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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To write on my neighbours car with lipstick?

194 replies

ALunerExplorer · 31/12/2017 21:38

I'm a wheelchair user - manual atm, because I can't afford an electric one. I live in a cul-de-sac, and several doors up there is a guy who parks his car on the pavement in front of the lamppost - which forces me to use the road, (pedestrians/parents with buggies have to walk round it too).

There are 2 off road parking spaces down our road, each providing parking for up to 10 cars. One of them is used by just one car. Given that this means trying to get up and down a raised kerb, which is impossible in a manual chair, what it usually means is having to call my ds out of the house so that he can do that for me.

A few days ago (after months of this) I had my notebook and pen in my bag, so wrote a note to leave on his windscreen. (I really hate being forced on to the road, it gives me awful anxiety):

Hi. I am your neighbour and a wheelchair user and parking on the pavements like this forces me onto the road. Please park more considerately in future. Thank you, and Happy Christmas

I got my son to stick in on his windscreen under the wiper. The following morning he was parked on the pavement right in front of my path so I couldn't even leave the house. He's now done this 3 times.

A friend of mine has suggested I write another note, on his windscreen using lipstick. (She is also a wheelchair user).

AIBU or is this (minor) vandalism justified do you think?

OP posts:
Coffeeelover · 02/01/2018 17:47

He sounds like an absolute cock but I would just knock on his door, he might be more reasonable face to face. Good luck

sweetface · 02/01/2018 17:47

I think you should be seeking advice, advocacy and support in order to be enabled to live a quality of life. Your neighbour parking on the pavement seems totally unreasonable :- Given the facts of car park being nearby, and your disability.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 02/01/2018 17:50

My Mum's NHS provided wheelchair was delivered several months after it was requested... 2 days after her funeral! The council arrived to mark up the disabled parking bay the day before her funeral....

LakieLady · 02/01/2018 17:54

Jeez, what a total cock.

I'd take pics and shame him all over social media. But calling 101 is probably a more mature response.

If someone did this where I live he'd be ostracised by everyone in the street.

libbyb · 02/01/2018 17:56

don't do any damage - you have a case and you will get it sorted legally. I appreciate all the advice to decorate the car but it will be you that will be charged with criminal damage - the photos and the diary and contacting the police so that every event is recorded is the best way - not as satisfying though, I agree :-(

libbyb · 02/01/2018 17:59

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou - that's so sad Very sorry for your loss and the sadness that the lateness of the services added to your family's distress. God Bless your Mum x

BigRedMama · 02/01/2018 18:00

Cook pass partridge..😂😂😂😂

Alidoll · 02/01/2018 18:02

While it’s tempting to write on his car, please don’t as it’ll be you facing criminal charges if you do.

As others have said, photographs and police (and drop a note to the council as well as generally they tend to be responsible for the pavements if I remember correctly).

He’s a idiot and knows it’s you that put the note there by the fact he’s parked directly outside your house so any damage to his car, you’ll get the blame and the bill for the damage (plus a whole lot of grief).

Good luck OP

Evan456 · 02/01/2018 18:02

It is illegal! Call the police if he doesn’t comply they’ll tow it as it’s a safety issue, if you needed an ambulance how would they get you out?

allwomanR · 02/01/2018 18:04

It is illegal to park on pavement (I’ve had this issue near mine and I’ve only got a buggy but it’s a busy road used by many wheelchair/elderly) my police officer neighbour assured me it was illegal but unlikely to be a police priority to enforce any time soon Confused
There are posters you can print off that illustrate the point about parking and dropped curbs that might be clearer than lipstick...
hopefully however you can persuade someone to clamp him like he deserves! Angry

annemac101 · 02/01/2018 18:07

There was a programme on to about a local council. They had an employee go around the streets measuring the space left on the pavement by any car parked on it. He said there must be enough room for a person to push a Pram by or person to use a wheelchair. If the required space was not there the car owner was issued with a fine. This should be the same everywhere.

Valerrie · 02/01/2018 18:08

An electric one, Susie? How long ago did they provide it?

pollymere · 02/01/2018 18:14

The police can tow the car for causing an obstruction. Don't be the criminal here, however tempting. You could also get the council to put in a disabled space with dropped curb outside your house so he would then be blocking this space.

sneeders · 02/01/2018 18:14

We had a similar problem when I used to look after my 92 year old MIL with dementia, and people would park across our drive blocking us in or out. My suggestion is rather than direct confrontation which is tempting but may escalate, is to write another note on paper, telling him that if he continues to obstruct your daily life you will have to report him to the council and then if he does do report him to the local council, photograph his vehicle, photograph your note and ask the council for a dedicated parking bay outside your house, which even if you dont use it people picking you up can use and he can’t. It is the local council who have responsibility for parking systems and enforcement. You can get a blue badge for people who reguarly give you lifts.

So sorry that this person is behaving so badly

ShonaClap · 02/01/2018 18:15

Alan Partridge joke.

PurplePenguins · 02/01/2018 18:18

Don't know what area your in OP but around here wardens and police push buggies down the street. If they can't get a buggy through, they give a ticket.

When he has blocked you in, phone the police. You must be able to leave your premises especially in the event of a fire. Good luck OP

Smudge100 · 02/01/2018 18:18

A local garage close to me used to park their cars on the pavement outside, annexing the pavement and forcing pedestrians into a busy road. I wrote to the local police about it and they sent someone out. It stopped. I think this would be a better way forward than approaching him directly. You‘ve already done that and he‘s responded by trying to annoy you. Take photos if necessary and add to your email, so the police don‘t think it‘s some tit for tat thing between neighbours. If he realises he might get fined, that could be the end of it.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/01/2018 18:36

I hope you've contacted the police OP. He sounds a nasty piece of work.

I live in a London borough and there are a couple of streets where pavement parking is allowed and there are signs up saying so. The pavements there are weirdly wide and the road very narrow - even with cars parked completely on the pavement there is room for two wheelchairs side by side to get passed! So it's not a 'rule' that it's not allowed in London.

Your neighbour is a CD arse wipe for doing this to you deliberately .

BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/01/2018 18:37

CD = CF Blush

wilton · 02/01/2018 18:40

If he is intentionally parking to prevent you from leaving your house and knowing you are a wheelchair user I would approach either citizens advice or a CIL and ask for support in reporting a hate crime. If you don't want to report it someone else can do it for you. Don't write on his car, it's not worth it and you give him something to complain about.

Original poster
ALunerExplorer · 02/01/2018 18:43

All of you - thank you. Flowers

I spoke to my local councillor, who as it happens lives just up the road from me. As luck would also have it, it turns out fella-me-lad with rude parking is also her plumber.

He's using one of the designated parking areas. My lipstick remains in tact. Grin

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/01/2018 18:44

Great result!

jocarter67 · 02/01/2018 18:48

Sorry but Nhs do supply wheelchairs if you need one. All of mine have been provided and serviced by the Nhs

Valerrie · 02/01/2018 19:03

@jocarter67 it's entirely dependent upon where you live and how much money is available. The NHS could only provide me with a manual wheelchair despite them knowing that I couldn't operate it and assessing me as needing an electric one because there were no funds.

You only have to Google it to see how many seriously disabled people are trying to crowdfund wheelchairs or having to use the mobility element of their Pip on electric wheelchairs leaving them with nothing for Motability.

Your experience may have been different to mine, but that doesn't mean the NHS provides electric wheelchairs to everyone that is assessed as needing one.

Hence me having to remain in my bed for a year because I couldn't have one until my PIP back payment went through. If it wasn't for that, I still wouldn't have one. I'm still housebound while I wait for an accessible bungalow, as my house has stairs both inside and outside.

greensummer · 02/01/2018 19:03

Please report it to the police. It is a hate crime.