To think drunk new parent is selfish

[Leslieknope123]

These are some friends of mine but wanted to know AIBU thinking this is selfish:
Both parents really do 50/50 , bottle feeding and what not. Dad works nights full time and mum works week times. And with one parents round the corner.
Baby is less that 2 months old (6 weeks I think ) and the mum went out drinking with friends and doesn't get back until 7am (thr grandmother looking after the baby whilst the dad is at work) but she has to go to work to.
SOOOOOO the dad is left there after a night shift having to look after a drunk/hungover woman and a new baby. I said to her I thought it was selfish and she had a big go at me about it ! I'm a new mum myself so it's not like I don't "get it "
Was I being unreasonable thinking she was selfish ?? Xxx

If she's gone back to work 6 weeks after having a baby, damn right she deserves a night out. You sound a bit peeved that you weren't invited along.

None of your business OP, it's their relationship.

So it wasn't enough for you to have a go at her after judging her, you have to do it on here, too, so you can have your ego stroked for being such a better mother than she is.

With friends like you . . .

I think you should wind your neck in OP - sounds like they are both your friends and were discussing / sounding off about it - it's your job as a friend to listen and empathise with their feelings, not take sides. I'd be telling you to Foxtrot Oscar if you were my friend. And no, you don't 'get it'. You are being a sanctimummy.

Ahh I see, so these 'friends' of yours were both speaking to you in private.

You then thought you'd blab about them on a public parenting website, that they may well now be members of?

Nice one.

I can't take anyone seriously who uses SOOOOOOO in a sentence and finishes with xxx on a chat forum. Sorry hun.

Wow why are people so bloody horrible on here??? I agree with you @Leslieknope123 you're entitled to your opinion. The last thing I wanted to do when I had a 2 month old was go out drinking. I wouldn't judge anyone if they wanted to but totally unfair to leave husband with the baby when he's just worked a night shift!! When would he have got time to sleep? And her Mum having the baby so she can go out drinking til 7am? Not really on when you're a parent in my opinion and yes everyone on here, I am allowed an opinion, as everyone else is. What's the point in this site if people aren't allowed to ask questions??? She's not saying she called social services.

I had my first night out at 6 weeks with both mine

@MissTeri I can't take anyone seriously who calls someone they don't know Hun.

Well wrong of them to complain about the other to you. But you are crazy to have given an opinion!

Absolutely none of your business!

I can't take anyone seriously who calls someone they don't know Hun

How’s she back at work after 6 weeks?

And is everyone on here telling me they don't have opinions on other people's lives? Just because it's 'none of her business' doesn't mean she can't have an opinion, it's human bloody nature.

@34weeks, but the question she asked was AIBU, so she was inviting people’s opinion on her actions, and that’s what she got, ok, some were more admonishing than others, but she will have known that people weren’t going to write “Aw, hun, that’s ok, you say what you like, we support you xxx” I don’t think it’s too bad, she’s written a further response and doesn’t appear upset

I'll never understand why some people don't give a second thought to new dad's going out but think it's the crime of the century for new mum's to do the same. Just another example if sexism in society.

Not your business and I really wouldn’t blame her for now thinking you are not her friend. They shouldn’t have been bitching about it to you on fb though. Strange thing for a couple to do tbh. But you definitely shouldn’t have given your opinion quite so freely. Not your circus etc.

“RedForFilth

I'll never understand why some people don't give a second thought to new dad's going out but think it's the crime of the century for new mum's to do the same. Just another example if sexism in society.“

That.

i once got the ex, kids DF to come to my house to watch the kids while i popped out for one drink and something to eat with a friend, i hadn't been out in about 2 years. I left at 6pm and got back, still mortal just as he was loading the kids into the car to do the school run. He shouted your a disgrace you and left. Phone had died before i even got to the club.

Never done it again and i rarely drink, i just went on a bender, ended up clubbing then back to a house party. I paid for it though as i have never been so hungover.

Many women in the US are back at work after 6 weeks.

OP Mumsnet love the “it’s none of your business” bollocks

Everyone will say that you’re too judgemental, it’s none of your business etc.

But actually, if the Health Visitor came round for the 6 week check and knew about this, it would at the very least be documented. It’s less than ideal and that’s a fact.

Sorry I meant to write mum doesn't work! They both haven't been great. He shouldve discussed things with her and she shouldn't have got so pissed without letting him know she was going out. I felt bad (and rightly so) that I said she was selfish but she was also badmouth in the dad who apparently "should have looked after her"... so I guess I was looking for a little perspective / to see if getting drunk with a baby was normal as it's all new to me too

Quite, greendale. It’s a holy than thou response.

I'm a new mum myself so it's not like I don't "get it "

Because all new mums think exactly the same way?

This is none of your business.You