Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - I've taken my present back...

304 replies

charliebearr · 27/12/2017 16:50

Bought my son (he is 23) a second hand car for Christmas (a very very OTT present from me).

It was a complete surprise.

I couldn't give him the gift on xmas morning as the car needed a final check before we took it but, he was told earlier in the year if he passed his test we would think about getting him a car.

Christmas morning came & I had a token gift ready and of course no mention of the car. He was noticeably irritated about it. His behaviour towards the day deteriorated so steeply I put him out of the house around midnight until he cooled off. He told me it was all too do with the car etc.

The car arrived today. He seen the car but, didn't come down but, my partner said he was taking photos of it from inside gearing up to come out. I called the garage back and got someone to come lift it and have cancelled the contract since. AIBU?

OP posts:
ButteredScone · 27/12/2017 16:52

Did you really do that? Or are you asking in case you do?

Trailedanderror · 27/12/2017 16:53

Very unreasonable. Who didn't you tell him about the car on Christmas Day and why didn't you call him down this morning.

dinosaursandtea · 27/12/2017 16:54

He probably thinks you got a new car for yourself and that’s why he got a shit present!

GlitteryFluff · 27/12/2017 16:54

Oh no I think that’s a bit harsh! Confused

Mumof56 · 27/12/2017 16:55

You put him out of the house at midnight to cool down Confused

neonpidgwidgeon · 27/12/2017 16:55

What strange responses.
Your adult son was so difficult on Christmas that he was asked to leave the house.
He doesn't deserve a car. He can buy his own.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 27/12/2017 16:55

Yikes! Need a bit of backstory here. How did his behaviour deteriorate so badly you sent a present back? After he cooled off did he apologise for his behaviour?
At the end of the day it’s your decision and at 23 he’ll get over it but he’d have to have done something terrible for me to send a present back.

Lucisky · 27/12/2017 16:56

You are both being unreasonable, him for his poor behaviour, and you for being rather spiteful. Why couldn't you have wrapped up the keys and told him the car was being checked over prior to delivery? We're you setting him up for a fail? You must know your son and how he would be likely to act in these circumstances. It doesn't excuse his behaviour at all though. It all sounds rather childish and fraught.

LadyB49 · 27/12/2017 16:56

This sounds really OTT. Did you not tell ds at Christmas that you had bought the car and that it would arrive today?

Katinkka · 27/12/2017 16:56

Dear God. The poor sod.

PotteringAlong · 27/12/2017 16:56

You didn’t tell him about his present on Christmas Day? Why not?

Cambionome · 27/12/2017 16:56

Tbh I think your behaviour has been quite odd, op.Confused

Fattymcfaterson · 27/12/2017 16:57

Did he think you'd got him nothing for Xmas? I'm confused. You say he didn't know about the car but then his behaviour was bad at midnight so you kicked him out... Because of the car?

Tinselistacky · 27/12/2017 16:57

You sent a 23 yo out of the house?? Grin

GlubGlubGlub · 27/12/2017 16:57

You sound really weird and quite nasty tbh.

gamerchick · 27/12/2017 16:57

You should have told him about the car Christmas Day.

Tbh the way you’ve all behaved says quite a bit about family dynamics in general tbf.

PinkHeart5914 · 27/12/2017 16:57

Do you normally buy him gifts for Christmas? I think if you normally buy him some gifts and then this year you just hand over a token present only without any “we’re not doing presents” chat first then no wonder he was surprised as he had no idea about the car.

Did you really put a 23 year old outside the house at midnight to “cool off” ? mean what the actual fuck

I think sending the car back would be one mighty over reaction as most of us have probably been a dick when in our 20’s

LockedOutOfMN · 27/12/2017 16:58

I wonder where your son inherited his irritable behaviour.

AaronPurrSir · 27/12/2017 16:58

If your son were 17 I’d probably say you were being a bit harsh, but at 23 his stroppy, childish behaviour and sulking is embarrassing.

EB123 · 27/12/2017 16:58

What kind of behaviour led to him having to be sent outside?

It sounds like game playing. Why not just tell him about the car on Christmas morning?

ILoveMyMonkey · 27/12/2017 16:58

I called the garage back and got someone to come lift it and have cancelled the contract since. AIBU?. God I hope you didn't really do this. If so then yabu.

Does he know that the car was for him?

Maybe he was irritated on Christmas day because he only got a token gift and felt hurt and left out because he hadn't got a proper Christmas present especially if he didn't know he was getting a car.

MatildaTheCat · 27/12/2017 16:58

Are you living on Albert Square? The soaps always have some crap storyline where some poor soul is left feeling shit and disappointed before the big reveal.

Only you didn’t actually do the big reveal at all, all day? Why not? How could he be grateful for a gift he was hoping for but didn’t receive?

YABVU.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 27/12/2017 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleMinionMummy · 27/12/2017 16:59

He was probably wondering why he only got a token present and was upset? A token present is fine if you know why, not so much if you don't know why and/or everyone else has got normal gifts.

Original poster
charliebearr · 27/12/2017 16:59

I wanted to see his face when it turned up at the house!

I think my actions were justified! If it has been any other present I would have simply kept it away until another time. I will renew the contract at another point but, I am never ever going to reward someone for treating me so badly especially from my own son.

OP posts: