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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To write on my neighbours car with lipstick?

194 replies

ALunerExplorer · 31/12/2017 21:38

I'm a wheelchair user - manual atm, because I can't afford an electric one. I live in a cul-de-sac, and several doors up there is a guy who parks his car on the pavement in front of the lamppost - which forces me to use the road, (pedestrians/parents with buggies have to walk round it too).

There are 2 off road parking spaces down our road, each providing parking for up to 10 cars. One of them is used by just one car. Given that this means trying to get up and down a raised kerb, which is impossible in a manual chair, what it usually means is having to call my ds out of the house so that he can do that for me.

A few days ago (after months of this) I had my notebook and pen in my bag, so wrote a note to leave on his windscreen. (I really hate being forced on to the road, it gives me awful anxiety):

Hi. I am your neighbour and a wheelchair user and parking on the pavements like this forces me onto the road. Please park more considerately in future. Thank you, and Happy Christmas

I got my son to stick in on his windscreen under the wiper. The following morning he was parked on the pavement right in front of my path so I couldn't even leave the house. He's now done this 3 times.

A friend of mine has suggested I write another note, on his windscreen using lipstick. (She is also a wheelchair user).

AIBU or is this (minor) vandalism justified do you think?

OP posts:
DontCallMeJohnBoy · 01/01/2018 11:51

OP, please get this reported as a hate crime. He parked badly and you left him a note asking him not to park like that again. So he deliberately parked in a different way knowing that to do so would cause you maximum inconvenience. Be clear when you call that this is not a traffic issue, it is someone deliberately going out of their way to behave in a way that detrimentally impacts on a wheelchair user.

Putting lipstick on his windscreen, dog muck under the door handles etc. (stunner from a parking thread last night) brings you down to his level. Just pass this to the police.

Kittykatmacbill · 01/01/2018 12:04

If it is genuinely trapping you In your home, might the local fire department be able to help? Maybe query thru their non emergency number.

But yes please log with the police as both hate crime and a parking offence.

Don’t damage his car...

treeofhearts · 01/01/2018 12:05

If there's no choice but to park on the pavement I find somewhere else to fucking park. Even if that means parking several streets away. The guy is a wanker and deserves his paint job scratched.

user1495222250 · 01/01/2018 12:11

I'd be calling the Police non-emergency number, OP. He's blocking you from leaving your house, what if there was an emergency? This is not acceptable and now that he knows you're disabled, I'd consider his retaliation very dangerous.

CombineBananaFister · 01/01/2018 12:21

Did there used to be this many selfish dickheads in the world or have people just got more self centred and unkind? I don't remember this sort of thing growing up, you'd be mortified if you were stopping a wheelchair user getting by and apologise.
I notice it more on the schoolruns these days - those zigzags don't apply to me, I don't care if my parking forces you into the road with your children as long as it's convenient for ME attitude Sad
I'd ask for advice of local councillor or police, hope you get it sorted. Take photo?

GladAllOver · 01/01/2018 12:25

OP have you called 101 yet and explained the problem?

That's all you have to do, and the police will come out and sort it.

StaplesCorner · 01/01/2018 13:37

froginapond - how can she go round there? He's trapped her in her house.

froginapond · 01/01/2018 14:41

@StaplesCorner

how can she go round there? He's trapped her in her house.

I said - if you had been bothered to read my post properly - she could go, or send someone else around.

And why aim this question at me, when other posters have suggested it too? Hmm

StaplesCorner · 01/01/2018 15:28

I was attracted to your eloquence.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 01/01/2018 15:58

Nuisance parking is the sort of thing that PCSOs were meant to be brought in to deal with. I'd be calling 101 and speaking to the council about a dedicated space.

I understand your frustration, but communicating via enraged notes never, ever solves anything.

MissDuke · 01/01/2018 16:04

Those saying it is illegal to park on the pavement - you are wrong. It is prohibited in some areas (all of London for example) and some areas will have signs specifically saying it is not allowed. However generally it is acceptable unless you are doing what is happening to the op and blocking someones access. I would definitely say it is common sense to not park there, but not illegal. Everywhere I go, I see cars parked on the pavement, it is a part of daily life unfortunately!

However deliberately damaging someones care is of course a criminal offence.

MissDuke · 01/01/2018 16:08

Did there used to be this many selfish dickheads in the world or have people just got more self centred and unkind?

Totally agree!!! One day my mum was collecting my children from school, she was waiting to cross the road. A car driver beeped at her and started waving frantically, mum just stared in confusion and the woman shouted, move, I want to park there. Right up on the pavement with all four wheels, as it was right by the school gates Confused Crazily rude!!!

Thankfully we get spells of the police patrolling the area at school run time which does help for a short time. The police are clear though that two wheels up on the pavement is fine, as long as not blocking drives or the zig zag lines.

BrownTurkey · 01/01/2018 16:16

E-mail a sadface picture of yourself and his car to the local paper. Hopefully they will put it all over social media and his parents and boss will see it. Alternatively, pretend you don’t know who it is and ask everyone in your street if they know, explaining your dilemma in a polite and self-effacing way. Hopefully they will take up the fight for you.

OVienna · 01/01/2018 16:21

Who won CF of the Year 2017? This guy is in early for 2018. Please ring the police.x

FlouncyDoves · 01/01/2018 16:23

Shame that brick of yours found its way through his window onto him front seat, isn’t it?

Tistheseason17 · 01/01/2018 16:27

What BrownTurkey says as well as 101 and getting a dedicated bay outside your house.

What a selfish pig, sorry for you OP Flowers

AnneElliott · 01/01/2018 16:34

I agree he's a selfish arse! Sun cream on your hands makes a terrible mess of car paintwork - particularly metallic paint. Just saying.

Smeaton · 01/01/2018 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SchoolMoney · 01/01/2018 18:56

Another vote for police. Don't waste your lipstick!

AthelstaneTheUnready · 01/01/2018 19:04

Does he think he's helping?

You said he lives 'a few doors down', but in your note you said 'I'm your neighbour', so maybe he thought that by parking it a few houses away he wouldn't be getting in the way of his immediate 'neighbour' any more?

MancGirl · 02/01/2018 17:35

Next time they park so you can’t leave the house call the police and they will take his car away. That’s what I got told after a selfish female neighbour parked across my driveway so I couldn’t get out. I knocked on every door in the neighbourhood to find out who owned the car (it was a new car she just purchased) and nobody owned up. Once the police came she soon came over to move it. Apologised in front of them. I told her in front of them if it happened again I would burn her car with her in it. I was heavily pregnant at the time and if we needed to go to the hospital would have been unable to due to the selfishness of others. Probably shouldn’t have said that in front of the police but it’s the only thing that scared her off. Has not done it again.

genic75 · 02/01/2018 17:37

Does your mouth work??? How about you SPEAK to him about the issue????

CeciliaBartolli · 02/01/2018 17:38

No I think you should speak to your local Police Officer.

Susiiejane · 02/01/2018 17:43

Yes, the NHS do provide wheelchairs, I have one.

Worriedmi · 02/01/2018 17:46

They is blocking acess! It is agaist the law so id talk to the poluce for their advivmce you have been nice! They are not!