To be offended that another school mum has unfriended me on FB?

[monkeyblonde]

She's not a close friend, but all other mums are still on there. I'm a bit nervous about going back to school!

Having had two children at junior school until recently I think many of you are being overly harsh on the OP.

It's easy to brush this off as nonsense, but I think a large part of my children's ability to make good friends at school was down to me trying to get on with everyone at the school gate.

The mornings were just drop and go, but it was at the pick up that the pressure can kick in, as you are hanging around in group for what can seem like ages and then seeing the same lot in nearby parks, that your children want to join in with.

If a mum had unfriended me but kept all the other mums as friends, as the OP has said, I would be concerned. I don't think you're being over dramatic at all OP.

But as others have suggested, you have to rise above it and really not let anyone know that you're concerned (unless they're a really close friend). Hopefully you'll have forgotten about it before long.

This recently happened to me, at first I was thinking what have I done to upset her, then I thought I've done nothing she's just a crank and really she's done me a favour

Maybe consider that your posts were annoying her. I get really worked up by inane, braggy and downright unnecessary FB posts. I even banned myself for a week because I got so worked up lol!!!
Try to worry less, it's basically all shizzle and remember we can't all be the same.

Do you talk to her at the school.

My Sil and cousin delated and blocked me after i noticed a post calling xxx her neice after i pointed out that my cousin was technically not her daughters Auntie

There is a mum at my children's school who has been unfriended by a number of us. Her endless posts about how wonderful and talented and brilliant and clever and amazing and lovely and so good at sports her older child is. And nothing about her younger one, ever. It was starting to grate.

She's one of those people who if you've been to Tenerife, she's been to Twelverife.

I can see why you'd feel bullied If you're the only one to be unfriended. It's hard not to take being singled out personally really, isn't it.

A lot of posters are acting blasé with their "who cares" responses, or suggesting it must be your fault in some way. But i totally get how it must hurt when you feel you've been singled out and you don't know why. Id be anxious about seeing her too. I guess I'd just try to act normal, pretend you haven't noticed? She's probably hoping she's upset you, so piss on her chips by pretending she's so irrelevant you haven't even noticed her.

Btw, I have a friend who has decided recently to unfriend some people from our mutual friendship group. Ive asked her why, but really she couldn't give any concrete reason. I think she just loves drama and shit stirring tbh. But it just causes a massive headache for the rest of us as we all feel awkward when arranging joint get togethers as I worry there'll be a massive atmosphere and feel like I'm either having to arrange a really awkward group get together, or leave either party out to avoid awkwardness. As I type this, I realise I should probably be leaving the unfriender out, seeing as she's the one who's purposely made the others feel excluded just for shits and giggles.

I tell my children "smile and play dumb".
This woman is creating trouble. So act surprised if it's brought up. She's not your friend, let it go.

Never let people in this situation see that it bothers you. Also, if anyone brings it up, act surprised and make a pleasant excuse for her. "Oh? She's been really busy, she probably cleaned up her account. She's such a go getter mom isn't she? Always volunteering."

You get the idea. It's difficult to torture someone who is too dim to notice or could care less.

I do not have an fb account, my children are young adults. Thank goodness. the monthly school meetings, etc were bad enough. Good luck and I'm sorry...
But maybe she did do it accidentally?

The OP has said she's not a close friend. Perhaps the other mothers are actually close?

Either way, someone culling their friend list and deleting people they're not close to, is not bullying.

And to bandy that term about is an insult to victims of actual bullies.

Some people are easy come, easy go with their Facebook friend lists. Others only add/keep people they actually converse with on there or they have something in common with.

Having a kid attending the same school, is no reason alone for someone to keep people on their list.

I don't think you should take this so personal. God only knows why she unfriended you, maybe she didn't like your posts, maybe she doesn't actually like you, maybe she doesn't actually know you and decided to keep her friend list strictly to ppl she knows well. It could be any reason and you shouldn't care. In real life,not everyone will like you, not everyone will invite you into their lives. Doesn't mean you're a bad person or you've done something wrong. That's just people for you. Act like you haven't a clue or you do have a clue and you give zero fucks next time you see her. You can't control what other people do but you can control how you react. She deleted you and I doubt she's worrying about it so even though I understand you're feeling low as you've said and this can magnify simple things please just remind yourself it's social media,it's not really important and she's not important to your life. Don't give a reaction,keep the head up and stay in your own lane. Maybe she's a bully and if she is she will relish a reaction so make sure that's the last thing you give her. Smile say hi and trot on like ya give no fucks when you see her. People have no power over you unless you hand it to them...

WOW, how old are you?!

If this is all you have to worry about, then your doing pretty well I think!!!

I personally think you have looked too much into this. Lots of people have a friends FB ‘Cull’ Personally, I only use FB to keep in touch with family and some of my closest friends who either live abroad or who lve quite away from me. It’s wasted energy getting upset over an ‘acquaintance’. When you see her again, don’t be nervous, be the better person and say hello/acknowledge her and leave it at that. She has every right to defriend anyone for whatever reason and if she isn’t a best friend then try not to worry about it and move on. Take Care.

@PinUpDoll85

WOW, how old are you?!

If this is all you have to worry about, then your doing pretty well

Oh, don't be so bloody obnoxious and condescending.

@monkeyblonde do you have an update? How did it go at the school? Hope you feel a bit better now.

This thread has been picked up by Aussie media. So bloody sick of journalists using MN for stories www.essentialkids.com.au/education/school/help-ive-been-unfriended-by-a-school-mum-on-facebook-20180102-h0cczd

Op. You could be writing about me. I deleted some school mum friends before Christmas .. a mum asked me why and said she'd been really upset. I was horrified and ended up deleting every single bloody friend on there so I now only use it for school updates.

Anyway, for various reasons Facebook makes me really anxious and as other posters have said it just sounds like I used it differently to you.

I am not a bully, I'm actually very friendly and keen to meet other mums. I just don't do Facebook.

I was really grateful this mum was upfront with me. Why not ask the other mum?

I'm in a town starting with B by the way - just in case I am your friend!

still I actually think it’s plain rude to defriend someone whose child is in the same class as your child.

good grief, and you thought kids and teens school dramas were bad?

This woman is creating trouble

No she isn't. OP is.

Oops, not me, is it?!
I've recently unfriended a few mums from school. Left quite a few on there, though, but to someone feeling paranoid or if they don't know the other mums might think it's only them!
They've done absolutely nothing wrong, they're lovely people.
I just have a clearout every now and again.If I don't know you that well in real life, or never interact on FB, seems a bit strange to let someone you don't know that well have a window into your head and lives via social media.
People use it differently.I really wouldn't take it personally as it more than likely isn't it all.
You say yourself she's not a close friend. Give the unfriending a passing "meh" and go on your way.

I've been baffled by people who took me off Facebook but continue as normal is every other respect. I dont post much to facebook at all. Cant be that

Well,there you go,you've answered your own question! What's the point of staying friends on Facebook if by your own admission you hardly ever use it?
I want to be seeing pictures of your dinner, your daily updates of parking rage/pooping dogs/school run/making memories hashtags with the kiddywinks.
Or you interacting with my inane witterings.
Otherwise I might as well just be following a boring generic headshot picture that looks like a spambot.