Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Women Baring their beasts at a fire engine......

295 replies

Hannah4banana · 03/01/2018 15:51

I was nightshift on New Years Eve into new year's day in the city centre tre. I couldn't believe it when a group of drunk ladies decided to flash at the guys in the fire engine I was in. I actually had to lock the cab door as they were trying to climb in when we were stopped at traffic lights.
Why the hell would anyone think that's acceptable in an emergency vehicle.
I was mortified for them!

OP posts:
TheGoldenBowl · 04/01/2018 08:37

Actually slarti I'm not that interested in the line of reasoning that got you to that position.

It's all so, so depressing.

This thread should only ever have been about the drunk women's poor behaviour. That comparisons along the lines of "ooh what about if men had done that" crept in on page one is horrifying.

The Weinstein comment was rock bottom.

We are so far from an even playing field that it's almost funny that people don't see what a sick idea it is to compare irresponsible drunk women with a culture of protected predatory men. Ffs.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 04/01/2018 09:06
Hmm
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 04/01/2018 09:17

The 'moobs in Tesco' is probably more of an indictment in the general decline in dress standards and that seems to be universal

Does this actually happen? Whilst I don't often shop in Tesco I've never seen this in Tesco or any other supermarket, ever.

The women were sexually harassing these men and their behaviour was unacceptable.

DreamyMcDreamy · 04/01/2018 09:25

This thread should only ever have been about the drunk women's HARASSING poor behaviour

There. You missed a word. Fixed it for you.

DreamyMcDreamy · 04/01/2018 09:27

That comparisons along the lines of "ooh what about if men had done that" crept in on page one is horrifying

So women can never harass, they're only ever poor little victims?
People saying stuff along the lines of "they love it really" - I'd say THAT'S a horrifying attitude.

DeleteOrDecay · 04/01/2018 09:32

Totally unacceptable behaviour from these women. I'd be horrified waking up the next morning if I were them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/01/2018 09:34

Yes Lass and what I meant by that comment is that some people think it's alright to go out in public places in standards of dress/undress that make other people feel uncomfortable. For the purposes of this thread I mean both sexes and I'm referring to tops off (men and only men) and nightwear (women only I think?) but both would cause consternation and the issue is that these people would think it acceptable, not what their clothing is/isn't - it defies what is normal and accepted practice.

Your 'I've never seen this' comment doesn't negate what I'm saying; you've just been fortunate.

I think most are in complete agreement that this was sexual harassment and it was unacceptable. I would make an observation though that because it was women, this seems to have been treated as a 'caper', which it wasn't. Compensation for having to fight patriarchy perhaps, but still sexual harassment and the apologists on this thread are doing nobody any favours for making excuses for it (they have).

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 04/01/2018 09:49

There have been some awful apologists and whataboutery on this thread.

My reference to "does this really happen" was because of the huge and irrelevant diversion as if it were common every time you go into a supermarket to see a man with no shirt so this is no different.

The comments saying the OP's colleagues weren't bothered were dreadful as was the one that because of the inherent power differences men can't be victims of harrasment.

Slarti · 04/01/2018 10:08

That comparisons along the lines of "ooh what about if men had done that" crept in on page one is horrifying.

It's horrifying that some people jumped straight in to minimise and dismiss sexual harrassment. It's horrifying that some went with the 'I bet they loved it really' line of thinking. It's horrifying that a comparison with male on female sexual harrassment had to be made at all in order to point out the double standards here!

DreamyMcDreamy · 04/01/2018 10:13

It's horrifying that some people jumped straight in to minimise and dismiss sexual harrassment. It's horrifying that some went with the 'I bet they loved it really' line of thinking. It's horrifying that a comparison with male on female sexual harrassment had to be made at all in order to point out the double standards here!

Exactly.

chewiecat · 04/01/2018 10:18

It’s equivalent to catcalling I would imagine, which I absolutely hate. We would class catcalling sexual harassment and so is this

Fekko · 04/01/2018 10:23

I was once catcalled many moons ago - and asked in which order I'd like to shag two disgusting, fat, sweaty and ugly blokes in overalls

I was quite young and alone, and it was in the evening in the depths of the Barbican centre (like a bloody maze) and there was very few people around and they were in my face.

I'd rather have some breasts or even a bare bum waved at me any day. At least it's not a rape threat (aw it's just a joke love, can't you take a joke? Are you a lezza?...)

wakemeupbefore · 04/01/2018 10:27

Now't to do with womens' lib, simply crass and vulgar behaviour, always has been and always will be exhibited by certain types of characters.

DreamyMcDreamy · 04/01/2018 10:28

I'd rather have some breasts or even a bare bum waved at me any day. At least it's not a rape threat

Here we go again with the "at least it wasn't as bad as this other thing" attitude.
THEY'RE ALL HARASSMENT.

Catcalling,having a bum waved at you, breasts shoved at you, hey it's all OK because after all it's not a rape threat, is it. Hmm

Hannah4banana · 04/01/2018 10:31

It's been really interesting reading all the replies, there were loads of people with camera phones about that night. I just hope for their sakes it doesnt end up plastered over social media! Im not sure where they would stand but they voluntarily showed it all off in a public street. I hope it doesn't come back to bite them on their bums!

OP posts:
Slarti · 04/01/2018 11:03

aw it's just a joke love, can't you take a joke?

I bet that's exactly what these women would say if pulled up on it, and it's the same attitude presented by some on this thread. It's unsurprising that whenever sexual harrassment occurs there are always people who wish to minimise the offence, put the blame on the victim for being oversensitive and lacking a sense of humour, and claim the victim actually liked the attention.

grannytomine · 04/01/2018 12:55

My reference to "does this really happen" was because of the huge and irrelevant diversion as if it were common every time you go into a supermarket to see a man with no shirt so this is no different. I was surprised that people see this all the time, I live in a seaside resort and apart from on the beach or very close to it I can't think when I have seen a topless man, I don't think I've ever seen it in a supermarket and local bars and restaurants don't allow it.

Jaygee61 · 04/01/2018 13:11

A topless man would rapidly freeze to death in the chilled aisles of my local supermarket...

noeffingidea · 04/01/2018 13:35

I live in a place near the sea that attracts some holiday makers (I hesitate to call it a resort). I've seen some topless men around, though usually youngish in good shape men, in really hot weather. Some of the shops and cafes usually have signs up in summer asking customers to wear tops.
Female breasts are seen as sexual in the way that mens aren't, and I can't see that changing any time soon. Hence why most women keep their breasts covered in public other than for breastfeeding and even then the majority prefer to show as little skin as possible.

TheGoldenBowl · 04/01/2018 13:43

Dreamy you've quoted me and then asked if women can never harass, can only ever be victims... yet I never said or even implied this Hmm And you 'fixed' my indictment of the women's behaviour by inserting the word 'harassing' into it. Why? I was condemning their behaviour. Why did you need that particular buzz word in there?? Oh yes, I know... so it could resonate more accurately with what women suffer from men Hmm Why this desperate need for the comparison?

The only reason we ended up in women's chests v men's chests territory is because people were so desperate from page one to compare this with men's harassment of women. Absolutely desperate.

I don't disagree that the women's behaviour was wildly inappropriate.

I do strongly disagree with the posters (around page 5) who were sadly shaking their heads and talking about how this behaviour undermines the fight against the Weinsteins of this world. That is my problem with this thread.

On an individual level, I wouldn't presume to say how any man might feel when confronted by those drunk women. Yes, he might legitimately feel harassed (there you go Dreamy).

But to extrapolate from that that women are damaging their fight against institutional sexism because of these incidents is downright misogynistic.

DreamyMcDreamy · 04/01/2018 13:54

And you 'fixed' my indictment of the women's behaviour by inserting the word 'harassing' into it. Why? I was condemning their behaviour. Why did you need that particular buzz word in there??

Because you seriously just are not getting the fact that it's harassment.
You said poor behaviour. That could constitute anything.

TheGoldenBowl · 04/01/2018 13:56

There are other words. We have plenty of synonyms in English.

You wanted that word because of the implied comparison. Just admit it.

TheGoldenBowl · 04/01/2018 13:57

In any case, I didn't just say 'poor'. I've described their behaviour in various terms. Just didn't use your prescribed word.

DreamyMcDreamy · 04/01/2018 14:07

Why are you nitpicking over words and flat out refusing that it's harassment?
It's laughable.

TheGoldenBowl · 04/01/2018 14:11

Dreamy

I AM NOT DENYING THAT IT'S HARASSMENT.

Jeez. Do I have to use the word 'harassment' each and every time I mention the behaviour to make that sufficiently clear?

Find something else I've said to disagree with.

Swipe left for the next trending thread