To tell my DCs "Don't even think about it"?

[inabizzlefam]

My Dcs seem to be under the impression that when they marry and have children, i'm going to provide them, as a "loving grandparent", with free childcare whilst they go to work.
AIBU in telling them that, whilst I have no problem with babysitting if they want to go out for an evening, they will have to get a full time childminder or Nanny in order to pursue their careers?

Pearls that's not quite right as pp's mum has paid off her mortgage and gathered a great deal of equity so yes she still has to pay the market rate for a house (like anyone else) but unlike a first time buyer she can buy outright with no mortgage. That's a huge benefit.

OPs posts don't add up, she's disappeared and this is is journalist fodder.

Of course yanbu to tell them how you feel about childminding/babysitting. Yabu to accuse an entire generation of acting entitled when it's your own dc you are referring to. Perhaps you should look into the reasons your dc act entitled and expect more from you than you are willing to give.

I am always shocked at the amount of people who expect grandparents to be free childminders to small children. I wouldn't expect nor was it offered but my mum is my back up if one of dc is unwell and can't attend daycare. She doesn't mind doing that at all but my parents are exhausted anytime they have dc I couldn't imagine them doing it full time.

There is a world of difference between babysitting and childcare. Looking after babies and toddlers is tiring for anyone, let alone if you are 65+. From my observations you get the old school mothers / grans that aren’t happy unless they are surrounded by kids, that is all they now know as they gave up work 30+ years ago to have kids, possibly went back to part time work for a-while. You then get the
hands-off grans who possibly had a career, went back to work, have an active social life, happy to show off their grandchildren but provide very little help.

Dare I say it, from my own experience it is a class thing.

I don't think your children should expect free childcare, I also don't think you should offer it (beyond some babysitting for the odd evening out) unless you can do it for all your children because that will breed resentment from those who don't benefit and see their siblings having a much easier life of it.

My Mum looks after DB's 3 kids 3 days a week, she also babysits when DB and SIL goes on holiday regularly without the kids. All this for free. I get no childcare from her, I live far away so don't expect it but then I get told how wonderful SIL is because she buys her expensive presents. There seems to be no understanding that DB and SIL earns a lot more than me, they have no childcare costs and frankly unless they are buying DM a new car every year she's not really repaying the cost to my Mum of the childcare they are getting for free.

I have recently taken very early retirement and would love to help look after my dgs but he is too far away for me to do so. I do rush down if he is too ill to go to nursery and stay for a few days until he is well again. I would not offer to look after him every day though as it would be too tiring for me as he is very energetic and he likes to be constantly doing things.

yanbu i have already told my daughter i wont be looking after her children. she is 10 at the moment tho so its not an issue at the mo. but she said once you can look after my kids while i go to work. i said no i wont if you have kids they are your job not mine and your dads... we will be going travelling so wont be here all of the time anyway