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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think drunk new parent is selfish

194 replies

Leslieknope123 · 03/01/2018 18:29

These are some friends of mine but wanted to know AIBU thinking this is selfish:
Both parents really do 50/50 , bottle feeding and what not. Dad works nights full time and mum works week times. And with one parents round the corner.
Baby is less that 2 months old (6 weeks I think ) and the mum went out drinking with friends and doesn't get back until 7am (thr grandmother looking after the baby whilst the dad is at work) but she has to go to work to.
SOOOOOO the dad is left there after a night shift having to look after a drunk/hungover woman and a new baby. I said to her I thought it was selfish and she had a big go at me about it ! I'm a new mum myself so it's not like I don't "get it "
Was I being unreasonable thinking she was selfish ?? Xxx

OP posts:
FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 03/01/2018 20:26

when i had my eldest and actually still had a social life i sometimes used to see my HV out on the lash 2 towns away, had a baby not much older than mine. I would be pissed off if she documented me for a night out. She was also a SP, not that that matters but must have had a GP or sitter.

Steeley113 · 03/01/2018 20:26

Oh and for the record, I’ve done many night shifts and stayed up with the kids afterwards. In fact, a lot of Mums I know Work nights so they can do this!

Farmerswife36 · 03/01/2018 20:26

It's got nothing at all to do with you at all ! How judgemental could you get ! Goodness you sound like a right knob

FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 03/01/2018 20:27

or her ex sorry, idk but she used to manage a night out

strangerhoes · 03/01/2018 20:27

They wouldn’t be friends of yours much longer if you had the balls to say this to their faces.
But you wouldn’t would you?

Carbohol78 · 03/01/2018 20:27

Frivolous - yes, I remember reading about you in the Daily Mail, scandalous behaviour Wink

starzig · 03/01/2018 20:28

To be fair it is completely different if it is EVERY day but on a 1 off this is hardly a huge issue.

Carbohol78 · 03/01/2018 20:29

Our cat stayed out all night, so we neutered it. Just a thought.

Pengggwn · 03/01/2018 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strangerhoes · 03/01/2018 20:32

@Pengggwn Grin

Carbohol78 · 03/01/2018 20:32

Very likely, fucked me right up, it was also my sitter

fallenblossom · 03/01/2018 20:34

Plenty of cats and slatterns on this thread.

I just chose to actually mother rather than farm my newborn out, or rely on it sleeping the whole way through my need to get drunk.

That may rankle some of you, but equally, there are some of us that will judge a mother for leaving a 6 week old baby, simply to go out and get drunk.

And I like to drink.

kitkatsky · 03/01/2018 20:34

But the dad is the looking after a drink/hungover partner. She can look after herself. So why is him looking after the baby by himself any different to her caring for baby alone?

Carbohol78 · 03/01/2018 20:36

Oh ffs, what’s wrong with me? What’s a slattern? Why do I know nothing anymore?!?!

Dominithecat · 03/01/2018 20:36

poster HermioneAndMsJones Wed 03-Jan-18 20:23:14
Nope not like working mothers as per previous posts.

Totally different to look afetr a child DURING THE NIGHT after a full day at work than looking afetr a child DURING THE DAY after a night shift.
Because you see, you and the baby will SLEEP dur8ng the night. Unlike dur8ng the day where said baby is expected to be awake!!!

I though the difference was quite obvious rbh.

I worked nights, ffs I thought it was quite obvious

PurpleDaisies · 03/01/2018 20:36

I just chose to actually mother rather than farm my newborn out, or rely on it sleeping the whole way through my need to get drunk.

The baby was with its father. The other parent.

Pengggwn · 03/01/2018 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carbohol78 · 03/01/2018 20:37

“The baby was with its father. The other parent.”

That.

ButchyRestingFace · 03/01/2018 20:41

You are not being remotely unreasonable to think a drunk new parent is selfish, OP.

You carry on thinking whatever you like. We’re not living in a police state (yet).

But you do realise that thoughts are silent things that can stay in your head and don’t have to be expressed to the person they’re about? Grin

GinSoddenWhore · 03/01/2018 20:43

Cats and slatterns 😂

It's scary that there are people walking around who really believe this kind of sanctimonious bullshit!

FreddieClaryHorshieLion · 03/01/2018 20:44

I just chose to actually mother rather than farm my newborn out, or rely on it sleeping the whole way through my need to get drunk.

The baby was with the grandparent and the father.

That may rankle some of you, but equally, there are some of us that will judge a mother for leaving a 6 week old baby, simply to go out and get drunk.

And some of us believe that parents do deserve some time off occasionally. Whether they'd like to have a coffee with their friends, go to a yoga class, the opera, get drunk....

And I like to drink.

I don't.

Strokethefurrywall · 03/01/2018 20:44

This thread massively gives me the warm and fuzzies... Grin

Strokethefurrywall · 03/01/2018 20:46

That may rankle some of you, but equally, there are some of us that will judge a mother for leaving a 6 week old baby, simply to go out and get drunk.

And I judge you for being such a massive sanctimonious wanker.

Strokethefurrywall · 03/01/2018 20:46

That may rankle some of you, but equally, there are some of us that will judge a mother for leaving a 6 week old baby, simply to go out and get drunk.

And I judge you for being such a massive sanctimonious wanker.

Pengggwn · 03/01/2018 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.