To be offended that another school mum has unfriended me on FB?

[monkeyblonde]

She's not a close friend, but all other mums are still on there. I'm a bit nervous about going back to school!

If she's a bully or gossip in real life, you're better off not having her on your friends list - less access she has to your life, less ammunition she has. Why would you want her as a friend anyway?

Calling her a bully is ridiculous!

Oh people remove me all the time. I do not give a shit. Most of the time I'm only on nod-if-I-pass-them-in-the-streets terms with them anyway. If she's a bit of a bully I would see it as the trash taking itself out and not worry about it. Drop kid off, pick kid up, don't give her a second thought.

@BlueThesaurusRex oh yeahhhh! Ugh. DELETE!

Has she Unfriended you or stopped Following you? Either way, try not to take it as a personal slight. She’s just rude.
If I get fed up with Friends who post drivel I stop following them. Much kinder than unfriending them.

@monkeyblonde

YANBU to feel hurt/offended/slighted. Don't feel bad about it.

As has been said though; go to school tomorrow and smile pleasantly, say hi, and walk on.... Don't mention to ANYone that she has unfriended you. And pretend you haven't noticed.

For the younger generation a FB 'unfriend' is a HUGE snub, and I don't think some people realise it.

Please don't feel too blue; she has probably done the same to a few others. Probably having a 'cull' of people who are simply acquaintances. Nothing personal.

One of my friends got really upset recently, over someone she thought was a friend (a neighbour of hers, 10 minutes walk,) who didn't send her a Christmas card, (even though she sent her one.)

She has stewed on it since about the 23rd of December, and is baffled and hurt that the neighbour never sent a card. No idea why the lass hasn't sent her one as she always has before. She has still been smiling/waving when passing my friend, but my friend still has a bee in her bonnet about not receiving a Christmas card from this woman!

It seems trivial to some, but like the FB unfriending (with the OP,) it's NOT trivial if it upsets someone.

I would not call the woman in the OP a bully of course, but YANBU to be miffed.

You think it's ok for women to do that then Pax? I'm surprised.

I've never seen anybody over the age of 15 do it. I do sometimes hear people accusing others of doing so, often people who think the world talks (or even thinks) about them.

If I am standing at a corner and whisper, it is unlikely "bitching". There are lots of things I don't want to share with lots of potential approachees without ever "bitching" about them.

I doubt there's not many people that would feel great about walking into a school playground to see a few other mums whispering and then stop talking completely when you get near.

I have been unfriended twice as far as I know. One is a relative if a relative and I assume he didn't like my response to a post if his, where I gave a truthful opinion.

The other more bizarre one, was by the community worker at our local church, which has a small congregation. She also unfriended at least two other family members. Not sure of the reason why, and the few times I have seen her since I haven't had the nerve to ask, as I didn't want an awkward situation. Just carried on as I would have do will never know.

It can be awkward on the playground if you feel people don't like you, but if she is a bit of a bully just don't make eye contact and she is no loss.

How did you notice though?
Are you actually friends in real life?

It takes me years to notice if someone unfriends me. Though agree it's kinder just to unfollow, so you don't see their posts but still stay friends.

Are you a constant poster on Facebook? That becomes annoying..

I often clear out my facebook and delete people I never talk to. If you never chat or interact on there then no point having them imo.

People I 'whisper' with...

One mum whose child had ADHD like mine but she doesn't like anyone else to know. She talks to me because I'm open about DD.

Another mum who's having issues with her child being bullied.

A little group of foreign mums and weird mums who have all found each other at DD's school and we marvel at the normies sometimes. It's a compliment!

I unfriended a school mum recently because she keeps making nasty bitchy comments to me. And since I'm too polite and passive aggressive to deal with the comments, I just unfriended her. Have you offended her, "disguised as wanting to get to know her"

My FB is used to keep in contact with old friends from uni days, friends that live too far away, and other mums of children with special needs.

I unfriended someone i’d been at school with (although was never particularly friendly with - when facebook first started, our whole class got back in touch) because she posted that Wayne and Colleen Rooney are fat. They’re obviously not fat - he’s an athlete, and shes often pictured in swimwear with a figure i’d kill for; so it wasn’t so much what she said, it was more that a woman in her 40’s would type something so stupid. I unfriended her because clonking her round the head would be frowned on, and bloody difficult since I havent seen her since 1986...

I know its hard, but ignore twats, and dont add her when she tries to ‘refriend’ you (ie when she needs you to do something for her).

Agreed again - she is a bully, and I don't know why I'm feeling upset - it's just like being back at school again and has dragged up all the horrible memories. I do need to grow up.

She;s not a fucking bully because she deleted you from FB, fgs. You are right though, you do need to grow up. One can't imagine why someone might not want you on their FB.....

There could be an innocent reason- i unfriended a school mum as i am a bit sweary and i like to go out and have a drink now and again and she is not like that at all - and i just decided i’d rather keep my life away from schoolmums i barely speak to and dont want them judging me. I still chat to her at school etc and i also wouldnt give a monkeys if someone unfriended me. Its not actually real life.

It’s really sad that FB. Has become so important tbh. It only matters if you let it

Just pretend you haven’t even noticed.

CorbynsBumFlannel I agree about men being bitchy but when men are they're called women, in other words not normal behaviour of men so men are still not bitchy; it's very annoying. People are individuals so logically some men and some women are bitchy (I hate even it being called bitchy actually, making it feminine again) and some are not

Now I know why I've always preferred to work with/for men

I wouldn't notice if someone did unfriend me. However, if they did (I see you've said it suggested her as a friend), I would just assume they were having a bit of a New Year clear out, or whatever. I wouldn't go poking about in their profile and start cross referencing with a class list. You must be pretty weird to do that, so perhaps that is what she is trying to avoid ?

Thanks @BackforGood, just the reassurance that I needed that I must just be weird.
As I only know her through school it was pretty easy as our 'mutual friends' pop up automatically.

This is the problem - I think about others feelings too much at the risk of my own. Obviously people like you are very different.

Are people really fb friends with every mum in their kids class? Even when mine were at a village school with 15 kids per class I wasn't fb friends with every parent.

Apparently three people have unfriended me and it took me ages to realise who they are. I assume it's because I don't have any contact with them any more. They were people I used to work with, but have moved away from. I'm not offended. I have nothing to say to them and one is a drama llama, just waiting for 'you ok hun?' and the other is needy. We have nothing in common now and I really can't care.

"I think about others feelings too much at the risk of my own."

to be honest - that sounds quite martyrish and passive aggressive. Not sure how you've put the other woman's feelings ahead of yours here?

Comment about preferring men made me role my eyes too. I'm afraid you're being the one being the "cliche needy female" here. Total over reaction to an acquaintance's actions on Facebook here.

All sorts of reasons why she might have unfriended you. Including that maybe she doesn't like you. Which doesn't make her a bully in itself.