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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To write on my neighbours car with lipstick?

194 replies

ALunerExplorer · 31/12/2017 21:38

I'm a wheelchair user - manual atm, because I can't afford an electric one. I live in a cul-de-sac, and several doors up there is a guy who parks his car on the pavement in front of the lamppost - which forces me to use the road, (pedestrians/parents with buggies have to walk round it too).

There are 2 off road parking spaces down our road, each providing parking for up to 10 cars. One of them is used by just one car. Given that this means trying to get up and down a raised kerb, which is impossible in a manual chair, what it usually means is having to call my ds out of the house so that he can do that for me.

A few days ago (after months of this) I had my notebook and pen in my bag, so wrote a note to leave on his windscreen. (I really hate being forced on to the road, it gives me awful anxiety):

Hi. I am your neighbour and a wheelchair user and parking on the pavements like this forces me onto the road. Please park more considerately in future. Thank you, and Happy Christmas

I got my son to stick in on his windscreen under the wiper. The following morning he was parked on the pavement right in front of my path so I couldn't even leave the house. He's now done this 3 times.

A friend of mine has suggested I write another note, on his windscreen using lipstick. (She is also a wheelchair user).

AIBU or is this (minor) vandalism justified do you think?

OP posts:
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 01/01/2018 01:22

Just leave a deep scratch on it as you pass.

That's what I do when cars part half on the pavement and half on the road as I pass with my buggy.

I don't go on the road...I drag my pram past their car and if it happens to scratch it, hard luck.

The pavement is not for cars.

Penners99 · 01/01/2018 02:36

Report as a hate crime

RhodaBorrocks · 01/01/2018 03:06

It's definitely a hate crime, as this is his response to you politely explaining why his parking was problematic. It shows intent to cause you harm despite knowing your situation.

Make sure to tell the police you knkw it's intentional because you asked politely that he didn't block the pavement and in response he's blocked you completely. No doubt if he gets a visit from the PCSO he'll claim he didn't realise and it was an honest mistake, so make sure you tell them the whole story in advance.

PlaydoughGirl · 01/01/2018 03:12

I worked for one of the NHS Wheelchair Services, and they do supply wheelchairs at no cost - both manual and electric - as long as you meet the criteria.

SilverBirchTree · 01/01/2018 05:45

Grr what a prick. I am so angry for you OP

Foobarjar · 01/01/2018 05:52

I'd go round ( if you can access his place) and explain the issue.

Then if they fail to resolve, I'd record the whole issue on video and place it on social media, for people to share and shame. Job done. CF

OhBondageUpYours · 01/01/2018 05:54

I've called 101 and had someone ticketed for blocking the pavement (and I only have a pushchair), they will absolutely come out and ticket for a wheelchair user.

Beakyplinders · 01/01/2018 05:54

Whwre i live the council traffic wardens will issue fines for parking on the pavement or across drop curbs. Give your council a call, explain the situation to them and see if they can help, at the end of the day if they ticket the car then that's more money in their pocket too so they'll probably be happy to do it.

daisychain01 · 01/01/2018 05:58

YABU to write on the car in lipstick nope she’s not

Not after he’s ignored the OP’s reasonable request already


It doesn't matter whether the OP has made a reasonable request and it has been ignored, it doesn't excuse criminal damage.

YABU to put lipstick or anything else on someone's windscreen. That's madness! You might want to but just don't do it, unless you want to create problems for yourself. Report it through the correct channels and don't lower yourself to the CFs level.

ohlittlepea · 01/01/2018 05:59

What a nasty bastard. Id try to talk face to face. And keep a diary with dated pics. If ypure blocked into your house you can call the police. Are you friendly with other neighbours chat with them about it too peer pressure might help as if ypu were my neighbour id be appalled thst ypu were being blocked into your home like this.

MissDuke · 01/01/2018 06:36

Bit shocked at the buggy lady above who proudly leaves 'deep scratches' in cars. Have to say I would never go to that extreme, but I guess everyone's morals are different. No matter whether they should be parked there or not, criminal damage is not ok Confused

OP this is disgraceful. As mentioned already, definitely contact the police and describe it as a hate crime/harassment. Fingers crossed that they come out and have a word with him. Disgusting behaviour from this CF!

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/01/2018 06:57

What an arse! I once got a ticket for parking too far onto a pavement (in Reading) - it was fair enough as I selfishly hadn't considered wheelchair users. Is there a traffic warden number you could call maybe? That would give him a jump I'm sure.

Bindibot · 01/01/2018 09:05

What a total and utter wankstain.
I fucking hate people who do this.

Then infant DSis was injured thankfully not badly when a wanker did the same and while trying to get around it a car hit her pram. DSis was a bit shook up, Mum & Dad were distraught.

Thank God for old Sliver Cross prams, like mini tanks.

Call the police on this shithead, report as a hate crime which it is.

cloudyweewee · 01/01/2018 09:14

My dad had to used a mobility scooter and his opinion was that if people parked on the pavement he'd have no option but to squeeze past and if that meant scratching a car, then tough. My mom has to use a wheelchair for some journeys ( with me pushing) and I adopt the same approach as my dad. Don't want your car scratched? Then park in the road. Simple.

Valerrie · 01/01/2018 09:19

@PlaydoughGirl

Thats odd seeing as Wheelchair Services came to my house, measured me up for a chair and said that even though they knew I couldn't operate a manual wheelchair, that was all they could provide due to NHS cutbacks and I'd have to buy my own. I meet every criteria.

OhBondageUpYours · 01/01/2018 10:43

MissDuke I also scratch cars with my pushchair if it means not pushing my kids into oncoming traffic.

crazycatgal · 01/01/2018 10:50

Those of you who push your pushchairs etc down the sides of cars who are parked on the pavement - what do you do when there is no choice but to park partially on the pavement?

There are a couple of streets near my house where everyone parks partly on the pavement because the roads are narrow and a car wouldn't be able to drive down otherwise. The roads are quiet and not many cars go down there. I personally wouldn't have a house where the parking is like this but at the end of the day what else can they do?

BlurryFace · 01/01/2018 10:59

MissDuke, I object to stepping into a busy road with a buggy when my child and I have a right to the pavement. If some poor petrolhead's paint job gets scratched because I decide to find out the hard way whether we can squeeze past, that's their look out - I'm not running my keys down it after all.

Valerrie · 01/01/2018 11:04

@crazycatgal That's what my street is like. Most of us don't have drives and if we both parked either side of the road, nothing would get through. This means I can't use my wheelchair in my street, but in order to park our cars I have to lump it. Luckily it's a quiet street with a cul-de-sac at the end so I don't mine going into the road and the pram pushers do the same.

If there was parking and people were just being obnoxious, and I lived on a busy road, it would be completely different.

honeyroar · 01/01/2018 11:09

Speak to the police, or leave one final note saying if he continues to block your route you will have no alternative but to contact the police. He sounds a nasty piece of work. If you lower yourself to his level, writing in lipstick etc, he may well come back with something more aggressive or intimidating.

GladAllOver · 01/01/2018 11:15

It's illegal to park on a footpath, unless there are signs and markings to permit it.

Don't make matters worse by contacting him. Just call 101 and the police will sort it.

CaptainBirdeyeDoesntGiveAShit · 01/01/2018 11:19

Do you know who he is? Can your son push you to his door and tell/ask him face to face to move. Face to face he might not be so much of a twat and stop it.

NurseButtercup · 01/01/2018 11:19

I'm sorry your experiencing this - whilst yanbu to write lipstick on your neighbours car I wouldn't advise it.

Your first step should be to contact your local council parking enforcement team. They will come out and give him a parking ticket. This is the guidance for Newcastle City Council which I imagine is the same for most other councils across the country.

www.newcastle.gov.uk/parking-roads-and-transport/parking/parking-tickets-and-enforcement/enforcement-of-dropped-kerbs

Good luck!

mumof06darlings · 01/01/2018 11:27

You need to think of it as - if something happened to you, you could not get out or emergency people could not get into you. Very selfish behaviour on his behalf.

froginapond · 01/01/2018 11:27

@ALunarExplorer

Hey there. Sorry you are are going through this. Very unpleasant for you OP. Sad

These are the kind of nobfishes who chuck cig butts and beer cans out of the car window, who play loud music so everyone in the damn road can hear it, who tail gate you on the road, and almost knock your offside wing off whilst over-taking, and who would steal the milk out of your coffee and come back for the sugar. Life's cunts. There are plenty of them.

YANBU to emblazon TWAT on this driver's windscreen. But I get the feeling the lippy option may make him worse, if he has ignored your original plea.

FGS don't go putting 'deep scratches' into his car as one poster suggested. That will make him even more hostile, and will result in a bill running into may 100's of pounds for you (and possibly a criminal record!)

I would go with ringing 101. Sounds like he needs a visit from the boys in blue. You are not wasting their time; I think this person is breaking some kind of bye-law. (I could be wrong though.) I am sure that you're not meant to park on the pavement though.

Best to call 101, or if not, call the council tomorrow. Ask what your options are. Whether it's illegal or not, it's fucking nasty what he is doing.

One last thing; as a few posters have suggested, could you (or someone you know) pop around and ask him (nicely) to please not park there first? (Before you ring 101 or the council....) To be fair, 101 and the council will probably tell you to do that. So maybe do that first...

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