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AIBU?

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Original poster

Common in law wife? And wills

220 replies

harvester77 · 27/12/2017 10:34

Having a conversation over Xmas with family members and they asked if my other half has done a will. We have 3 kids and his house in his name on mortgage but he said if anything happened to him in to sell the house as it's mostly paid off and get the money. But if he hasn't done a will is it possible his other family could go for the the money? What would happen to us and the kids? We don't believe in marriage a s never crossed my mind but I'm unsure of what really would happen of someone happens to him? God forbid. Thank you

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 10:48

The term common-law-wife is tabloid-speak. It has no legal meaning.

If your CLH has been married and is not legally divorced his ex could claim the house. You'd have an almighty mess on your hands.

BarbarianMum · 27/12/2017 10:48

Marriage is a contract that ensures both parties a share of common assets upon termination of the relationship (voluntarily or by death). If you don't believe in that I hope to God you are working and could buy your own house. Never mind death, if he decides tomorrow that it's over you'd be homeless and could choose between your kids being homeless too or staying living with him.

MushyPeasAndPie · 27/12/2017 10:49

In England there is no legal inheritance for so called 'common law wife'. Why don't you google what happens if someone dies intestate and you will see that 'you' will inherit nothing. You could try and claim of the estate that you are dependant on him but that would be lengthy and expensive and you still may get nothing.

I don't believe in marriage in the religious sense but it is a clear legal status for lots of things (inheritance being one). Yes you could go and draw up 'almost' equivalent legal documents such as wills etc but not sure why you would go to such lengths when marriage is cheap and gives things such as no inheritance tax to surviving spouse.

C0untDucku1a · 27/12/2017 10:49

What exactly dont you believe in about marriage?

Marriage gives you legal rights. If you both had independent lives, your own homes and pensions i can undertand why you might not need the legal rights of marriage, but all your ‘not believing in marriage’ means is youll be homeless and having to start from scratch, unleas you do have your own independent wealth? In which case it doesn't matter than you wont get his home and pension?

His family will get everything if he dies.

Knittedfairies · 27/12/2017 10:51

OP - I think you have your answer now..

LadyintheRadiator · 27/12/2017 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whirlytastic · 27/12/2017 10:51

More info here on the myth of 'common law marriage' - hasn't existed since the 1750s!
m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/philip-way/common-law-marriage_b_17374464.html

RebootYourEngine · 27/12/2017 10:53

I would get married because you have no right to anything if he died.

ButteredScone · 27/12/2017 10:53

This thread is very heartening. Marriage is a legal concept not a fucking white dress and a cake.

Original poster
harvester77 · 27/12/2017 10:54

Thanks for advice. As for not believing in marriage I meant the whole religious bullshit of it sorry to offend (Not sorry actually ) his parents were never married and split up amicable and all shared equally. Same in my family. When I say family I meant cousins and my other half said he hasn't done a will but will do one after new year. I honestly thought common in law wife existed. Anyway we will sort it out.

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 27/12/2017 10:55

Marriage is a contract. What is there to ‘not believe in’?! You have children. For goodness sake just get down to the registars. Sign bits of paper, be done. Less than £100 I think. If you were with him for 20 years, but he was still married to someone he was with 1 year, at death she would still inherit everything. Get real. Get married.

ConciseandNice · 27/12/2017 10:55

Cross post, sorry.

Whirlytastic · 27/12/2017 10:56

Not 'believing in' marriage is quite naive, if there is any kind of financial dependence between you. If you want the benefits of marriage, get married! - as PP said, it's just a legal contract.

Thermowoman · 27/12/2017 10:56

There was a recent case in NI of a woman who had four kids with her partner of over 25 years. He died suddenly and she lost everything because they hadn’t got married. You are in a very vulnerable position.

pamplemoussed · 27/12/2017 10:56

You only get the protection and benefits of marriage by getting married. You don’t believe in marriage? Do you believe in making a will? Both a legal written contract to protect you and your family. If not, I hope you believe in paying the government a huge slice of unnecessary inheritance tax. I do understand that people who have no religious affiliation don’t want a religious wedding but you can go to a council office, just two of you in your jeans if you like in your lunch hour and go back to work for the afternoon. Nothing happening there to not ‘believe in’. No solemn declarations, no giving away, no excessive costs.

k2p2k2tog · 27/12/2017 10:57

Marriage doesn't have to be religious - get yourself down to the registry office and God won't get a look in.

"Not believing" in marriage is naive and shortsighted, as is believing the myth of the common-law wife.

titchy · 27/12/2017 10:58

Marriage doesn't have to be remotely religious....

kaytee87 · 27/12/2017 10:58

Anyway we will sort it out.

Well the only way to sort it out is to get married. Literally all you need to do is get a license, a registrar and 2 witnesses. Don't need to change your name or even tell anyone.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/12/2017 10:58

As for not believing in marriage I meant the whole religious bullshit of it sorry to offend

modern marriage is a legal contract protecting you and your spouse in the even of separation, illness and death. it has nothing to do with religion unless you want it to.

JeanSeberg · 27/12/2017 10:59

I think you're confusing marriage and weddings. There's no religious 'bullshit' in a marriage, it's a legal contract.

hiyasminitsme · 27/12/2017 10:59

How do people still not know this? op There is no such thing as common law wife. Get married ASAP and get wills made.

crisscrosscranky · 27/12/2017 11:00

Hmm in my experience women who don't "believe" in magic are in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to marry them or whom they don't want to marry. I've never heard a man say they don't believe in marriage.

I'm married. What about my relationship makes it different from a non-marriage aside from legal protection for both of us I'm actually worth more than my DH and our children. We got married in a church but the legal contract is the same- we've made a contract that our assets belong to each other; in marriage and in the event of divorce or death.

Whirlytastic · 27/12/2017 11:00

Aren't the majority of marriage ceremonies civil rather than religious these days? Why would you make your future so precarious on the basis of an outdated belief about what marriage Is?

seriouslystumped · 27/12/2017 11:02

You could have a claim for reasonable financial provision under the Inheritance (provision for family and dependents) Act 1975. Not ideal because you'd lose a chunk of money in legal fees. Obvious options are for your OH to prepare a will leaving everything to you. Marriage will give you the best protection as you and your children would inherit if he died without leaving a will. You could also register the house in joint names as joint tenants so it passes by survivorship. You both need to get legal advice ASAP.

BarbarianMum · 27/12/2017 11:03

Oh I've heard lots of men say they "don't believe in marriage". Generally because they'd like the right to leave the relationship if something better comes along with all their assets intact. Hmm