To be offended that another school mum has unfriended me on FB?

[monkeyblonde]

She's not a close friend, but all other mums are still on there. I'm a bit nervous about going back to school!

Op you, and lots of other women, need to get your head around the fact that "friend" and "woman who has a child at the same school as mine" do not mean the same thing. It's really not healthy to judge your self worth by this sort of thing. Maybe delete fb from your phone for a bit and go and breathe in the real world, you might find it helps you feel better not be constantly exposed to fb nonsense.

I'm not sure how she's being a bully?
I've unfriended people & I had no idea it would be considered bullying. Can someone explain why? Thank you

She is not a bully because she tidied up her friends list
You are not close friends, you sound very dramatic, let it go. Maybe she wants to keep her facebook for close friends and family. There's nothing to be nervous about.
You are the grown up here, learn not to over-react because you will have to deal with your children's dramas

Do you spam your timeline with photos of your perfectly ordinary dinners?

If not, I’d be relieved that she’s unfriended you and change your privacy settings so that she can no longer see your profile and/or has the option to refriend you.

How on Earth is this bullying? The other woman is allowed to use Facebook in whatever way she likes, without being required to consider everyone she's ever met at the school gate. It's a New Year, she's probably just having a rethink about how she uses social media or doing a bit of tidying up.

It's a new year, perhaps the person was just doing an annual cleanse. If it's really bothering you though then maybe you need to take time out and think about why. It's social media, it shouldn't bother you like this.

FFS is that the same as being sent to Coventry, in real life? When you go to the school, just act as though you haven't even bothered with FB you have been far too busy actually talking and communicating face to face with people.

I don't get why people unfriend, unless it's someone you never see or speak to, or you have a strong reason to want them from your life. This is just an acquaintance, no? Or is there some back story?

It's easy to unfollow - you can even set up custom lists so only actual friends see most stuff. Why create bad feeling, when it's so easily avoided?

Bully?

You are kidding?

I tidy up my FB friends list all the time. I like a short list. If I never interact with you on FB I'll unfriend you without a second thought.

I defrinded a school mum who shared a really racist joke. Ive unfollowed anyinr who shares memes with minions in.

How did you even notice? Clearly you aren't friends anyway

@YorkieDorkie

In my experience they only post those statuses AFTER the cull! I.e. congratulations, if you can read this we’re still friends!

Which is pointless.

And a bit wank.

I tend to unfriend people after they do this

If she isn't close to the other mum's that are still there then she's taken against the stuff you're posting. Reasons I've got rid of people are racist posts/sharing Britain First nonsense and people constantly selling diet pills, Younique or whatever. But if you constantly post about your relationship, the little ones, how many times you go for a run or your dinners they could also be reasons. Or, at this time of year, a huge mound of Christmas presents for your kids could upset someone short of cash.
Admittedly I do tend to hide people rather than delete them if I know I'm going to see them regularly though.

I shouldn't have made the 'men' comment but I've never seen males whispering in a corner of the playground and go quiet when you go near (not taking that personally, just I'm not one to bitch about others - and I'm not talking about 'her' here). I guess being a mum throws up emotions that you never expected and I just want to get on with all if possible, especially as our children are in the same class for the next 6 years. Plus I'm the only mum in the class that she has removed - hence me feeling 'got at'. I don't post very often, but when I do it's the usual mum stuff - photos of kids, about family outings etc. I too have felt other 'friends' posts tedious/offensive but unfollow them rather than delete.
I see all points and am grateful for the advice. But as others have said I'm sure a part of all of you would question the same action.

I can't see how this makes her a "bully", or "dramatic" - or, indeed, why this would justify your preference for working with men . There's no obligation on anybody to use FB in the same way that you do.

How do you even find out out you've been unfriended? I wouldn't have a clue. I don't search to check people are still there.
I've unfriended people who've expressed racist or homophobic views and I'm good with that. It's not bullying to choose your friends.

Agree that if you barely know her, it's not bullying to slim down her social media as a new year thing. I've done that before with people I just don't see/interact with anymore.

I do wonder how you even knew, though? I Was there a drama that led to this, for you to realise someone you barely knew wasn't friended?

As a couple of others have said, it might not be a drama at all. I unfriended loads of people a few months ago including current work colleagues. I decided to just use Facebook for family and close friends, instead of every single person I’ve ever met. There wasnt anything personal meant. I suppose some people might have taken offence but that’s their issue not mine!

If her RL behaviour is also school-bullyish, then you probably don't need her as a friend anyway. If she unfriended you as well as excluding you in RL, then I can understand you being annoyed. If that's the only thing she's done, though, it could well mean absolutely nothing.

My dh works in an almost entirely male work environment and some of the messages he has shown me on his work whatsapp are the bitchiest things I've ever seen. Ditto a group he's on for a sport he plays that is also entirely made up of men.

Facebook is particularly bad at making insecure people feel as if they are part of a pecking order and popularity contest.

Don't get drawn in to it. If you want to keep a FB profile then do, but if it genuinely bothers you about people dropping off and on your friends list, then why not keep it for very close friends and family only?

Have you changed your profile pic to one that isnt of you? Drives me nuts although im aware some people do this on purpose.

Taking someone off FB isn't necessarily bullying but whispering to other people and then going quiet when you approach could be classed as that.

OP go into the playground bright and breezy. Don't mention to anyone that she's undfriended you. Carry on as normal.

OK I am being unreasonable - hence my question. The reason that I noticed as a couple of people have asked is she was suggested as a friend as FB helpfully does - and I know that she was until very recently.
Your advice is helpful but please don't judge me for asking the question. I've always been someone who wants to be liked and have always been upset when left out. That's me and why I wondered whether others would feel the same.