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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the dog

557 replies

gta · 02/01/2018 11:38

We have a 10 week old puppy . I am 8 weeks pregnant with the most horrendous morning day and night sickness and my sense of smell through the roof.
The dog is NOT house trained and seems to be going backwards rather than improving. He is shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE. Pooing in his own bed. Eating his own poo. Vomiting his poo up. Weeing in his own bed. His bed is washed multiple times a day, new beds have been bought.
I can't cope . I am crying everyday with it all it's disgusting. I dread waking up in the morning feeling sick, being sick and then cleaning up all the piss and shit he's left all over the kitchen floor . I can't stand him being near me . I'm at a complete loss st what to do but I'm absolutely miserable and hate living in my house with him. Please help Sad

OP posts:
HuskyMcClusky · 02/01/2018 12:17

YABVU.

Just take the poor little thing back to the breeder, fgs.

How can you say you ‘hate’ a baby animal that’s totally reliant on you? It’s just shit.

ComfortablyGlum · 02/01/2018 12:18

I found the first weeks with my puppy much harder than the first weeks with any of my 3 kids. They are hard work and unless you are committed to putting in the hours to train and nurture him, things will not improve. Ask yourself if you want to commit several hours a day for training and a constant acceptance that your new dog requires time and effort. Pups don’t just wake up one day house trained and obedient - it takes a hell of a lot of input - from clearing up never ending shit and using reinforcement techniques that can take a new pup months to learn.

I’m not going to berate you for getting a dog - you won’t be the first or last who gets one and is unprepared for the shock of what hard work you are. You have two choices - make a commitment to train your puppy, knowing this will require a lot of time and considerable effort on your part OR accept it was a bad idea and get the little one rehomed ASAP. Hope it all works out for you.

BellBookandCandle · 02/01/2018 12:18

Really Pasta? What about the pup who has been taken away from everything it knew into a strange environment and now lives with someone who hates it?

It just wants/needs a home where people care for it and are happy to train it - the OP won't do those things (yes, I know that olfactory senses in pregnancy can be heightened, but that is usually a temporary thing) - quite how/why she expected a 10 week old pup to be housetrained beggars belief. So yeah, she deserves the flak.

BakedBeans47 · 02/01/2018 12:18

Oh and don’t get a dog again. Chalk this up to experience.

People like you are the reason animal shelters are chock a block after Christmas.

ShatnersWig · 02/01/2018 12:19

Ofa Not quite true. Here's the thread the OP started on 20 Dec on the same subject:

In the mean time I had been saying for a while how I would love a dog as had never been able to have one as my mum was allergic when I was younger. My DP bought me a lovely and very expensive puppy. I was ecstatic and really threw myself into caring for him

CrochetBelle · 02/01/2018 12:19

So you've been solely responsible for the dog care for a few hours?

Please, rehome him whilst it's still easy.

RhiannonOHara · 02/01/2018 12:20

So I see from a previous thread that your partner bought it as a present. He needs to return it to the breeder. This has been going on for a few weeks now. He needs to fix it.

This with bells on. Stupid cunt of a man. Talk to the breeder; if they're decent they'll take the poor sod back and find it a proper home.

christinarossetti · 02/01/2018 12:20

Op, you have a son and are in the first trimester of pregnancy. You're absolutely right to say that this isn't the right time for your household to have a puppy.

Your partner needs to either take time off work for weeks/months to train the puppy, or to return it to the breeder/rehome it asap.

The puppy will cope. It's not ideal, but it's a perfectly manageable situation.

Original poster
gta · 02/01/2018 12:20

We have had him here since the 12th December

OP posts:
FreddieClaryHorshieLion · 02/01/2018 12:22

I knew I would be pregnant and this poorly I would never have got the dog.

That’s understandable. But also the ‘issue’ with pets... they’re pretty much for life (well, there are of course a few circumstances that will make it impossible to keep a pet / properly look after it. But you know, generally speaking).

Where is your partner?

Honestly, I think you should give the dog back / find it a good home or both of you should properly commit to training and having this dog.

The dog - as wonderful as dogs are - will always ‘inconvenience’ you. It will still need to go on walkies if you or your DC are sick. It will have an impact on your social life. On the people you can or can’t invite into your home.
And then there are obviously the more unusual issues like the dog getting sick. Dogs can get diarrhoea, for example... and the care they need in situation so like that. And if you’re truly unlucky that might just coincide with you or a family member being sick as well.

Are you and or your DP truly willing to deal with these things?

littlemisscomper · 02/01/2018 12:22

Are you even serious OP? If so I have bad news for you - babies wet themselves and shit too. Good luck with that.

Els1e · 02/01/2018 12:23

Please don’t hate the dog. It’s not his fault. Training a puppy does take a lot of time and patience. If you really cannot cope, be kind to the puppy and yourself and rehome or hand in to local shelter.

Bostin · 02/01/2018 12:23

Well done for still showing you face OP. I strongly suggest you follow the advice given for your sake and the pups. I don’t think it will get easier for a long time.

nevereverever83 · 02/01/2018 12:24

"We have had him here since the 12th December"

That's 22 days ago (if my maths is correct). If you say the puppy is now 10 weeks old, that means you got the puppy when it was only 6 weeks 6 days old? No wonder it is having such a bad time, that's far too young to leave its mother. Report the people you bought the dog off.

christinarossetti · 02/01/2018 12:24

OP, it sounds like you had no idea what having a puppy would involve, let alone having one when you are pregnant.

It's your partner who made the mistake. Introducing a pet into a household should be a thoughtful, considered and planned move, not an impulse buy of something cute.

Your partner needs to sort this out asap. A major mistake was made - most likely from ignorance - and it needs to be sorted out.

Curtainshopping · 02/01/2018 12:24

God, you are getting a kicking here. Nothing to indicate that the OP didn't know what a puppy involved or is irresponsible. It's the unanticipated morning sickness that's causing the problem.

It's short term. The puppy will be house trained soon and your morning sickness will pass. Only you can decide if you can stick it out or will have to rehome him.

FreddieClaryHorshieLion · 02/01/2018 12:24

*situations so like that.

Wolfiefan · 02/01/2018 12:24

So you've had it three weeks? It won't be clean yet.
You need to watch it like a hawk. Take it out after eating and drinking and playing and sleeping and about every 30 minutes too. On a lead. Praise if it goes. If it doesn't come in and back out in 5 minutes.
If it's messing in the house it's YOUR fault for not watching it closely enough.
What is it?

Clandestino · 02/01/2018 12:24

We have had him here since the 12th December

So you had the puppy since 12th December. You say when you got him you didn't know you were pregnant, i.e. no sickness, vomiting etc.
So for more than 3 weeks you never found the time for a basic puppy training, you just loved the idea of having a puppy and thought they become the well trained and mannered dogs asking to go outside to do their toilet on their own.
You are all that's wrong with dog owners. Please rehome the puppy. Give it to a charity, there are plenty of families out there who'd love to get a puppy and they will be checked for suitability. Give the poor animal a chance it's not getting in your household. And never ever get a dog.

Saucery · 02/01/2018 12:24

IF you wanted validation for getting rid of your puppy from this thread then I think you’ve got it.
If the breeder won’t have him back (and one that sells ‘expensive’ pups at Christmas probably isn’t the responsible sort) then ask your vet for rehoming recommendations.
It isn’t going to get any better and he is going to hit his Dog Teens when you have the baby. Best you admit your mistake and rehome him sooner than later.

ReanimatedSGB · 02/01/2018 12:24

Sounds like the partner brought the dog home as a grand gesture and has done nothing with regard to looking after it. A not-uncommon situation. Yet of course it's the OP getting the online kicking, because women exist to service everyone but themselves...

christinarossetti · 02/01/2018 12:24

OP already has a child, as she's said, so leave the snide comments about babies pooing at the door.

christinarossetti · 02/01/2018 12:25

Op was put in the position of being a 'dog owner' by her partner who bought the dog. She didn't go out and buy it.

jacks11 · 02/01/2018 12:26

YABU to hate the dog. A 10 week old puppy cannot be toilet trained (especially if you haven't put the work in to do that training) and it's hardly the dogs fault. However, as you do feel that do feel that way, please do the responsible thing and return the poor puppy to the breeder- any breeder worth their salt will take the puppy back. And please, never get a puppy again as it's clearly not for you.

How on earth you expected the puppy to toilet train itself, and to have done so by 10 weeks no less, is completely beyond me. Did you do any research before getting a puppy? Have you had a dog before? I just don't understand the mentality.

I see you have said you didn't know you'd be pregnant or sick- but (and as someone who suffered severe morning sickness) you either get on with it and do what needs to be done in terms of toilet training the dog and clearing it up until the training is complete (which whilst unpleasant is not impossible) or you do the only other fair thing which is to give the dog back to the breeder. And never get a dog again.

NoSquirrels · 02/01/2018 12:26

He came to you a bit young, then, if he’s 10 weeks now & you hit him on 12th December.

OP, these weeks are so important to puppies growing into good well-socialised dogs.

If you can’t commit now, it’s nit going to get better with 2 young kids.

Please take the hard decision and get the puppy a good new home. Contact a rescue, contact the breeder.

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