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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the dog

557 replies

gta · 02/01/2018 11:38

We have a 10 week old puppy . I am 8 weeks pregnant with the most horrendous morning day and night sickness and my sense of smell through the roof.
The dog is NOT house trained and seems to be going backwards rather than improving. He is shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE. Pooing in his own bed. Eating his own poo. Vomiting his poo up. Weeing in his own bed. His bed is washed multiple times a day, new beds have been bought.
I can't cope . I am crying everyday with it all it's disgusting. I dread waking up in the morning feeling sick, being sick and then cleaning up all the piss and shit he's left all over the kitchen floor . I can't stand him being near me . I'm at a complete loss st what to do but I'm absolutely miserable and hate living in my house with him. Please help Sad

OP posts:
Anxiousally · 02/01/2018 12:27

Whilst it must be a horrible situation for you I really feel for the poor puppy!
It's only a baby and needs loads of love and attention and proper training.
Please re home him asap as it sounds as though he's really not getting that.

KurriKurri · 02/01/2018 12:28

12th December is 3 weeks ago, so you have had him from 7 weeks? He was too young to leave his mother, I can't believe any breeder would let a puppy go at 7 weeks.

As for the OP getting a hard time ? - I actually feel sorry for her, she is clearly in way over her head, but I feel more sorry for the puppy who didn't choose to live in an inadequate home where he is not loved.

BarbarianMum · 02/01/2018 12:28
SusanneLinder · 02/01/2018 12:29

Sorry, but I get really angry with people who buy a dog and then decide it is far too much work! The reason that so many dogs get put in shelters, because they can't be arsed cleaning up after it. That's if it doesn't end up getting put down as sadly so many unwanted dogs do.
Rehome the dog and please don't ever get another one.

BakedBeans47 · 02/01/2018 12:29

Sounds like the partner brought the dog home as a grand gesture and has done nothing with regard to looking after it

This is true, lazy bastard

Goodasgoldilox · 02/01/2018 12:30

Sorry about your 'morning' sickness OP - it is really tough to get through.

Puppies do have to be house-trained.
This isn't an instant thing (though it is quicker than potty-training!).

Praise and encouragement speed things up.
Stress and distress slow things down. Frightening the pup is very counter-productive. (The bladder and bowels are emotional organs!)

There is plenty of help on training pups. In your situation crate-training methods would be easier for cleaning up. It is quite a quick method too.
Rather than leaving the pup with run of the kitchen,it has a puppy-crate and lots of newspaper + many regular visits to the garden. Disposable bedding might be best at the moment too.

Bostin · 02/01/2018 12:30

The OP has said her DP was doing all the picking up until going back to work today.

Booboobooboo84 · 02/01/2018 12:31

I actually feel really sorry for you and my dog is my world. But sometimes in the training stage of his life I could have throttled him. Have you looked at crate training him? Puppy pads are great for this. If he has an accident in his crate you can Just bin the pad rather than wash a whole bed again. Everything he is doing is normal and everything your feeling is normal. Also dogs don’t like to have accidents where they sleep so if he starts sleeping in the crate he will avoid pooping in there. When you let him out straight outside and stay out til he does what he needs to do and make the biggest fuss when he does. Mine would and still will do anything for a hotdog sausage 😂

llangennith · 02/01/2018 12:32

Poor you OP. Such bad timing!
Rehome the puppy asap, puppies are a handful for the first year and you won’t have the time or energy to deal with its needs.
When the DC are older and you feel you can cope try fostering a dog to see if it’s what you really want.

suzy2b · 02/01/2018 12:32

she said she has bad sickness i had that 24/7 so i know what it's like unusual to wee and poo in their bed don't be to hard on her she is feeling like shit herself

Thedietstartsnow · 02/01/2018 12:33

Your dog is showing signs of stress and unhappiness..did you not read books and look up how hard it would be

Curtainshopping · 02/01/2018 12:33

OP now hates it cause its distressed and not house-trained yet.

She hates it because she can't cope with it when she's suffering sickness herself, which she didn't know she was going to have.

She's not said whether she felt this way in the weeks between getting the puppy and the morning sickness kicking in.

Aki99 · 02/01/2018 12:34

Probably not a good idea to have picked up a puppy whilst you were pregnant. The puppy cant help it - its up to the human to toilet train. Take the puppy back to the breeder

IntoTheFloodAgain · 02/01/2018 12:34

ffs the OP wanted the dog and her OH got her one. @rhiannon @reanimated

She’s said herself she would never have got it if she new she’d be pregnant.

But of course the man in the situation is to blame Hmm

OP if its only been a few hours and you already cant take it then just give the dog back, don’t ever get another. If it wasn’t the pregnancy then it could be something else that makes you hate it.

NoSquirrels · 02/01/2018 12:34

The OP is getting a kicking. I’m sorry for her and angry at her DP.

But I’m more bothered about the poor puppy who needs a new home.

OP - mistakes happen in life, but it is how you deal with them that’s important. If you are not a “get on with it no matter the circumstances” type then right now you can’t be a good dog owner so do the responsible thing.

If you’re just having a momentary panic & will pull yourself together shortly then start looking up puppy toilet training & read up on socialisation, find training classes in your area for when pup is vaccinated and check if vet does puppy parties, and stop dwelling on it being hard work. Dogs are hard work- they’re amazing, but they are the opposite of low-maintenance and you need to adapt to them rather than the other way round.

gta · 02/01/2018 12:36

I am on onandestron for the sickness but it barely helps. I feel like a shit person but I'm so depressed with the situation. I'm miserable

OP posts:
Eryri1981 · 02/01/2018 12:36

My puppy was 6 months old when I found out I was pregnant. I had HG which was well controlled with a high dose of antiemetics, but they left me like a zombie. My greatest achievement through my pregnancy was that I somehow managed to walk him once a day even through the worst of it, but looking back now the whole summer is all a bit of a haze. My HG went on for a long time.

Fortunately I had been able to give him a really good start in his socialisation window (8-12 weeks) and he had been to lots of training classes for the basics prior to me becoming pregnant. However the training inevitably went by the wayside, and last week it came back to haunt me...he didn't want to recall as he knew his walk was over, and lost complete control, stopping responding to me altogether, and ended up chasing a horse and rider (she was clearly very experienced and able to manage to situation) my dog could easily have been killed, I nearly fell on my 8 month pregnant bump trying to catch him, and it ended with a lot of tears! We have worked really hard this last week despite bump and weather and dog is getting back to where he should be due to the basics bring there (I also have private training session booked for him and me).

Op you need to be realistic about what you can achieve with your puppy in this crucial period of his life, and also you have no idea how long you will be suffering, which will further impact on his puppyhood. If you can't meet puppy's early socialisation and training needs you will be letting your puppy down, and setting yourself up for huge problems further down the line. Unfortunately I think you need to re-home your puppy.

Congratulations on the pregnancy x

jacks11 · 02/01/2018 12:36

Christina

From what other posters have said, her DH bought the dog that she had been saying for ages that she wanted. And was initially delighted that he had bought. So hardly unwilling, even if not planned by her. Agreed her partner should be helping to train when not at work, and now it's clear this can't continue should rehome the dog. But as he's not here saying he hates the puppy, it's op who is getting the flak.

FWIW, OP and her DH are both as bad as each other in my book. If OP didn't want the puppy when it appeared before christmas she should have put her foot down and told her DH to take the puppy back to the breeder. As she didn't, was delighted and chose to keep it, then she chose to take on (shared) responsibility for the welfare of the puppy as it's co-owner. So yes, she has partial responsibility for this mess too. He bought the poor thing, she chose to keep it.

UnitedKungdom · 02/01/2018 12:36

I'd look at rehoming asap. Pup is still a baby and if you find it a good home will have a great chance at being trained early enough and settling well.

People are such martyrs about dogs on here. Everyone is a first time owner at some point and people rarely tell you that a pup is like a baby, harder in some ways, easier in others. But I don't think you will bond with this dog under the circumstances, even when things settle down. So I'd definitely suggest rehoming.

Chanelprincess · 02/01/2018 12:37

I can't stand him being near me

What a vile thing to say about a 10-week old puppy. I'm at a loss to understand how any reputable breeder would have sold you a dog. From your post, you come across as totally callous and uncaring.

BarbarianMum · 02/01/2018 12:37

OK yeah curtain. She loved the puppy for the last 3 weeks but as of this morning hates it and doesn't want it near her because it's made a mess. Hmm

BiteyShark · 02/01/2018 12:38

You have two choices really.

  1. Accept that you are going to need to do the training now your DH is back at work. This is going to be hard work and toilet training often takes weeks and then you have the biting and then you have the teenage bad behaviour. All of this is going to happen during your pregnancy and probably beyond as the dog will still be a difficult teenager when you give birth. If you do decide to go down this path there are threads in the doghouse that can help walk you through those difficult months.
  1. Accept that you and your DH made a BIG mistake and now you need to act responsibly and quickly to rehome the puppy. Don't just try and sell it, go back to the breeder or to a rescue organisation to help rehome responsibly so the puppy isn't passed from one home to the next and so on.
TemptressofWaikiki · 02/01/2018 12:38

So, OP you wanted a cute and expensive puppy and your DH got it at a far too young age. That is beyond cruel and stupid. I loathe people like you! Shame there isn’t an empathy and IQ test to ensure a puppy goes to a decent and loving home.

Greyhorses · 02/01/2018 12:39

No reputable breeder would let a pup leave at 7 weeks.

Give it to a breed rescue and let them find it the correct type of home before it ends up ruined.

RhiannonOHara · 02/01/2018 12:39

Into, the OP doesn't seem to have a clue about house-training or generally looking after a dog, pregnant or not.

I do agree with jacks though that the OP and her DH are both as bad as each other.

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