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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel hurt by this?

232 replies

Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 18:57

My DH and our two DDs are Muslim. I'm not I'm white British but DH and I have always bought our girls up to accept and respect both our cultures so they can fit in with both. We live in a mainly white area with very few ethnic minority people so my girls have white friends. I have just seen on the dreaded Facebook a post from a friend of mine who's DD is also a friend of my DD asking why Muslims are allowed in this country, along the lines of "they hate dogs, pork and Jesus so they should get out" type of thing. Lots of people have liked and agreed with this that I know.

My friend and I have always been open about my family's faith and she has always claimed to be open minded about it and shown interest. I now feel that she's not being honest and probably judges us. I haven't commented on her post but I'm not sure how to proceed because right now I feel hurt, does she think my family should "get out too"?

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 02/01/2018 21:04

OP YANBU to feel upset with this "friend"

Ignorance is no defence. I unfriend people like this. Bigoted, uneducated, far right, homophobic, racist points of views are not those I share.

And OP there are loads of people who are kind hearted and like minded out there. Find the friends who did not like her post.

I am confident to call people out on this but appreciate not everyone is.

Take care Flowers

Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:07

frumpety I completely agree!

tistheseason thank you Smile

OP posts:
PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 02/01/2018 21:08

I would go with wednesdays suggestion.

Hope you are ok OP. Sounds really shit

FeeLock28 · 02/01/2018 21:09

Whiterabbitears, can't you report this to Facebook as 'hate speech'? I'm not sure what the current practice-cum-law is about this; I know that tech companies are likely to be seen as more responsible for their content rather than as a mere tech platform later in the year, but I'd certainly have no hesitation whatsoever in escalating it as high as possible.

As far as dealing with the actual person posting is perhaps more nuanced. Frankly, I'd have nothing to do with them ever again, and resolve merely to be coldly civil when I absolutely had to. People who speak like that are racists and utterly beneath my contempt.

Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:11

Yes peppa I'm feeling better thanks, luckily my family and two best friends don't feel this way so I need to concentrate on that, I know I shouldnt let this bother me, DH is very good at ignoring crap, he let's it go right over his head.

OP posts:
IrrationalFamily · 02/01/2018 21:12

Friend's dad made some nasty xenophobic remarks on FB about immigrants and people in this country speaking other languages just before the Brexit vote last year.

DH is an immigrant and deliberately speaks to DC in his language (fluent in 3 including English). I was so hurt as I liked this person but did not wish to upset my friend so simply blocked and moved on.

Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:12

How do you report it?

OP posts:
AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 02/01/2018 21:13

You can't argue with stupid. Delete and block.

Collaborate · 02/01/2018 21:13

Screen shot her awful post, then create a post of your own. Take a note of those who liked it, and perhaps mention how shocked you were to see so many likes to such a racist post. Nothing like this kind of thing to bring out who the true bastards are.

I'd also be having a word with the school just to put them in the picture. Might be some work they'd want to do with the children.

Justanotherlurker · 02/01/2018 21:14

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Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:15

Irrational I like to think that mixed families grow up to be accepting of other peoples cultures and race/faiths. Sorry you've experienced this too.

OP posts:
NotACleverName · 02/01/2018 21:18

I think you need to change your name to Justanothergoadyfucker, Justanotherlurker. Not really sure what your (and Mumof56's) problem is.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 02/01/2018 21:19

DH is very good at ignoring crap

Not really the point though is it. He shouldn’t have to be good at ignoring crap

kaytee87 · 02/01/2018 21:20

I'm not sure why op not knowing about a sect of islam means she can't possibly be telling the truth about being married to a Muslim.
There's lots of differenf sects of Christianity I don't know about and I'm Christian with a minister for a grandfather.

Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:21

Well I did point out that I'm not Muslim, therefore I dont know all of the terminology. If you want to want to know DH is British Bengali and has lived here all of his life. He practices his faith but is not strictly observant. My DDs have been raised Muslim and I've just asked them what that word means, and they don't know either. You don't have to believe anything I've posted, that's fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:23

peppa I think he's got used to it so it doesn't seem to hurt him like it does me, he's often oblivious.

OP posts:
WoofWoofMooWoof · 02/01/2018 21:24

This probably won't help lol, but my upstairs neighbours are a family of him and the 3DC Muslim, and she's white British and not a Muslim. He doesn't talk, he always shouts at full volume, has friends around who do the same. He totally disrespects women, including his wife. He thinks nothing of throwing cigarette butts into my garden, as I'm 'just' a single white woman. We live in quite large complex, and as far as I know, he's the only Muslim here, and also the only trouble maker. Of course not all Muslims are like this, and I'm not a racist by any means, but that is my experience. Everyone here wants the family out - not because they're Muslim, but because they make everyone else's lives miserable.

Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:24

Good point kaytee

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 02/01/2018 21:26

How is that relevant @WoofWoofMooWoof?

Justanotherlurker · 02/01/2018 21:27

This reply has been deleted

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winglesspegasus · 02/01/2018 21:28

everyones going on about dogs and pork
other religions don't eat pork
jesus is apart of islam, he is considered a messanger

www.islam-guide.com/ch3-10.htm

maybe not what christian sects believe but he is acknowledged

AdalindSchade · 02/01/2018 21:30

@WoofWoofMooWoof what the ever loving fuck has that got to do with anything?! Hmm

@justanotherlurker don't be so ridiculous. I have a Muslim ex who I lived with for many years and I know very little about his religious beliefs because we didn't really discuss them. I certainly don't know what ahmadiyyah means.

Original poster
Whiterabbitears · 02/01/2018 21:30

Well no but I don't know what that word means and it feels like you're trying to prove a point. Never mind, what does the word mean out of interest?

OP posts:
YellowFlower201 · 02/01/2018 21:30

Good grief!! What a poor effort at goady fuckery Woof. Xmas Biscuit

ghostyslovesheets · 02/01/2018 21:32

bloody hell - the OP is entitled to be upset when a so called friend posts stuff directly attacking her family

what is with all the goady shit - there is really no need to keep pecking away like demented jackdaws - give her a sodding break

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