To think drunk new parent is selfish

[Leslieknope123]

These are some friends of mine but wanted to know AIBU thinking this is selfish:
Both parents really do 50/50 , bottle feeding and what not. Dad works nights full time and mum works week times. And with one parents round the corner.
Baby is less that 2 months old (6 weeks I think ) and the mum went out drinking with friends and doesn't get back until 7am (thr grandmother looking after the baby whilst the dad is at work) but she has to go to work to.
SOOOOOO the dad is left there after a night shift having to look after a drunk/hungover woman and a new baby. I said to her I thought it was selfish and she had a big go at me about it ! I'm a new mum myself so it's not like I don't "get it "
Was I being unreasonable thinking she was selfish ?? Xxx

I'd have judged too, both for the drinking and leaving a barely newborn child with a sitter.

Sitter?! It was the baby’s Dad.

Yes, the baby was with it's father. NOT it's mother.

Only a cat wants to stay out all night away from it's newborn.

Don't have babies if you want to lash it up ladies.

Granny works I assume.

I wouldn't do it, and don't know anyone who would, but practically speaking there was is no reason why not. If it was every other night then it would be a different story. Many people go out and get carried away, if it a rarity then I wouldn't see a problem.

System one is electronic clinical notes that some GP practices used.HV will enter note onto it

Yes, the baby was with it's father NOT it's mother.

What on earth is wrong with that?

Many women look after a child after work. Why would it be different for men. Many men go out for a drink despite having a child. Why is it so different for a woman.

Dad works nights full time and mum works week times.

How did you write that but really meant to write the Mum doesn’t work?!

I’d actually judge a bloke more for doing it! IMO he has a “duty” to support both the baby and his OH, she’s been through a lot!

Carbohol78 SystmOne is an outdated program (used by many trusts - not mine, thank God!) for keeping patient records; was in the news fairly recently after it was found to not actually be secure and something like 26million patients records were deemed at risk. Whoever breaches the system could have a good old read about new mums on nights outs!

This post brings back a memory of when I had my eldest and went for a night on the tiles when he was about 2 weeks old!! (he's now 20). It was a bit of an occasion and my siblings and their partners were going out and I just didn't want to miss out, I was so sick of being at home. I'd switched to bottle feeding at that point and my mum looked after him but there is a really cringey photo of me in my (bootcut) jeans and a tight top thinking I looked amazing when in reality my boobs are like massive rock-hard bazookas and my belly is still all swollen!
I can't believe I did it now but I was young, baby was of course absolutely oblivious and it was a good night out!

I went back to work when my ds was 2 weeks old. Some people don't get the luxury of maternity leave. It sucks.

Why shouldn't she have a night out? If her oh is wingeing about looking after his baby to allow her to have some fun after 9months of being pregnant then he sounds like the selfish one.

And you need to keep your nose out.

only a cat wants to stay all night away from its newborn

What the hell does that mean??

MissWiggy! Now you’ve said that I remember standing over a sink in a nightclub with spurting boobs, whilst DD (20) was at home with grandparents, I fed her till she was over a year, so I doubt it was when she was tiny (prob over 6 months), but serves me right for being a sanctimummy and saying I don’t judge, but I’d never do it...” clearly I did!

Yes, the baby was with it's father. NOT it's mother.

Only a cat wants to stay out all night away from it's newborn.

Aha. Yeah, no... Will all due respect, this is bullshit.

But I don't mind being compared to a cat. I'm very fond of cats ;)

There's nothing wrong with her DH looking after the child.

Does she work?

If yes... I'm assuming that she still looks after the baby when she comes home. If no: YANBU.

*note - DD is still alive and shows no obvious signs of harm, but am I on a list somewhere? Are they likely to take her away? She’s 20 and really expensive, so I might not object

starzig because they look after said child during the night when the child will be sleeping (ish). Not during the day when it will need your full attention.
Man or woman, expecting a parent to look afetr a baby after a full night shift and before another one is stupid (and crazy tbh. You hope that said parents is t dong a job that can be slightly dangerous!).

As for going out for a drink, well no there is no problem as long as you know that you can cope with your responsibility the next day. If that means looking after said baby, then yes you should ensure you can. Looking afetr the baby was that woman responsibility. She should have planned.
The same would have been true for a man going out.

HermioneAndMsJones Wed 03-Jan-18 20:06:42
Lipstick who says baby was safe with dad when he is coming out of a full night shift, hasn’t slept and will NEED some sleep during the day to be able to face his next night shift???
Aka this guy will need some hours of sleep during the day. Not an hour there and then....

So just like working mothers then? I went back to work when first was 2weeks old, and 4 weeks after second child.
This is before a years maternity leave and any leave was unpaid.

Nope not like working mothers as per previous posts.

Totally different to look afetr a child DURING THE NIGHT after a full day at work than looking afetr a child DURING THE DAY after a night shift.
Because you see, you and the baby will SLEEP dur8ng the night. Unlike dur8ng the day where said baby is expected to be awake!!!

I though the difference was quite obvious rbh.

Because you see, you and the baby will SLEEP dur8ng the night.

Er, have you met many six week old babies? They’re not famous for sleeping through the night.

Hermione - for arguments’ sake, I would wager many mums (sexist, but statistically more likely) are up constantly with tiny children all night, then also have to be “on duty” all day with them, under your logic that’s just as dangerous, I’d rather make a tired mistake at work than at home with a precious infant (falling asleep and having them roll off my knee etc)

6 week olds spend most of the day sleeping 🙄

Glad I'm not alone carbohol - yes I remember the wet patches too! I can't say I regret being a slightly hedonistic new mum - now I'm all old and boring I can look back and say at least I lived a little

This the thread that just keeps giving,full of hilarious gems
Mother’s night out recorded on health care system
Apparently Only cats and hoors abandon infants
Baby Left with the dad = left with sitter