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Original poster

Common in law wife? And wills

220 replies

harvester77 · 27/12/2017 10:34

Having a conversation over Xmas with family members and they asked if my other half has done a will. We have 3 kids and his house in his name on mortgage but he said if anything happened to him in to sell the house as it's mostly paid off and get the money. But if he hasn't done a will is it possible his other family could go for the the money? What would happen to us and the kids? We don't believe in marriage a s never crossed my mind but I'm unsure of what really would happen of someone happens to him? God forbid. Thank you

OP posts:
FitBitFanClub · 27/12/2017 14:07

If the Op is still reading this thread, she will have noticed the overwhelming advice to get married, despite "not believing in it." However, she said in her OP that neither of them believed in it, so it may well be that her partner has no intention of marrying, even if she is now reconciled to the idea.

ChristmasAtSquiffanys · 27/12/2017 14:08

It's worrying that a woman will bring three children into the world and not check that they will have anywhere to live if their father dies or just decides to throw them out and move another woman in...

peachgreen · 27/12/2017 14:17

OP according to your previous threads your partner has already threatened to leave you and take the children. He's also been both physically and emotionally abusive. I think you need to seek legal advice. I'm loathe to recommend you marry a man who has hurt you but at the same time I think you desperately need the protection marriage offers, especially if you plan on staying with him. Please do seek legal advice. Citizen's Advice might be a good place to start.

Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2017 14:25

peachgreen wise words.

zsazsajuju · 27/12/2017 19:44

Their children would inherit though unless he has willed his property to someone else. So its lot like they will be left penniless. If they were married he could still will it to someone else.

He doesn't sound like the type of man I would like to marry (going by what previous poster said). Not sure why mumsnet is so pro - marriage, if i had got married to my last dp i would be much worse off as I would have to give him a big chunk of my assets that I would rather went to my dc or were kept by me.

TDHManchester · 27/12/2017 20:08

Only read page one. My advice is NEVER live in someone elses house.

If partner dies, his relatives will lay claim to it and hoof you out on the street. Money talks.

Of course if he writes a will NOW that will afford you some protection but then next year,well you could fall out,split and he could rip it up in your face and you would be in the same position.

You would then have to litigate using TOLATA to try to establish an interest in the property.

The answer is either

a) get married
or
b) have a deed of trust drawing up and notarised by a solicitor. Not sure if this can also be registered at land reg.

If he refuses to do A or B ,id seriously think about leaving now.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 27/12/2017 20:26

Several countries do give rights to unmarried partners - in Sweden for example you will get rights to assets acquired during the relationship if you are a couple permanently living together in a relationship with a common household. Law does not define how long you have to live together for this to happen but courts have generally said it should be at least 6 months.

Are you sure about this. There is the incredibly sad story of Steig Larsson - all his post-humously earned money and control of his work went to his father and brother that he had little to do with rather than his long term partner. It is particularly sad as it is believed that the only reason they didn’t get married was because it would have put their security at risk.

KatharinaRosalie · 27/12/2017 20:49

You can look up the law yourself, it's called sambolagen. It's quite limited in scope and doesn't give right to inheritance though, which was probably the issue.

ForalltheSaints · 27/12/2017 20:52

Everyone in my view should make a will once they have or are in property independent of their childhood home, mortgaged or rented. If only to spare their nearest and dearest a lot of work were they to die unexpectedly.

The OP should be seeking a will to be made and make one herself.

crisscrosscranky · 27/12/2017 21:08

There's also the fact that if he was seriously unwell it wouldn't be your choice as to whether his life support was on or off!

Bingbongboo29 · 27/12/2017 21:19

I have a question. If he died and you have children together but not married, children all under 18...would they inherit and the other parent a trustee...?

HappyAndRelaxed · 27/12/2017 21:24

You and your DC wouldn't be entitled to anything. There is no legal agreement or contract so his family are entitled to claim all of his estate/money/belongings.

splendide · 27/12/2017 22:15

You and your DC wouldn't be entitled to anything

This is not correct - the children would inherit!

splendide · 27/12/2017 22:16

In England they’d inherit everything in fact.

DeepanKrispanEven · 27/12/2017 22:39

They only inherit if there is no surviving spouse or civil partner. If their father was already married to someone else, or subsequently marries, the spouse is entitled to part of the estate in the absence of a will.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 27/12/2017 23:01

If you don't "believe in marriage" then you don't get to have the protection it provides, simple as.

Thank fuck this "common law wife" bollocks doesn't exist, but I really didn't believe there was anyone who still fell for it.

Andylion · 27/12/2017 23:31

Many posters are saying that common law relationships are not a thing. As someone has already pointed out, they are a thing in some countries. I assume that’s where the confusion comes from.

People may be uninformed, but they aren’t just making up words out their heads.

MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 23:36

I think the term still appears in the tabloid press, but as I don't read them I wouldn't know.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/12/2017 23:42

I find it appalling that in this day and age common law partners are not recognised

There are an awful lot of people being paid huge salaries to run this country and make it's laws. It is time we started holding these people to account for their lack of moving with the times and pro-actively changing our laws

Why? If people want the relationship they are in to have the legal status and protection of a marriage then they can get married.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/12/2017 23:52

I was refused Working Tax Credits a few years ago. HMRC said that my DP is my "common law husband" because we live together

The term common law husband / wife is used in some circumstances, which is probably why people get confused and think marriage is just a piece of paper

It’s not, it’s just a phrase that means nothing that some people use.

The term the HMRC employee should have used was “living together as if you are husband and wife” which would lead to a household income based claim. LTAHAW however is a fairly outdated DWP term that HMRC inherited and most advisors would just use the term cohabiting couple (because it’s more inclusive language)

lalalalyra · 28/12/2017 00:09

I have a question. If he died and you have children together but not married, children all under 18...would they inherit and the other parent a trustee...?

The children would inherit. The other parent wouldn't have the automatic right to be the trustee.

It would all depend who applied to administrate the estate.

Who has control of assets meant for children can be a huge issue. There was a case in our town of a mother and grandmother who ended up in court because both accused the other of misusing the children's assets - the grandmother refused to allow access for something that the mother was adamant the father would want the child to have. The squabbling ended up in court and the relationship was destroyed.

MistressDeeCee · 28/12/2017 01:48

For women who say they don't believe in marriage and yet play "wife without the ring" including having children, I can't fathom what on earth they think they're achieving at all. It surely can't be independence, as you're interdependent when living with a man.

The only acquaintances I've heard say they don't believe in marriage is where it's blatantly clear the man has no intention of marrying them, so they're saying it to save face.

A work colleague is having a shit Christmas just now as after 21 years with her man, they went through a bad patch a while back. 3 months later he announced actually he doesn't want to reconcile. He met somebody else, they're engaged and planning to marry in September 2018. She's devastated. I know it's more to do with him being a shitty person than whether they were married or not, but still..all those years + 2 DCs (although he's bio father to only 1 of the DCs), and her saying she doesn't want to marry any man. Seems to me he went along with that and now has easily skipped away.

The house is in his name and he'll be living there with his new love. Colleague has been staying at her mum's. Awful situation. She definitely needs legal advice but this thread is a reminder that there's no such thing as a common law wife and it's naive to think you can be unmarried, yet have the same legal rights and status as a woman who is married.

Hopeful103 · 28/12/2017 05:04

How do you go about having 3 children with him yet leave out very important details like this. Op you are extremely ignorant. Unless you live under a rock then what do you think will happen?
As someone pointed out marriage isn't like father Christmas. Educate yourself, you have kids .

annandale · 28/12/2017 05:09

Crinky cranky the life support issue is actually up to the consultants at the hospital. Any consultant will make that decision in close discussion with the acknowledged partner. That's one of the things that marriage is much less important for.

sashh · 28/12/2017 06:18

You could have a claim for reasonable financial provision under the Inheritance (provision for family and dependents) Act 1975. Not ideal because you'd lose a chunk of money in legal fees.

A friend has just had a payment via this law, it has taken 2 years. I think he only got a payment before going to court because his 'widow' (been separated for years only wife on paper) inherited a pension for life, she is in her late 30s so will be a significant amount over the years.

OP you would be taking your own children to court to get the house, how would you feel about that?

You at the very lease BOTH need wills, to get real protection you need to get married. If one of you died what would happen to your children? Depending on when your children were born your partner may not have parental responsibility.

As others have said you don't need to wear a ring,change your name or tell anyone.