will be required than relying on people chucking in £5-10

How much are you expecting off people? You listed, what four different fundraisers brick a brac donations for Carbo or sale, restaurant meal/raffle, a just giving page and cake stall at the school. Do you expect them all to donate to all four? It’s just been Christmas!

My job was to fundraise in a care home but we were extremely careful not to over do it on the fundraising because if anything it put people off. We certainly didn’t ask for money just after Christmas. You have got a charity place in a marathon that requires a minimum amount which should be met by yourself not others.

Personally I don’t entertain charities who give set amounts of what people should give because they should be grateful for whatever amount people can spare.

I refuse to sponsor people - but I do give a donation direct to the charity they are doing it for - usually. Justgiving creams off a commission. Also what does running 26 miles achieve for the community or good causes?

Unfortunately, to raise £2,000 more will be required than relying on people chucking in £5-10

That's all people will be happy to chuck in though, OP. If you're after more than that from casual friends, people might get a little irritated.

What is the charity, OP? And do you have any personal connection/reason for choosing this specific one?
DS and I do participate in a fundraiser for a local charity once a year: we do a sponsored walk, which we pay a registration fee for, and invite friends/family to contribute a couple of quid. We generally get a few sponsors, but I do restrict it to once a year when it comes to asking other people to give money.

I do a lot of fundraising for various charities and it's always the same few kind people who seem to help/donate and I find it shocking that so many people can't be bothered especially when the charities have a very broad appeal. I asked colleagues to bring in an item for a hamper just before xmas to raffle for homeless young people (I suggested tins lurking in the backs of cupboards - nothing fancy) and most people ignored it and as usual the same few good hearted souls made donations.

I can't believe the gall of runners whinging that people won't donate £2,000 for them to indulge in a hobby.

Also what does running 26 miles achieve for the community or good causes

Well in my DHs case it will hopefully raise at least £1800 for a national UK charity that supports people in all communities with a common but life threatening condition. If this helps improve the quality of life for a few people with Asthma then that's an achievement to me.

You can’t get upset because they don’t know which restaurants will let you do a fundraiser- it’s such a niche question. I’d have no idea & would find it really odd if anyone was offended by my lack of suggesting anything.
I’d also be a bit by being asked to provide something for you to sell. I think I’d rather chose my own charity to give my things to.
I don’t think you should be judging these people too harshly for not getting over excited about your plans. People have their own stuff going on. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you or are mean people

It sounds like they're not keen on your chosen charity. Is it something that people are likely to have polarised views on?

I agree with PP you need to pay the 2k yourself. If you have to do without some things to do that so be it, that is your act of charity.

Why are you expecting others to make acts of charity on your behalf? They will have their own causes they do that for.

Why not just donate the money yourself op?
How do you know everyone's fairly well off?

it's their money not yours and up to them whether they decide to donate or not.

Just do a JG page and then top it up yourself if needed and concentrate on training for your run

I planned to ask the venue to offer a set menu for a discounted price and raffle off donated prize

So you want everyone else to pay for your marathon place? A random restaurant has to take a hit in profits and someone else has to donate a prize. You have no idea if these mums also have other friends doing the same thing, or family members etc.

Laguna I guess the question is why he needs to run 26.2 miles (plus all the training miles) to raise the money. A lot of overheads which are arguably unnecessary. You argue very well for the charity's interests so could likely raise money just by asking for it!

Why do they want you to contribute financially to birthday presents but don't get you one?

Basically if you want to run a marathon it’s because it’s something you want to do. Same as if you want to cycle London to Paris or walk the Great Wall of China. Go jeep safari in Morocco. These are all things I’ve been asked to contribute towards as they are raising money for charity. Er no.... the main reason is that they want to actually do the activity. Which I find distasteful-asking me to give money towards which is essentially a great holiday/activity. I give regularly each month by dd to a charity of my choice. I know quite a few people who have run in the London marathon and they are all runners as a hobby, belong to running clubs. Charity was not their primary focus in entering the marathon.

I find it shocking that so many people can't be bothered especially when the charities have a very broad appeal. I asked colleagues to bring in an item for a hamper just before xmas to raffle for homeless young people (I suggested tins lurking in the backs of cupboards - nothing fancy) and most people ignored it and as usual the same few good hearted souls made donations

Maybe they are just fed up of the constant requests or maybe they just don't support the charity. We don't give to the food banks etc unless it's pet food for the shelters.

I really dislike attitudes like Justhappys that people are sponsoring others to fulfil their "dream", nothing could be further from the truth in our case.

But so many times it is just that.

So basically you want to run the marathon but need others to pay for it?
The issue is it doesn't cost much to run thr london marathon.
The problem is that charities love to take over all kinds of fitness events 'because charity' and then because charities claim to be all fluffy and generous lots of places get given to charities to use to fundraise take advantage of people who enjoy an activity and fleece them so for many runners or other fitness people one of the only ways you cam actually get a spot is to sign up to one of these horrible deals.

It is the same with a lot of marathons and half marathons. They are big events where cities have to close.off for them and straight away the charity moneybags lot are straight in snapping up places.

I'm getting increasingly pissed off at some charities though because they seem to spend a lot of time and money begging for people to part with cash whilst spending a lot on overheads, TV/radio ads anf promotional material telling people to get sponsored for everything from walking 5km to not having alcohol for a month.

Sorry. Rant over. I can see how the OP is in that sitiation but still don't think she can expect everyone to sub her £2000.