You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas if you have no intention of catering for them?

[Trueheart1]

You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas dinner if you have no intention of catering for them?

I am a vegetarian. I went to my MIL's for Christmas dinner and all I could eat was Brussels sprouts, peas, carrots and potatoes. Without gravy!

The stuffing, gravy etc.. all had animal products.

There were 14 of us in total and 3 of us were very disappointed vegetarians.

I usually host and make sure everyone is catered for. I felt quite irritated, as I had offered to bring any part of the meal and if she had told me she was not catering for the vegetarians, I would have done it.

My MIL is very traditional and supports fox hunting. I suspect that she does not agree with being vegetarian and this was her passive aggressive way of showing that.

In every other way she is lovely and a great MIL. She wants us to come again next year. How do I politely make sure this does not happen again?

taps fingers while waiting for deep and meaningful comeback 😐

I strongly suspect someone is pumped full of drugs 56 and it's not my dog. 😆

It is not difficult to provide a vegetarian meal. If you can't or don't want to cook from scratch (understandable if you are new to the idea) all the supermarkets do perfectly acceptable ready meals.

positively

You are much more succinct than me Rhonda 😁

What Rhonda said

I'm a pescatarian who eats mainly vegetarian and I have also done the full turkey Christmas dinner while catering for myself too. It's not hard. Potatoes roasted in vegetable oil (which my chef ex did as standard), gravy made with vegetable water and Bisto, a Christmas pudding with vegetable suet (there are plenty off the shelf that are suitable for vegetarians so easy enough to pick up one for the non-meat-eaters), vegetarian stuffing (even good old packet sage and onion) etc. The shops are full of vegetarian dishes and I have never had to suffer a nut roast or lump of quorn. This year I had a giant mushroom vol au vent from Aldi.

If I invite someone to my home, I see it as part of my duty as a host to serve food they can bloody eat! It's the height of bad manners to do anything else. I don't know of any country in my years of travelling in which such a travesty of hospitality would be acceptable.

Well I stick to my opinion that MIL is nasty. She must have known that OP would not be able to eat the stuffing or the gravy. I can't stand gravy but most people I know would not eat a roast dinner without it.

Also why use animal suet in Christmas pud? I assume she made it herself as you can buy it with veggie suet in easily enough. Also lard in the mince pies! Who the hell uses lard nowadays?

I think she knew very well what she was doing and thought she was very clever

Also why use animal suet in Christmas pud? I assume she made it herself as you can buy it with veggie suet in easily enough. Also lard in the mince pies!

I agree that that is very wierd indeed.

I think your MIL was being passive aggressive. We had 7 to cook for this year and 6 of us eat the usual Christmas meal but my lovely MIL is coeliac and vegan. I found a recipe for a lovely slow cooker Moroccan veggie and chickpea stew that she had with roast potatoes that we cook in olive oil any way. I also found a recipe for a vegan gluten free tiramisu that took me 10 minutes to make the night before. She really enjoyed it and it was no hassle. Some people just have to 'make a point'.

I only invite people I care about and want to feed. It goes without saying that I would want to provide something delicious for everyone to eat. The rest is passive-aggressive bullshit.

Gosh, food choices are so emotive aren't they?

I'm assuming all the meat eaters who are saying the meal was suitable for vegetarians and can't see the issue, would also be happy with being served any sort of meat? Because, y'know it's suitable for meat eaters; Horse? Puppy? Kitten? Hamster?

@SuburbanRhonda

You're a dick

Omg what a comeback, mum. You win

Omg what a comeback, mum. You win

Those are your words. You can take credit. I'm not in a competition with you, even if you seem to think it's a competition. People who try to debate by name calling are usually have a low iq. I was just conversing on a level I knew you'd understand.

I have never had to suffer a nut roast

I serve nut cutlet (so effectively nut roast) sometimes to meat-eaters, veggies and vegans alike as long as they don't have a nut allergy - it's delicious and always goes down really well.

Why are some posters so adamant that the chef in this situation was being sly and nasty? The only person who has actually met her has consistently said she's a really nice person. It's much more likely that she just doesn't "get it".

Was ay MILs yesterday and I asked ahead if we needed to bring anything for DD who is vegetarian. She said no. When we arrived she had made 2 types of chilli con carne so I thought one would be veggie. No, one was spicy one was not??!! DD had a frozen cheese and tomato pizza. She was fine with this as she doesn't like to make a fuss but it did make me wonder why people are so terrified of cooking vegetarian food, a veggie chilli is so simple and if you're happy to make 2 versions anyway??? She did make me laugh as she asked my DD for the umpteenth time, "So you don't eat chicken either?"

Why on earth did your DH not say “Ooh everything looks lovely! What are the vegetarians having?”

I agree that politeness means it’s a bit less realistic for you to have done that but he absolutely could and should have.

I would say nothing and simply turn up next year with provisions. Don't give her the opportunity to debate it or reflect. And don't get into a discussion: "I thought this would be easier and it's one of my favourite festive veggie dishes I was looking forward to sharing." End.

I wouldn't create a stink either - I've lost the energy for them overall - too many battles to fight! But also I don't think it would produce the desired outcome. She'll be too busy feeling embarrassed and defensive. It'll become a 'theme' for your interaction, that time she starved you at Xmas. Your DH probably doesn't feel he knows her well enough to be blunt.

Cook do a fantastic nut loaf by the way. Better bring double as I know how annoying it is for the veggie stuff to go quick.

PMSL at @mumof56 You OK hun???

I agree with the people who said the MIL probably didn't do it deliberately, but to say a plate of veg (with no gravy,) was a decent Christmas dinner, is laughable.

There is shitloads of stuff you can get for veggies; and the OP's husband needs to make sure this doesn't happen again by having a (friendly) word with his mother and asking if his wife can have some more veggie choices next year. It's not that hard to provide a bit of veggie food FGS!

I can’t even imagine thinking this let alone sharing it. She invited you to Christmas and you think she hasn’t done well enough for you?? shock
Just say “thank you” and stay home and eat exactly what you want if the food is really THAT central to your enjoyment. Personally I think your priorities are waaaaay out. Christmas is about the people, not fucking gravy.
This.

PMSL ^

derza, so you would happily eat just some sprouts, carrots, peas and roast potatoes with no gravy would you? Then not be able to eat the Christmas pudding or mince pies.

Yes get togethers whether at Christmas or other times is mainly about people but the food is also important surely? It certainly is in my view.

I cannot believe the rude and pretty strange people that have posted on this thread

It's a situation where every loophole was closed. I would have eaten the vegetables and then vowed that I wouldn't do the same next year. We were clearly meant to froth about fox hunting.