AIBU to feel hurt by this?

[Whiterabbitears]

My DH and our two DDs are Muslim. I'm not I'm white British but DH and I have always bought our girls up to accept and respect both our cultures so they can fit in with both. We live in a mainly white area with very few ethnic minority people so my girls have white friends. I have just seen on the dreaded Facebook a post from a friend of mine who's DD is also a friend of my DD asking why Muslims are allowed in this country, along the lines of "they hate dogs, pork and Jesus so they should get out" type of thing. Lots of people have liked and agreed with this that I know.

My friend and I have always been open about my family's faith and she has always claimed to be open minded about it and shown interest. I now feel that she's not being honest and probably judges us. I haven't commented on her post but I'm not sure how to proceed because right now I feel hurt, does she think my family should "get out too"?

I like wednesdays approach too, it let's her know and those who agree with her.

Its heartening to see that all of you understand my point of view, I've felt a bit isolated these last few hours.

Justanotherlurker

Not sure why I have offended you, I was quite clearly sticking up for the OP

She's an idiot. Maybe she was drunk when she wrote it (still no excuse). Stupid attracts stupid too (that's why I am not on Facebook).

"Yes she obviously is racist deep down"

Not that deep down. She made a pubkic disgusting racist post.

mumof56

I'm not making up words, what else would you call it if not racist? To be pedantic no Islam is not a race but what would you describe her attitude as?

just to add weight to what I’ve said- a Facebook friend (or was!) put a post up yesterday where she told of an unfortunate event where she was mugged during the holidays. In her mother tongue she was commenting- Facebook translate showed she used a racial slur followed by lots of ignorant insults to that particular race of people, -two of our friendship group are of that race. She got a mouth full off someone I don’t know, but was unfriended by myself and a few other members of our friendship group,

Please don’t believe that there aren’t people who are appalled by her post or any similar.

I"d say something. Something along the lines of. "I am sorry to see your feelings on this, I had considered you a friend, obviously you don't feel my family belongs". Then unfriend " There's no way forward for a friendship so you may as well be clear what this means.

To be pedantic no Islam is not a race but what would you describe her attitude as?

religious intolerance

Would you not agree its the same thing? Racism and religious intolerance are both based on prejudice?

She's awful and massively ignorant OP (Jesus has no place in my life but I bet she'd not expect me to "leave". I am also guessing, like many Muslims your family were born British!). I'd be upfront about it in RL too. Sometimes these sort of disgusting opinions continue as noone challenges them. Seeing the post AND a person affected by it might be enough for someone to speak out/ be shaken out of complacency.

How horrible to feel isolated. I hope you're assured that you're not really! Unfortunately, the intolerant are very loud - but they are still the minority, thank goodness. As @Theimpossiblegirl said, there are probably people on her friends list wondering whether to intervene or just let stupid. It's in no way a reflection of their attitudes that they've not responded - they may just be appalled beyond words or regarding it as their own red flag about the Facebook poster.

If you want to be pedantic, I suppose Islamophobia is the word.

I think "this post makes me sad", as per pp, is a good response.

Would you not agree its the same thing?

Are Catholics a race?

Are protestants a race?

Are scientologists a race?

How about Hindus, are they a race?

I think the something along the line of
"I'm sorry you feel like this as our girls are such good friends, yet it seems our DD's heritage offends you so much"
Don't bother unfriending her

To be pedantic no Islam is not a race but what would you describe her attitude as?

Fucking vile?

Yes I agree that will be people we know who won't agree with her and just want to keep out of it. Soren I'm not feeling so isolated now .

Not sure why I have offended you, I was quite clearly sticking up for the OP

You haven't offended me personally, just pointing out that you being snarky with Never heard that lovely ignorant stereotype before. shows your ignorance along with the people who OP are dealing with.

Islam is a religion, not a race. There are Muslims from many races.

What exactly is a race? It's certainly doesn't have an objective scientific meaning, when applied to humans. It's really a grouping based on culture and appearance. Nazis like the OP's 'friend' are not thoughtful enough to distinguish their prejudices clearly- they don't like people who look and act different to them. I think 'racist' is fine to describe them.

@Whiterabbitears. If you want your kids to live in a better world then I think really you have to say something. Personally I would message her privately and explain that the ideas she has about you are wrong, and how upset you are about the comments to your family. IME racists find it harder to justify when it's made clear that their attacks are personal.

Totally not the point of the thread but do Muslims hate dogs?

Pakistani (and probably most) Muslims don't generally have dogs as pets. It's related to the cleanliness laws, but amongst communities near me it's a pretty ubiquitous cultural thing. As a result some Muslims can be a bit panicky and silly about it, but so can lots of non-muslims who've not grown up around dogs.

Whiterabbitears
Usually I would not describe racism and religious intolerance as the same thing- because of one big difference - choice.
However, in this case the terminology your friend has used is suggestive that she has a very narrow view of Muslims which is likely to incorporate a prejudice against race as well. So even though I don’t regard them as being the same it is as clear as day that your friend is both.

she's an idiot and a racist

sorry you had to read that twaddle OP - lots of us don't feel like that at all x

and I know a fair few devoted Muslim dog owners btw

mumof56

I don't think any of those on the list are experiencing Islamophobia (thanks category) in the same way. I'm not seeing the same level of intolerance for Catholics or Protestants in the mainstream right now.

Sorry op I slightly misread your post and thought you are Muslim (not that it makes a difference) so I'd write "you know my children/DH are Muslim...etc"

Don't understand it.